Love's Scent
The tie17 total reviews
Comment from swosugrad09
Your poem is so elegant and gracefully written! I love the repeatition of the words vanilla and mantilla. Love has a beautiful story which you have wonderfully told. Nicely done!
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2011
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Your poem is so elegant and gracefully written! I love the repeatition of the words vanilla and mantilla. Love has a beautiful story which you have wonderfully told. Nicely done!
Comment Written 18-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2011
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Thank you for taking the time to read my work and the kind words. They are very appreciated/
Comment from MKlecker
You took on a difficult rhyme scheme. I commend you for creating such a story with only two rhyming words. The story was subtle and mysterious, my favorite kind of poetry! Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2011
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You took on a difficult rhyme scheme. I commend you for creating such a story with only two rhyming words. The story was subtle and mysterious, my favorite kind of poetry! Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 18-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2011
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Thank you for your kind words....they are greatly appreciated.
Comment from sierra scribbler
This is interesting, but I would like to know why she/everything is wearing a veil.
Is this poem a chronicle of a specific woman's life, from birth to death? Or are you just flashing memories that come to life at the scent of vanilla.
Enjoyed your poem.
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2011
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This is interesting, but I would like to know why she/everything is wearing a veil.
Is this poem a chronicle of a specific woman's life, from birth to death? Or are you just flashing memories that come to life at the scent of vanilla.
Enjoyed your poem.
Comment Written 18-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2011
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Chronicles of a specific spanish ladies life. Thank you for your review.
Comment from The Stranger
this is a fine piece of poetry that speaks volumes for your understanding and personal ability to be able to put your thoughts to good verse
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2011
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this is a fine piece of poetry that speaks volumes for your understanding and personal ability to be able to put your thoughts to good verse
Comment Written 17-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2011
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Thank you for your kind words, they are appreciated.
Comment from the blue pixel
This is the first time I have ever seen the use of the same two rhyming words, used in this way and you have made every couplet flow and work very well indeed. A most unusual idea in which you take us full circle from the beautiful aroma and scene of vanilla and the mantilla to the end in which both the fragrance of vanila and the lacy mantilla, meet their ends. I absolutely loved the way you took a fragrance and attached the word "silenced" to it and in doing so, you made the impossible, possible. The Blue Pixel
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2011
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This is the first time I have ever seen the use of the same two rhyming words, used in this way and you have made every couplet flow and work very well indeed. A most unusual idea in which you take us full circle from the beautiful aroma and scene of vanilla and the mantilla to the end in which both the fragrance of vanila and the lacy mantilla, meet their ends. I absolutely loved the way you took a fragrance and attached the word "silenced" to it and in doing so, you made the impossible, possible. The Blue Pixel
Comment Written 16-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2011
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Thank you for your detailed review. It was most imformative and very helpful. This just came into being one night; and then I worked at honing it. I had never seen this done either. I almost didn't post it. I'm glad i did. I appreciate your kind words. Thank you for taking the time to read my work.
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I admit to wondering what other people are making of what is quite a daring poem, technique wise. That it is beautiful in content, should not be disputed.xx :)
Comment from Yeti777
This was a very interesting style and format. I've not seen it used here... but that's not saying much as I've only been on this site three weeks. Great little piece that flows well. Sean
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2011
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This was a very interesting style and format. I've not seen it used here... but that's not saying much as I've only been on this site three weeks. Great little piece that flows well. Sean
Comment Written 16-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2011
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Sean, Thank you for you review. That's the nice thing about Fanstory.com; we can learn. I don't know that it fits any particular style....that's what I came up with, so I went with it. Welcome to the site.
Comment from Janeyjane
A very nice poem i enjoyed this one very much and i like the words that you have used to put
it together. The flow is good which makes it easy to read. Thanks for sharing !
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2011
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A very nice poem i enjoyed this one very much and i like the words that you have used to put
it together. The flow is good which makes it easy to read. Thanks for sharing !
Comment Written 16-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2011
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Thank you for you kind words. I am so glad you enjoyed it.
Comment from Ariandel
I loved the poem and the picture. Iliked the way you set the scene with mantilla, vanilla. It gave a very exotic background to the poem There are two things I would suggest you look at although they are not wrong. "spew" takes away the delicate beauty of the poem and is "silenced" the best word here. e.g. how do you silence a fragrance which is already silent.? Otherwise an excellent poem and very beautiful presentation of picture and writing
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2011
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I loved the poem and the picture. Iliked the way you set the scene with mantilla, vanilla. It gave a very exotic background to the poem There are two things I would suggest you look at although they are not wrong. "spew" takes away the delicate beauty of the poem and is "silenced" the best word here. e.g. how do you silence a fragrance which is already silent.? Otherwise an excellent poem and very beautiful presentation of picture and writing
Comment Written 15-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2011
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Thank you for your review and your constructive comments. This is how I learn to inprove my work. Your words are greatly appreciated. Thank you.
Comment from Blue Rew
This grabs attention right away with its repetitive end rhymes and the scent to texture exchange to heighten a reader's sensory connection to what is being said.
"As fragrant candles spews incense vanilla" needs a small edit at spew due to candles being a plural. This hints all the way through of sanctuary or grace. Vanilla is one of the major comfort scents. I'm still a bit indecisive as to whether interchanging mantilla and vanilla as the only end-line words is a definitive part of the sacred mood created or if it is a small distraction. I appreciate any write that opens me up to such inner debates. Blue
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reply by the author on 15-Jan-2011
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This grabs attention right away with its repetitive end rhymes and the scent to texture exchange to heighten a reader's sensory connection to what is being said.
"As fragrant candles spews incense vanilla" needs a small edit at spew due to candles being a plural. This hints all the way through of sanctuary or grace. Vanilla is one of the major comfort scents. I'm still a bit indecisive as to whether interchanging mantilla and vanilla as the only end-line words is a definitive part of the sacred mood created or if it is a small distraction. I appreciate any write that opens me up to such inner debates. Blue
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 15-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2011
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Thanks Blue for your detailed review. I appreciate you taking the time to read this work. Will attend to the editing. I too appreciate a work that opens a debate within my mind. Thank you.
Comment from Rdfrdmom2
oldefoggie:
The scent of vanilla is one of my all-time
favorite scents -- there is something that is
really pure about it. I like the way you tied
the scent to the mantilla -- thanks for sharing
love,
jan
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2011
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oldefoggie:
The scent of vanilla is one of my all-time
favorite scents -- there is something that is
really pure about it. I like the way you tied
the scent to the mantilla -- thanks for sharing
love,
jan
Comment Written 15-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2011
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Thank you for your kind words and taking the time to read this work.
