Reviews from

Another Pretty Face

Viewing comments for Chapter 33 "Chapter 14; part two"
Can love survive small town gossip?

77 total reviews 
Comment from Realist101
Excellent
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Hi Barb! NOW I'm really hungry, I havn't gotten around to even making dinner yet. I'm doing spring cleaning now, rather than later! ") I LOVE strawberries, and they are the most romantic of the fruits I think. You always incorporate just the right touch of romance with realism and drama too. Admirable that Sara doesn't want to be "kept". ") I need to go cook! ") hug! Susan

 Comment Written 16-Jan-2011


reply by the author on 16-Jan-2011
    Thank you for your kind review and support. I love strawberries too, hence the reason I added them.
Comment from Allezw2
Excellent
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Lady BW,

Steady on. Believe me, I know why the ARC is so eager to notify me when I can donate another unit of my A+, CMV-.

This is an interesting thrashing of what every couple should consider before zinging into matrimonial bliss. Who should know batter than you.

As I've mentioned before, I saw too much of the straitened circumstances the military families live under while serving my navy enlistment, thirty-nine months though it was.

Keep'em flying,

Fantasist

For your consideration:

- "If it helped you [decided](decide) to stay with me, I won't complain."

I believe we have a conflict in tense here.

 Comment Written 16-Jan-2011


reply by the author on 16-Jan-2011
    I correct that conflict in tense. Thank you for catching it. I appreciate your review and your support.
reply by Allezw2 on 16-Jan-2011
    You're welcome.
Comment from Helen Tan
Excellent
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I read your notes. I hope the iron count increases soon. This chapter is clean, fast paced as it's dialogue based. Sara is still hesitant to fully commit - 29 pages should be sufficient to settle her fears.

"After the newness wears off,
After the novelty wears off

I don't want to be a kept woman.
This shows her independent streak but I guess after being dumped and being a single parent for all these years, this character trait is to be expected.

 Comment Written 16-Jan-2011


reply by the author on 16-Jan-2011
    Thank you for your kind review and support. I always enjoy hearing from you.
Comment from Rama Rao
Excellent
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First, it is good to know your condition is stable, and there is no reason for concern. Second, it is sad to know the novel will be finishing soon in three or four posts. As for this chapter, it made excellent reading, as usual. The story has progressed well, and Sara's doubts are being cleared, one by one.
She fingered a piece of lobster to avoid his- could you change the verb fingered pl? It sounds odd. Suggest played around with.

 Comment Written 16-Jan-2011


reply by the author on 16-Jan-2011
    I will recheck that area. I appreciate your input.
Comment from rkstata
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This was really good! I could not stop reading it. I didn't read the chapters before this, so some parts still don't make sense to me, but the ending always leaves me feeling like I want to read more. Good luck on your book!

 Comment Written 16-Jan-2011


reply by the author on 16-Jan-2011
    Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Sarah_Goldwell
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This is another well written Chapter. Strawberries lobster and limos my kind of man lol. I saw a program on Taskforce the other night. It gave a real insight to the work they do. I thought of this story as i was watching it.

 Comment Written 16-Jan-2011


reply by the author on 16-Jan-2011
    Thank you for your support and kind review.
Comment from Nanette Mary
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Hullo Barbara ...

You really are a very courageous lady because of the way, in your Notes at the end, you add a brief summary of the treatment you are undergoing and its debilitating effects.
I enjoyed this chapter of your book and the way Joe had an answer for all the little 'obstacles' presented by Sara.
There are just a few small changes to recommend ...

* 'rocky bluffs' must surely be an American way of describing obstacles and one that I have not heard of before. Why bluffs, I wonder?
* You have - If it helped you decided to stay with me ... I suggest - If it helped you decide to stay with me ....
* You have - No one has ever treated me special before
I suggest - No-one has ever before treated me with so much special attention and and lavished on me so much luxury. (This is just a suggestion. 'treated me special before' is not grammatically correct.)
* You have - What if I would have decided I didn't want to see you anymore? I suggest - What if I had decided that I didn't want to see you anymore?
* You have - I would've just tried harder. I suggest -
I would just have tried harder.
* You have - We can compromise by me agreeing whenever I know I'm going to be in a dangerous situation, I'll tell you. I suggest - We can compromise by me agreeting that, whenever I know I am going to be in a dangerous situation, I'll tell you.

Now, I look forward to the next chapter and, of course, to hearing of your brave fight in the health-stakes.
Love from ... Nanette Mary.

 Comment Written 16-Jan-2011


reply by the author on 16-Jan-2011
    Thank you for your eagle eyes. I will check those areas out.
Comment from Belinda
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Hi, Barbara. All questions answered. But I understand Sara's last concern. It is this way too in my country. Money matters in other people's opinion. And being seen as a kept woman is something to bother about. (Of course I'm sticking with you and Sara ...:))

 Comment Written 16-Jan-2011


reply by the author on 16-Jan-2011
    Thank you. I am taking some hits on Sara. I am not sure I did a good job describing the country area she was raised in. Or it was such a long time ago that my readers have forgotten.
Comment from Nanashirley
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I liked the way you started the post with the last line from the last. I saw no editing needed and I think you are doing great for the stress your under. I see a diet of liver and spinach in your immediate future.

 Comment Written 16-Jan-2011


reply by the author on 16-Jan-2011
    I am eating chicken liver. My guys won't touch it. I am trying everything I can. Thank you for your kind review.
reply by Nanashirley on 16-Jan-2011
    Cook in mushroom soup mith mushrooms cooked in don't cook to death.
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2011
    They you for the suggestion. I have been searching the Internet. Last night, I cooked it with a little olive oil, onions, garlic, lemon juice, salt and pepper. It was pretty good. I stood over it because nobody wants dried out liver. Besides I had to protect it from my kitty. It seems liver is one of her favorit foods. She'll take a sharp swat to get to liver.
Comment from RKagan
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HI Barbara, I love this story. The chocolate covered strawberries are a lovely romantic touch. The crosiants too! Joe is perfect and has become such a lovely fantasty man. This is a great chapter.

 Comment Written 16-Jan-2011


reply by the author on 16-Jan-2011
    Thank you for your kind review and support. I had to put my favorites in somewhere.