What Were You in College
A late night muse on times long past53 total reviews
Comment from Veekz
I'm sorry my friend but I can't help but disagree with your last sentence. Hindsight is great but ultimately useless and the fact of the matter your children are no longer 'children.' There comes a point where they need to take responsibilities for themselves. I can relate to your children cos my parents sound just like you and I would NEVER think to blame them for trying to give me the best they could -especially, as in the case with your children, if I had then squandered that gift of an education.
As parents we can only do the best we can and try to give kids the life we think they deserve - kids grow up to be adults who then make their own decisions. Sometimes those decisions aren't that great but as an ADULT they have made that choice - it has nothing to do with you trying to give them an education hun.
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2011
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I'm sorry my friend but I can't help but disagree with your last sentence. Hindsight is great but ultimately useless and the fact of the matter your children are no longer 'children.' There comes a point where they need to take responsibilities for themselves. I can relate to your children cos my parents sound just like you and I would NEVER think to blame them for trying to give me the best they could -especially, as in the case with your children, if I had then squandered that gift of an education.
As parents we can only do the best we can and try to give kids the life we think they deserve - kids grow up to be adults who then make their own decisions. Sometimes those decisions aren't that great but as an ADULT they have made that choice - it has nothing to do with you trying to give them an education hun.
Comment Written 14-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2011
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Thanks for reading, your feedback and comments. Warm regards, Bill
Comment from Rdfrdmom2
bhogg:
Don't be too hard on yourself. There's no guarantee your
children would have graduated from college even if you had
done it your father's way. I've seen it go both ways in both scenarios. This is a good essay, however, with a lot of good advice. It is wise for college students to have some investment in their own future.
Thanks for sharing
love,
jan
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2011
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bhogg:
Don't be too hard on yourself. There's no guarantee your
children would have graduated from college even if you had
done it your father's way. I've seen it go both ways in both scenarios. This is a good essay, however, with a lot of good advice. It is wise for college students to have some investment in their own future.
Thanks for sharing
love,
jan
Comment Written 14-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2011
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Thanks for reading Jan and for your kind and thoughtful comments. Regards, Bill
Comment from Narvik
Bill, that last line hit me like a dagger. I've never met you, but doubt there's any validity to that. I could tell you some stories about my own kids that I'm not too proud of. But we can't live there lives for them.
As for the writing, very confident and smooth, as usual. Nice way to set up your agonizing reflections, i.e., from the woman's question at the party.
I hate making suggestions on stories like this but I guess that's what we're here for. Some suggestions that could probably go either way:
Both went to where they wanted (don't need 'to')
One has a job that's a good job, (Could be simply 'one has a good job')
"What were you in college." (Did you mean to put a question mark here?)
deans list (dean's list)
I saw two or three 'that's' you could ditch.
Anyway, very touching story, Bill. Don't know what else to say.
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2011
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Bill, that last line hit me like a dagger. I've never met you, but doubt there's any validity to that. I could tell you some stories about my own kids that I'm not too proud of. But we can't live there lives for them.
As for the writing, very confident and smooth, as usual. Nice way to set up your agonizing reflections, i.e., from the woman's question at the party.
I hate making suggestions on stories like this but I guess that's what we're here for. Some suggestions that could probably go either way:
Both went to where they wanted (don't need 'to')
One has a job that's a good job, (Could be simply 'one has a good job')
"What were you in college." (Did you mean to put a question mark here?)
deans list (dean's list)
I saw two or three 'that's' you could ditch.
Anyway, very touching story, Bill. Don't know what else to say.
Comment Written 14-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2011
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Hi CJ - thanks for reading and your feedback and help. I should pay you editor fees! Always warm regards, Bill
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written with good form and good flow, a great story about the way things were when you were in college and the things you wanted to happen with your children, from your other stories, i would say you didn't fall short as a father.
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2011
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this is very well written with good form and good flow, a great story about the way things were when you were in college and the things you wanted to happen with your children, from your other stories, i would say you didn't fall short as a father.
Comment Written 14-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2011
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Thanks for reading Pam and your kind feedback! Warm regards, Bill
Comment from Soledadpaz
Don't knock yourself down, Bill. You know what they say, you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. There has to be responsibility forthcoming from the self. I share your experience with some of my kids. My youngest is a gem. Self motivated and focused. My blessing.
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2011
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Don't knock yourself down, Bill. You know what they say, you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. There has to be responsibility forthcoming from the self. I share your experience with some of my kids. My youngest is a gem. Self motivated and focused. My blessing.
Comment Written 14-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2011
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Thank you for reading and the wonderfully kind comments. I don't really knock myself. I could also write about the good things. Sometimes it's just to easy to look back and think woulda shoulda! Regards, Bill
Comment from Adri7enne
Good essay, b. The answers are so much easier in retrospect. While it's happening, we do what we can. There's no doubt that having to supplement a college budget is good training for adulthood. I guess kids have a little too much handed to them. It's instinctive, though, I think, to want to shelter them from the obstacles as much as possible.
