Stealing Thunder
An underdog tail ...32 total reviews
Comment from sasil
""THEY'RE OFF!,[insert end quote]
Only one quick fix. Wonder what the word count is on this sports flash fiction. Kudos for topic and execution--nice, tight descriptives, narration and action. Perfect photoart to accompany your convincing piece. Great job!
S.
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2011
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""THEY'RE OFF!,[insert end quote]
Only one quick fix. Wonder what the word count is on this sports flash fiction. Kudos for topic and execution--nice, tight descriptives, narration and action. Perfect photoart to accompany your convincing piece. Great job!
S.
Comment Written 27-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2011
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HI Sasil! Thank you!! I added the (")'s! ") I missed them! I am so glad when you like my stories. ") What kind encouragment! I hope you and your family are happy and doing well! xoxo, susan
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Busy & tiring, as the girls had friends and a sleepover all weekend long--last weekend too! So glad the older two back to school tomorrow--I'm whipped!
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OH wow...all weekend? I remember the few times my son had buddies over, but they were mostly outside...well, having atv wrecks, this is one reason I am so decrepite, and gray! Get some well deserved sleep young lady! ") I hope they had fun! ") xoxo, susan
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Next time I'll pick a recipe with more ingredients than helpers--less fighting that way,lol. The cookies were tasty and helped steady the truce between the youngest. Perhaps next time, the two-year-old will bite her cookie instead of her sister...
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HAHAHAA!!! OH dear! I can't help but laugh, my brother and I used to "fight" over whose cup had the most pop in it!! We would get down EYELEVEL with the glasses and make sure they were the same! OR there was an argument! Back then, a pop was a big deal. Now, I drink 5 a day! Little kids are something...I hope they are in bed sleeping! ") SOON, they will be dating and you will have to worry about THAT! ") S.
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And THAT'S supposed to help me sleep at night? LOL You're very right. What was once a once-in-a-while treat is now a daily "must-have". How times change...
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") I'm sorry, I'll be still! Enjoy them while they're little Sassie!! HUG! Suse
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Back attcha, Suse!
Comment from Dave M
Susan,
This is an excellent story of a mare and her female jockey, and how they unexpectedly won the race. I enjoyed reading this post and couldn't find anything to criticize.
Dave
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2011
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Susan,
This is an excellent story of a mare and her female jockey, and how they unexpectedly won the race. I enjoyed reading this post and couldn't find anything to criticize.
Dave
Comment Written 26-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2011
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HI Dave! Thank you! Do you like to see the Kentucky Derby? I love it, but the year Barbaro was hurt, was just awful...he was so fast, and could have been the Triple Crown winner that year. I am always so glad when you enjoy my work Dave! Susan
Comment from adewpearl
Effective opening paragraph that conveys well the inner feelings of the main character.
every one of them were at - was at
Great us of action verbs to make this dramatic scene come to life
What a wonderfully uplifting conclusion :-) Brooke
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2011
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Effective opening paragraph that conveys well the inner feelings of the main character.
every one of them were at - was at
Great us of action verbs to make this dramatic scene come to life
What a wonderfully uplifting conclusion :-) Brooke
Comment Written 26-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2011
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Hi Brooke! Thank you very much! I wanted to be a jockey when I was a teenager! But was too big...they are small people! I was 5'7" and 130 pounds, or so, and so they told me I could be a stable worker...oh well. ") So I just watched/watch the Derby! ") Thank you for a kind and thoughtful review Brooke!! HUG! Susan
Comment from dportwood
Susan,
It is flash fiction and you have worked anticipation, nervousness, and other emotions into this short piece. Well done and enjoyable. Duane
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2011
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Susan,
It is flash fiction and you have worked anticipation, nervousness, and other emotions into this short piece. Well done and enjoyable. Duane
Comment Written 26-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2011
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Hi Duane! Thank you! I'm so grateful for your time and kind review...I will get caught up with you asap...moving is getting me down...Thank you again!! Be well!! susan
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written with good form and good flow, a great job writing this story about having the confidence to ride an unknown and taking him to the finish line....
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2011
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this is very well written with good form and good flow, a great job writing this story about having the confidence to ride an unknown and taking him to the finish line....
