Another Pretty Face
Viewing comments for Chapter 32 "Chapter 14; part one"Can love survive small town gossip?
72 total reviews
Comment from Mustang Patty
As always, the story line is moving along well, and your use of dialogue is a great way to do that. I think Sara might be chasing shadows - it appears that things are just fine with Joe. (At least when it comes to how he feels about her.) Looking forward to the next chapter. ~patty~
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2011
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As always, the story line is moving along well, and your use of dialogue is a great way to do that. I think Sara might be chasing shadows - it appears that things are just fine with Joe. (At least when it comes to how he feels about her.) Looking forward to the next chapter. ~patty~
Comment Written 10-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2011
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from mumsyone
This is an interesting chapter, well-written and well-edited. The characters and the dialogue are comfortable and believable.
Joe waited beside car. (beside the car?)
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2011
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This is an interesting chapter, well-written and well-edited. The characters and the dialogue are comfortable and believable.
Joe waited beside car. (beside the car?)
Comment Written 10-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2011
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Thank you for the kind review. Thank you for catching that.
Comment from Gabriella 2
good
this is an interesting chapter and seems important to the storyline though i've not read the rest of the book. i can tell the rest of the book is good. your vocabulary and descriptions are great.
good job
Gabriella 2
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2011
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good
this is an interesting chapter and seems important to the storyline though i've not read the rest of the book. i can tell the rest of the book is good. your vocabulary and descriptions are great.
good job
Gabriella 2
Comment Written 10-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2011
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Ted T
Hi Barbara :)
Good chapter, well done dialogue. My take on Sara is that she's very insecure and yet Joe thinks she's the strongest woman he knows. It seems inconstant.
You use "toward" too many times close together in the top part of the chapter.
I believe "50%" should be spelled out -- "fifty percent."
Just a couple of "nits" so I left it a "fiver."
You've already got the ribbons anyway.
Ted
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2011
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Hi Barbara :)
Good chapter, well done dialogue. My take on Sara is that she's very insecure and yet Joe thinks she's the strongest woman he knows. It seems inconstant.
You use "toward" too many times close together in the top part of the chapter.
I believe "50%" should be spelled out -- "fifty percent."
Just a couple of "nits" so I left it a "fiver."
You've already got the ribbons anyway.
Ted
Comment Written 10-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2011
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I wondered about 50%, myslef. I have changed it back and forth. I will check the toward. Thank you for your review and eagle eye.
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You're welcome :)
Is the book ending now?
Ted
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getting close
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Looking forward to how you end the novel.
Comment from pugrpoems
It is a good story, for coming of age teenagers. I do not see any spam. It is written well, however it does not jump out at me as perfect or extraordinary. It is fine writing though. I do not see anything that would possibly help it! pugrpoems.
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2011
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It is a good story, for coming of age teenagers. I do not see any spam. It is written well, however it does not jump out at me as perfect or extraordinary. It is fine writing though. I do not see anything that would possibly help it! pugrpoems.
Comment Written 10-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2011
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Thank you for your kind review and encouragement.
Comment from Sarah_Goldwell
This was a really nice chapter, it came at just the right time after roller coaster of disasters. Good character development with Joe and Sarah in this one. Very enjoyable read x
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2011
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This was a really nice chapter, it came at just the right time after roller coaster of disasters. Good character development with Joe and Sarah in this one. Very enjoyable read x
Comment Written 10-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2011
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Thank you for your kind review and support.
Comment from bhogg
All you work flows smoothly. This one zipped. The dialog is absolutely natural and fluid, never forced. You know, I just think you're pretty good at this! Always warm regards, Bill
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2011
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All you work flows smoothly. This one zipped. The dialog is absolutely natural and fluid, never forced. You know, I just think you're pretty good at this! Always warm regards, Bill
Comment Written 10-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2011
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Paula Andrea Pyle
Compassion is not something one can fake, It's either there or it's not. In these lines the writer has saturated these lines in incomparable passion in compassion...
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2011
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Compassion is not something one can fake, It's either there or it's not. In these lines the writer has saturated these lines in incomparable passion in compassion...
Comment Written 10-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2011
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Thank you for your kind words.
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yes...
Comment from wiskas677@yandex.ru
Hello. I'm new to Fanstory so this is the first chapter of your story I've read, but I will try to go back and catch up. Boy, this is very well written. I could honestly find no mistakes. Wish I could say the same for my work. Thank you for sharing some of your health issues. I hope things work out well for you.
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2011
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Hello. I'm new to Fanstory so this is the first chapter of your story I've read, but I will try to go back and catch up. Boy, this is very well written. I could honestly find no mistakes. Wish I could say the same for my work. Thank you for sharing some of your health issues. I hope things work out well for you.
Comment Written 10-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2011
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Thank you for your kind review and WELCOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Comment from eliz100
This was a good read from beginning to end as usual. This chapter was upbeat and a nice break from all the previous tension. I look forward to the next chapter.
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2011
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This was a good read from beginning to end as usual. This chapter was upbeat and a nice break from all the previous tension. I look forward to the next chapter.
Comment Written 10-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2011
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Thank you for your kind review.