Well written, b, with the voice of a father who questions his parenting. Touching and a little sad.
Well done!
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2011
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Good essay, b. The answers are so much easier in retrospect. While it's happening, we do what we can. There's no doubt that having to supplement a college budget is good training for adulthood. I guess kids have a little too much handed to them. It's instinctive, though, I think, to want to shelter them from the obstacles as much as possible.
Well written, b, with the voice of a father who questions his parenting. Touching and a little sad.
Well done!
Comment Written 14-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2011
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Thank you very much for reading and your kind words. It was strange, because I always outline before writing. My outline had a comical story about how poor I was in college. It just didn't end up there. Regards, Bill
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You think that's tough. Try writing a novel and having readers second guess you on the story line...Sometimes you just hang onto the muse's coat tails and hang on. LOL! I like your humour.
Comment from Ann Smith
This in just a few paragraphs says a lot about our generation and how we would do things differently. W all have failed as a parent in one way or another. Mostly, it seems to fall in the category of giving our children too much. ann
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2011
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This in just a few paragraphs says a lot about our generation and how we would do things differently. W all have failed as a parent in one way or another. Mostly, it seems to fall in the category of giving our children too much. ann
Comment Written 14-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2011
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Thanks Ann - you always provide such kind feedback! I hope you did manage to enjoy your Sunday. It was gorgeous here in Rocky Mount. Regards, Bill
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It was a beautiful Sunday. ann
Comment from penelope
This is the second or third story of yours I've read and reviewed, Bhogg. It's very well written. I don't agree about you not being a good father. You did what you thought was right; you gave your kids the chance and they didn't use it. Pity, but I'm sure they are still fine people. No regrets. Penelope
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2011
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This is the second or third story of yours I've read and reviewed, Bhogg. It's very well written. I don't agree about you not being a good father. You did what you thought was right; you gave your kids the chance and they didn't use it. Pity, but I'm sure they are still fine people. No regrets. Penelope
Comment Written 14-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2011
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Thanks Penelope - it was strange where this story ended up. I always outline before writing, and my outline was a humorous essay on living cheap. Sometimes when you start banging a story out, it takes you in another direction. That happened to me. Warm regards, Bill
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Well, that's true, Bill. But, that's writing from the heart. Besides, you can still write the other story. I bet many would be interested in reading it and going back down memory lane. P ;)
Comment from RebelRose
Parenthood does not come with a book of instructions and two or more kids in one family don't necessarily have the same needs in the way of parenting. It's all hit and miss. Trial and error. We are all guilty of wanting our kids to have more and easier than we had it. I enjoyed this write. Very well done.
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2011
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Parenthood does not come with a book of instructions and two or more kids in one family don't necessarily have the same needs in the way of parenting. It's all hit and miss. Trial and error. We are all guilty of wanting our kids to have more and easier than we had it. I enjoyed this write. Very well done.
Comment Written 14-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2011
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I've had lots of chances in that not only having two of my own, but three step kids. It's odd - they all think I'm pretty smart now. They sure didn't growing up! Always warm regards, Bill
Comment from Southern Writer
Bull feathers, can't think that a man who just gave the kids a blank check for college is less than a good dad! And you are right, who in the world knows what they want to be when they 'grow up." For goodness sakes they are not even adults. Both of my boys went to college when I insisted. One spent 2 years drinking and came home with trophies for being the arm wrestling champ for those two years. Yea, our family has an athlete! After he was in his thirties, he finished with honors and it didn't cost us a penny. the other one went one semester and didn't go to class. Then he went in the Air Force, came out and lived like a poor bum but put hisself thru school. They didn't appreciate our money going to education after all the private schools and etc. but they sure got busy when it was their money.
Crap, babysitting today and the kids are tearing up something upstairs.....................bye
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2011
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Bull feathers, can't think that a man who just gave the kids a blank check for college is less than a good dad! And you are right, who in the world knows what they want to be when they 'grow up." For goodness sakes they are not even adults. Both of my boys went to college when I insisted. One spent 2 years drinking and came home with trophies for being the arm wrestling champ for those two years. Yea, our family has an athlete! After he was in his thirties, he finished with honors and it didn't cost us a penny. the other one went one semester and didn't go to class. Then he went in the Air Force, came out and lived like a poor bum but put hisself thru school. They didn't appreciate our money going to education after all the private schools and etc. but they sure got busy when it was their money.
Crap, babysitting today and the kids are tearing up something upstairs.....................bye
Comment Written 14-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2011
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This was just a melancholy write after some Jack Daniels. I really should stay away from that stuff!