Comment Written 26-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2011
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HI! Thank you Sweet! I love horses so much...it's easy to write about them for the most part...soon, I will have to stop riding...health and problems with neighbors are forcing me to not ride as much. Imagine, trying to ride and have firecrackers thrown at your horse! I am scared now...and I've been riding all my life...I wanted to be a jockey when I was a teen, but I was too big a person. What fun it would have been...but, thanks again Sweet, so glad to hear from you!! Susan
Comment from Deejharrington
I enjoyed your wonderful story! I love horse racing, I live for the triple crown. I wish there were more female jockeys. And more mares! You did a great job of making the reader feel the anticipation before the race and the blur of winning. More horse stories!
dj
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2011
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I enjoyed your wonderful story! I love horse racing, I live for the triple crown. I wish there were more female jockeys. And more mares! You did a great job of making the reader feel the anticipation before the race and the blur of winning. More horse stories!
dj
Comment Written 26-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2011
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Hi DJ! THank you! Remember Barbaro? I think he could have won the Triple that year...what a tragedy...I thought he would make it too. Well, I sure appreciate your kind enthusiasm for my work, and I have another story about a horse soon, if I can get it done...I am moving, so behind in all things I enjoy...xoxo, susan
Comment from missy98writer
Susan,
your flash fiction story titled Stealing Thunder is very written and an exciting read. Your story paints a picture in the readers head. Excellent narrative with great characterizationand very good descriptive writing. In a minimum amount of words for a maximum effect you established a setting, conflict, and a resolution to your story. Jolene was the racer and I enjoyed how you placed us in her head. Thanks for sharing your excellent flash fiction. Keep on cranking out wonderful stories, my friend.
Melissa.
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2011
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Susan,
your flash fiction story titled Stealing Thunder is very written and an exciting read. Your story paints a picture in the readers head. Excellent narrative with great characterizationand very good descriptive writing. In a minimum amount of words for a maximum effect you established a setting, conflict, and a resolution to your story. Jolene was the racer and I enjoyed how you placed us in her head. Thanks for sharing your excellent flash fiction. Keep on cranking out wonderful stories, my friend.
Melissa.
Comment Written 26-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2011
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HI Melissa!! I will try, we are moving so it's hard to do much...I am so happy to hear from you! Hope you are having some decent weather!?? It SNOWED here yesterday! AHHHHHHHHHhhhhh!!!! I was so mad! ") NO Fair!! I luv hearing from you!! HUG! Susan
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It was cloudy today. I'm so behind on reviewing I'm working at six minutes until 1AM to catch up.
Melissa.
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") Hi there! Me too, it's 2 am here, and I am so tired! I have 58 reviews to thank, and 56 things to read and review! I hate this getting so far back...how are you doing after having pnumonia Melissa? I sure worry for you...it's no fun being that sick. Don't worry about my work, it'll be here, you just take good care of yourself! I am trying to get packed to move...where am I going to go with 10 animals? HA! Love! Susan
Comment from Spiritual Echo
Great. Suberb flash, but regardless of the category you caught in all. Every word was chosen with precision and maximum effect.
The story tells it all. Veey well done.
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2011
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Great. Suberb flash, but regardless of the category you caught in all. Every word was chosen with precision and maximum effect.
The story tells it all. Veey well done.
Comment Written 26-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2011
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Hi Ingrid! Thanks! Your thoughts mean a lot to me and I always love hearing from you. Hope you are having some decent weather up there?? !! We had more sssssnnnoowwww! Hiss!! BOO! ") Boy, this weather just sucks... "/ susan
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
What an action filled
short story, your words
so full of imagery that
they painted the scene.
Well done my friend.
Margaret
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2011
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What an action filled
short story, your words
so full of imagery that
they painted the scene.
Well done my friend.
Margaret
Comment Written 26-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2011
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Hi Margaret! Thank you for being here for me...It's not fair, so easy to write a little story, yet not enough time to read others or barely thank you all for my reviews...I am so tired, and all I want to do is sleep, or write. Can barely do either! Oh well, thank you again Margaret! love you!! Susan
Comment from janbar
I was at the track with you; and could feel the excitement and determination you so wonderfully describe. Hooray for the little mare! Thank you for inviting us all out to the track today, I'm so glad I decided to come along. janbar
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2011
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I was at the track with you; and could feel the excitement and determination you so wonderfully describe. Hooray for the little mare! Thank you for inviting us all out to the track today, I'm so glad I decided to come along. janbar
Comment Written 26-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2011
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Hi Jan! Thank you!! I bet you are a horse nut too! Wish I had you here to ride with me! Of course, the weather is bad again, but hopefully SOON!! Warmer days! ") Thanks for being here Jan!! xoxo, susan
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I used to ride and once had horses; now I just enjoy talking to my neighbors horses. They are such noble beasts!
