Lonely Hearts Meet
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "Part One of Chapter 1"Anna and her son escape from a man-made Hell.
117 total reviews
Comment from charolette.garrett
I like the story line of the novel. It kept me intrigued. However, I want to know more about the husband. Good Luck with your writing. I want to know what is going to happen next.
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2011
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I like the story line of the novel. It kept me intrigued. However, I want to know more about the husband. Good Luck with your writing. I want to know what is going to happen next.
Comment Written 07-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2011
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This is only the first 5 pages of the first chapter. PLease give me time to develope the rest.
Comment from Haggard
I liked the ending, ha. Baby's are life-savers I suppose - they're not all that bad after all. Good description, good write. Thanks for the pleasant read.
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2011
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I liked the ending, ha. Baby's are life-savers I suppose - they're not all that bad after all. Good description, good write. Thanks for the pleasant read.
Comment Written 06-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2011
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from R. K. Alan
Not sure why the disclaimers, the story flowed beautifully even though romance isn't necessarily my thing. Loved the strong character introductions. You clearly delineated Anna's plight, the trash she's married to and the potential love interest. Nicely done.
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2011
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Not sure why the disclaimers, the story flowed beautifully even though romance isn't necessarily my thing. Loved the strong character introductions. You clearly delineated Anna's plight, the trash she's married to and the potential love interest. Nicely done.
Comment Written 06-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2011
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from marcii
Having been in an abusive marriage I can relate to your story, thankfully I got out of my marriage after two years thanks to my loving family.
Your story starts of well.
Marcii
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2011
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Having been in an abusive marriage I can relate to your story, thankfully I got out of my marriage after two years thanks to my loving family.
Your story starts of well.
Marcii
Comment Written 06-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2011
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Rdfrdmom2
Barbara:
You're off to a great start. When a writer feels
compelled to write something, then it is meant to
happen. I am sure you will do just fine. Besides,
we are here to support you.
Thanks for sharing
love,
jan
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2011
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Barbara:
You're off to a great start. When a writer feels
compelled to write something, then it is meant to
happen. I am sure you will do just fine. Besides,
we are here to support you.
Thanks for sharing
love,
jan
Comment Written 06-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2011
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Thank you for your encouraging words and kind review.
Comment from Belinda
Hi, Barbara. I'm glad I caught this one ... :) Seems like the problem here is universal. Some men are as selfish as Bobby, and others are as sweet as Troy (hopefully). This is an interesting beginning for a novel.
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2011
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Hi, Barbara. I'm glad I caught this one ... :) Seems like the problem here is universal. Some men are as selfish as Bobby, and others are as sweet as Troy (hopefully). This is an interesting beginning for a novel.
Comment Written 06-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2011
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from RebelRose
This is a good start for this novel. So far, it has gained and held my interest. I will follow all the way through because I know I won't be disappointed.
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2011
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This is a good start for this novel. So far, it has gained and held my interest. I will follow all the way through because I know I won't be disappointed.
Comment Written 06-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2011
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I sure hope I don't disappoint you. Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from teacherdub
*No errors found in mechanics/ syntax/ etc.
* Flow is consistently tense once the husband enters the scene.
* Introduction of Troy early-on lends a bit of joy to the otherwise horrific situation the mom and baby are in.
*Interjecting the idea that she plans on leaving the abusive situation gives credibility to the opening scene in the library.
GOOD JOB ON THE OPENING. td
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2011
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*No errors found in mechanics/ syntax/ etc.
* Flow is consistently tense once the husband enters the scene.
* Introduction of Troy early-on lends a bit of joy to the otherwise horrific situation the mom and baby are in.
*Interjecting the idea that she plans on leaving the abusive situation gives credibility to the opening scene in the library.
GOOD JOB ON THE OPENING. td
Comment Written 06-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2011
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from driven
Wow. I can honestly say that I really enjoyed this. It was honest and well written. No baroque, flowery words, just simple, realistic situations that anyone can relate too. I could feel the drama building, and I could feel the trapped atmosphere that Anna lives in. I sincerely enjoyed this and I hope that I get the opportunity to read more. Well done.
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2011
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Wow. I can honestly say that I really enjoyed this. It was honest and well written. No baroque, flowery words, just simple, realistic situations that anyone can relate too. I could feel the drama building, and I could feel the trapped atmosphere that Anna lives in. I sincerely enjoyed this and I hope that I get the opportunity to read more. Well done.
Comment Written 06-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2011
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Thank you for the kind review, although I am not sure what to do to fix it to get five stars the next time.
Comment from nora arjuna
You started a new story! I'm amazed at how creative your mind has been - a chain of stories, one after another. This one appears to be of different people. Sounds like interesting.
2 suggestions:
He [set a hand on each side of her waist], then helped her until her feet touched the floor. - nothing wrong here, just that I don't think you need to describe in detail how he does it. Maybe just - 'He gripped her waist' is understood. Now I wonder about the chair he's sitting on. Is it a high one, that her feet don't touch the floor?
She sat in a chair across from him and raised the book, [covering] her face. - try 'to cover', more active this way.
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2011
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You started a new story! I'm amazed at how creative your mind has been - a chain of stories, one after another. This one appears to be of different people. Sounds like interesting.
2 suggestions:
He [set a hand on each side of her waist], then helped her until her feet touched the floor. - nothing wrong here, just that I don't think you need to describe in detail how he does it. Maybe just - 'He gripped her waist' is understood. Now I wonder about the chair he's sitting on. Is it a high one, that her feet don't touch the floor?
She sat in a chair across from him and raised the book, [covering] her face. - try 'to cover', more active this way.
Comment Written 06-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2011
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Thank you for your eagle eye. I made those corrections. I appreciate your review.
