Grammy's Memoirs 2018
Viewing comments for Chapter 11 "I was born into a loving family"Bits and pieces of my life for my grandchildren
39 total reviews
Comment from fgohar
This is a story with a strong reality.Usually the girls are unwanted creature.Everyone in life wants love.And what is love? Love is the name of care some body pay for someone.This writing shows what kind of care one's want in life.mankind is in love with things,no body bothers for others.If all people love each other the world become paradise.At the end of the story reader feel sympathy with the writer.The writer wants to write and want to be appreciations and it costs no more.Love in life is great ,this is all.The structure of writing,what should be and what is in real ,is nice.This writing enforce to wish good things.It is a positive attitude to fight against difficulties of life by writing something.To write in such a good manner is catharsis .Its keep the brain healthy and in positive direction.Such fiction pay great role in society to keep healthy wealthy and wise.
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2011
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This is a story with a strong reality.Usually the girls are unwanted creature.Everyone in life wants love.And what is love? Love is the name of care some body pay for someone.This writing shows what kind of care one's want in life.mankind is in love with things,no body bothers for others.If all people love each other the world become paradise.At the end of the story reader feel sympathy with the writer.The writer wants to write and want to be appreciations and it costs no more.Love in life is great ,this is all.The structure of writing,what should be and what is in real ,is nice.This writing enforce to wish good things.It is a positive attitude to fight against difficulties of life by writing something.To write in such a good manner is catharsis .Its keep the brain healthy and in positive direction.Such fiction pay great role in society to keep healthy wealthy and wise.
Comment Written 14-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2011
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Thank you for reading, the generous review, and your heartfelt remarks. ~patty~
Comment from mumsyone
This is quite a different way of telling a story, but I like it. It is well-written, well-edited, and very interesting.
into believing he changed. (beleiving he had changed.)
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2011
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This is quite a different way of telling a story, but I like it. It is well-written, well-edited, and very interesting.
into believing he changed. (beleiving he had changed.)
Comment Written 14-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2011
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Thank you for reading and the generous review. ~patty~
Comment from Daylok
Good Flow, kept my interest through out the read. From a readers stand point Good job and I see no major changes needed-Daylok
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2011
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Good Flow, kept my interest through out the read. From a readers stand point Good job and I see no major changes needed-Daylok
Comment Written 14-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2011
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Thank you for reading and the generous review. I'm glad that the story was read and enjoyed by many - and the pain of her life was told. ~patty~
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It was an enjoyable read!!
Comment from Dave Sargeant
Never seen a story put quite like that before and I have read many. You bring the contrast out in a wonderful way, like an artist creating a painting, light and shaddow. Many adults can relate to your writing and the situation. Dave.
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2011
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Never seen a story put quite like that before and I have read many. You bring the contrast out in a wonderful way, like an artist creating a painting, light and shaddow. Many adults can relate to your writing and the situation. Dave.
Comment Written 14-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2011
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Thank you for reading and the generous review. I'm glad that the story was read and enjoyed by many - and the pain of her life was told. ~patty~
Comment from cheyennewy
Hi Patty,
This is such a sad tale of a little girl who never knew a family that loved her. I imagine writing ones feelins out can be very healing like a catharsis. The picture you chose is beautiful, is that you? A sad but very well written story and one I enjoyed from beginning to end. Blessings, chey
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2011
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Hi Patty,
This is such a sad tale of a little girl who never knew a family that loved her. I imagine writing ones feelins out can be very healing like a catharsis. The picture you chose is beautiful, is that you? A sad but very well written story and one I enjoyed from beginning to end. Blessings, chey
Comment Written 13-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2011
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Thank you for reading and the generous review. Yes, that is a picture of me when I was about 3 months old - so it was taken 52 years ago! Ouch! Jenny did get catharsis from writing, and she is healed now. ~patty~
Comment from Korton
Excellent story Patty. It is truly unfortunate that so many children in today's world have the life of the real Jenny, and so few have the life she would have liked for herself in a fantasy world. Very well done.
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2011
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Excellent story Patty. It is truly unfortunate that so many children in today's world have the life of the real Jenny, and so few have the life she would have liked for herself in a fantasy world. Very well done.
Comment Written 13-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2011
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Thank you so much for reading and the generous review. I can honestly say that Jenny found happiness at last. ~patty~
Comment from popoet
A very compelling and imaginative piece of work here. I loved the way you switched between the main character's reality and her "ideal" life that she wrote about in her story. The story was gripping and held my attention throughout. You described people realistically with all their flaws and weaknesses. Your story wisely shows how therapeutic, and revealing writing can be. It helped Jenny gain a lot if insight. Thank you for sharing.
My only suggestion:
"Dr. Peters prepared her that these were only the first baby steps of many strides on a long road."
The above first paragraph, last sentence needs re-writing, or punctuation, perhaps:
Dr. Peters had already prepared her; that these were only the first baby steps of many strides on a long road.
Just a tiny tweak.
P.S. --- endearing photo.
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2011
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A very compelling and imaginative piece of work here. I loved the way you switched between the main character's reality and her "ideal" life that she wrote about in her story. The story was gripping and held my attention throughout. You described people realistically with all their flaws and weaknesses. Your story wisely shows how therapeutic, and revealing writing can be. It helped Jenny gain a lot if insight. Thank you for sharing.
My only suggestion:
"Dr. Peters prepared her that these were only the first baby steps of many strides on a long road."
The above first paragraph, last sentence needs re-writing, or punctuation, perhaps:
Dr. Peters had already prepared her; that these were only the first baby steps of many strides on a long road.
Just a tiny tweak.
P.S. --- endearing photo.
Comment Written 12-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2011
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Thank you for reading, the generous review and your kind remarks. Your constructive critique, as always, is welcome, and I will go back and look at that sentence. ~patty~
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you're welcome.--deb
Comment from eliz100
This was an interesting read from beginning to end. I really enjoyed this particular writing style. You captured the dysfunctional family very realistically from the child's point of view.
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2011
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This was an interesting read from beginning to end. I really enjoyed this particular writing style. You captured the dysfunctional family very realistically from the child's point of view.
Comment Written 12-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2011
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Thank you for reading and your generous review. I appreciate your comments. ~patty~
Comment from The Stranger
Well Patty. What a tangled web we weave.Such angst in Jenny as she cannot share a rare moment of joy with her closest family
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2011
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Well Patty. What a tangled web we weave.Such angst in Jenny as she cannot share a rare moment of joy with her closest family
Comment Written 12-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2011
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Thank you for reading and the generous review. Are the people in the story really Jenny's closest family? I think she needs to make her own family. I can honestly say she is healed now. ~patty~
Comment from animatqua
I loved the juxtaposition of wishes and reality. This was, for the most part, very well done. The only thing I would change is this sentence: Dr. Peters prepared her that these were only the first baby steps of many strides on a long road.
It is awkward, and throws off a reader's involvement in the story. Maybe something like: Dr. Peters told her before she started the work that the story was only the first baby step. There would be many more strides on this long road of healing.
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2011
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I loved the juxtaposition of wishes and reality. This was, for the most part, very well done. The only thing I would change is this sentence: Dr. Peters prepared her that these were only the first baby steps of many strides on a long road.
It is awkward, and throws off a reader's involvement in the story. Maybe something like: Dr. Peters told her before she started the work that the story was only the first baby step. There would be many more strides on this long road of healing.
Comment Written 12-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2011
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Thank you for reading and the generous review; I appreciate your constructive critique, and I will go back and work on that sentence. ~patty~
