Another Pretty Face
Viewing comments for Chapter 34 "Chapter 14; part three"Can love survive small town gossip?
80 total reviews
Comment from valentinacardillo
Guess I need to check out your other chapters, Falling in to 14 was great . Your such a realest here , Felt like I was ez- dropping , I must also agree with sunny69 in her comment to you . Great art work I might add . Thank you Valentina
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2011
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Guess I need to check out your other chapters, Falling in to 14 was great . Your such a realest here , Felt like I was ez- dropping , I must also agree with sunny69 in her comment to you . Great art work I might add . Thank you Valentina
Comment Written 24-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2011
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Thank you for your kind words and review.
Comment from The Stranger
It is always the best way for any relationship, to begin with no skeletons, for if you keep a secret, it will forever taint your relationship
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2011
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It is always the best way for any relationship, to begin with no skeletons, for if you keep a secret, it will forever taint your relationship
Comment Written 24-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2011
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from KathyH
This is the first posting on this story that I have read. It held my attention and makes me interested to learn more of the story. The characters seem both interesting and complex.
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2011
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This is the first posting on this story that I have read. It held my attention and makes me interested to learn more of the story. The characters seem both interesting and complex.
Comment Written 24-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2011
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Glynnis W
Nice description and I like how well you developed scenes that moved the story forward. The dialogue was okay. It helped me get a better picture of the characters and their goals. Overall, it was a fun read. I'll have to play catch up. gl
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2011
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Nice description and I like how well you developed scenes that moved the story forward. The dialogue was okay. It helped me get a better picture of the characters and their goals. Overall, it was a fun read. I'll have to play catch up. gl
Comment Written 24-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2011
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from KayteeF
Lovely lovely work, Barbara.
Cleverly done, getting all the angst sorted out this way. So romantic, I even shed some tears during this posting.
I am glad to hear you are having some positive reactions to suggestions. Liver is a great idea though chicken livers are much easier on the palate.
Take care and God Bless. Cathleen
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2011
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Lovely lovely work, Barbara.
Cleverly done, getting all the angst sorted out this way. So romantic, I even shed some tears during this posting.
I am glad to hear you are having some positive reactions to suggestions. Liver is a great idea though chicken livers are much easier on the palate.
Take care and God Bless. Cathleen
Comment Written 24-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2011
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Thank you for your kind review. I like chicken liver, but I have discovered a person can only eat so much chicken liver.
Comment from teacherdub
The storyline is smooth,poignant,and moves with a steady pace. I haven't read all of your chapters, so I must rate this one independently. The story seems to be coming to a pivotal point as this chapter appears to be tying up loose ends. Good job. {suggestions for editing follow) td
angry with Roy and I watched you (Roy, and I)
for attacking Roy and I've regretted (Roy,and I've)
He even allowed the townspeople and participated himself in chastising you for over fourteen years."
(rephrase:allowed the townspeople and himself to chastise you..)
protecting you and I (you, and I)
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2011
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The storyline is smooth,poignant,and moves with a steady pace. I haven't read all of your chapters, so I must rate this one independently. The story seems to be coming to a pivotal point as this chapter appears to be tying up loose ends. Good job. {suggestions for editing follow) td
angry with Roy and I watched you (Roy, and I)
for attacking Roy and I've regretted (Roy,and I've)
He even allowed the townspeople and participated himself in chastising you for over fourteen years."
(rephrase:allowed the townspeople and himself to chastise you..)
protecting you and I (you, and I)
Comment Written 24-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2011
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Yesterday I just had a conversation with someone about commas. I am almost positive I don't need them in those sentences. We were doing some research on them. I would like to know your source. I will change the other sentence. It sounds much better. Thank you for your eagle eye.
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My suggestions for comma placement is to separate the independent clauses in a compound sentence. I know grammar rules change over time, and I base mine on what I taught. Please do not change them if you have other updated rules. I can be a bit rigid in "old school" rules. td
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Commas are somthing that I struggle understanding because the rules on them do change. Some are very standard. The puncuation books my son brought home from college do not have a comma in those situations. I guess the editor will have the final say.
Comment from cheyennewy
Hi Barbara,
This is a beautiful chapter and I am so glad Sara finally let Joe know of her concerns. In my heart I know he isn't a violent man but his job does require that of him sometimes. My husband was in law enforcement so I do understand it. Another chapter of this wonderful book. Well written and compelling. I am so glad the liver helped your iron stats and I pray you will continue to feel good on your path to good health. Blessings, chey
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2011
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Hi Barbara,
This is a beautiful chapter and I am so glad Sara finally let Joe know of her concerns. In my heart I know he isn't a violent man but his job does require that of him sometimes. My husband was in law enforcement so I do understand it. Another chapter of this wonderful book. Well written and compelling. I am so glad the liver helped your iron stats and I pray you will continue to feel good on your path to good health. Blessings, chey
Comment Written 24-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2011
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from missy98writer
Barbara,
I'm happy your doing better. Awesome art work of Nancy's you picked. Chapter thirty-four is superbly written with excellent dialogue, great narrative and very good detailed writing. I'm glad Sara is chilling out. If I were Sara I'd be kissing him for punching Roy in the face because he deserved an ass kicking. I'm glad there are no more obstacles, unless Joe has a secret of his own. I look forward to reading your last 24 pages in this fabulous book. Rock on and keep on kicking cancers butt!
Melissa.
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2011
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Barbara,
I'm happy your doing better. Awesome art work of Nancy's you picked. Chapter thirty-four is superbly written with excellent dialogue, great narrative and very good detailed writing. I'm glad Sara is chilling out. If I were Sara I'd be kissing him for punching Roy in the face because he deserved an ass kicking. I'm glad there are no more obstacles, unless Joe has a secret of his own. I look forward to reading your last 24 pages in this fabulous book. Rock on and keep on kicking cancers butt!
Melissa.
Comment Written 24-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2011
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Thank you for your kind review and support.
Comment from sunny39
This is a really good chapter. The dialogue is very realistic. There is also a lot of emotion here. I really like Sara. I think Joe's reaction was realistic.
I was really glad Sara was now able to be in a relationship with Joe.
Very good chapter.
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2011
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This is a really good chapter. The dialogue is very realistic. There is also a lot of emotion here. I really like Sara. I think Joe's reaction was realistic.
I was really glad Sara was now able to be in a relationship with Joe.
Very good chapter.
Comment Written 24-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2011
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Janeyjane
I thoroughly enjoyed this piece of writing. I don't have much experience on writing myself,
its good to be able to see others style and use of language. The words and descriptions
you have used fit together well. Im looking forward to reading more from you. Thanks for
sharing!
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2011
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I thoroughly enjoyed this piece of writing. I don't have much experience on writing myself,
its good to be able to see others style and use of language. The words and descriptions
you have used fit together well. Im looking forward to reading more from you. Thanks for
sharing!
Comment Written 24-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2011
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Writers have their own style that they are comfortable with. This is mine. I am sure you will find what works best for you.
