Comment from Jennifer L Newcomb

Excellent

As I read, I thought you were speaking of you and Jesus. lol. There are so many styles of writing, especially poetry. I have written my poetry the same way since I have been writing poetry. I love to read other styles and desire to expand. Thank you for sharing and then explaining at the end about this being your first bridge. Now I will educate myself a bit, I don't know exactly what this means. I kind off have an idea now that I read this. Thanks again!

 Comment Written 10-Apr-2021

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reply by the author on 10-Apr-2021

Jennifer: I will read some of your portfolio to get a feel of how you write. In essence, the lexi- (my granddaughter) bridge (to get from one verse to the next) is simply a set of 3 line verses with 4 syllables in line 1, 6 in line 2, and 7 in line 3. The verses are joined by a bridge which may, or may not, become a one line message/poem when completed. The key is that it does not have to make a poem within a poem. I will look for one of my examples of that and post it soon. Jan (BTW, this would work for Jesus and me, too!)

Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose

Excellent

Whenever You Have Fears
by Rdfrdmom2

Your poem reminds me of a song. :)

I have a grandson that's three years old and he keeps me busy to say the least.

Well done.

 Comment Written 17-Mar-2021

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reply by the author on 19-Mar-2021

Thanks so much, Gypsy Blue Rose.

Jan

Comment from Pen-ZIE

Excellent

Sounds like words that comes right from your heart, but I feel it's gotta be this way when it's such a close relative; a granddaughter, you must stay the course, things will get better.

Thanks for expressing your love for your granddaughter - in this piece.

 Comment Written 17-Mar-2021

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reply by the author on 19-Mar-2021

Thanks so much, Pen-ZIE. Jan

Comment from Janice Canerdy

Excellent

Your poem is creatively-composed, descriptive, and lovely. The message conveyed is one of unconditional love, needed by ALL. We should think of the Lord's unique love as a model.

 Comment Written 17-Mar-2021

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reply by the author on 19-Mar-2021

Yes, Janice. I try to teach my granddaughter to see herself and others as Christ sees us. Jan

Comment from Raffaelina Lowcock

Excellent

I love the one-word message that you have displayed within this lovely poem. Knowing that someone else, other than, Jesus, is always there to help in any situation, here on earth, would fortify your attitude in life, forever. A very heartfelt offering.

Ralf

 Comment Written 16-Mar-2021

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reply by the author on 19-Mar-2021

Thanks so much, Ralf. I agree totally. Jan

Comment from Susan Newell

Excellent

This is an exceptionally well composed commentary on the unconditional love of God. However, you have a problem with the word "askance," which is an adverb indicating disapproval. I think you mean "asking."

 Comment Written 16-Mar-2021

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reply by the author on 19-Mar-2021

Thanks for that tip, Susan. I have changed it. Jan

reply by Susan Newell on 20-Mar-2021

You are welcome.

Comment from Trish Wilson

Exceptional

Oh my- this is beautiful. Such love and grace that is portrayed within this poem is heartwarming. Illustrates Gods for His children and too the love a parent has for their children and grandchildren. I love the how the stand-alone "bridge" words make a message. Brilliant! Definitely one of my very favs. Thank you for sharing.

 Comment Written 15-Mar-2021

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reply by the author on 19-Mar-2021

Thanks, again, Trish, for this exceptional rating.
Jan

Comment from Jannypan (Jan)

Excellent

You poem in your invented style reads well, Jan. It is really two poems in one--the whole of it, then the words that bridge the verses. Your poem flows well and created great imagery. I enjoyed reading it.
Respectfully, Jan

 Comment Written 15-Mar-2021

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reply by the author on 19-Mar-2021

Thanks so much, Jan. Jan

Comment from royowen

Excellent

You've used this fascinating form to express your love for the one who is love personified. God's nature is my desire to imitate, but I keep tripping over my humanity. Well done Jan, great witness, blessings Roy
Query : askance or asking, or even constant?

 Comment Written 15-Mar-2021

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reply by the author on 19-Mar-2021

Thanks so much, Roy. You are right - it should have been asking instead of askance - I have fixed it. Jan

reply by royowen on 19-Mar-2021

Well done

Comment from harmony13

Excellent

The author's words are reassuring, clear and creative. Thank you for the
author's notes. I thought about my grandchildren and how raising them
by their parents sometimes is difficult. The poem flows and connects well.
I found this poem well written.

 Comment Written 15-Mar-2021

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reply by the author on 19-Mar-2021

Thanks so much, harmony13. Kids have so many more temptations than I had growing up in the 60s which is, in large part, a big part of the problem. Jan