Laura
Sonnet and literary study of a figure.9 total reviews
Comment from Kingsland
I didn't realize until I read you notes that this was written about a real person. This poem has a richly woven poetic verve with very good imagery. It was my pleasure to have read and written a reply for... John
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2011
  |
I didn't realize until I read you notes that this was written about a real person. This poem has a richly woven poetic verve with very good imagery. It was my pleasure to have read and written a reply for... John
Comment Written 07-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2011
-
I loved this review. The funny thing is I never did well with anyone named Laura. God has his humor about him. She was on two episodes of the show, "Oddities," and I feel she deserves a good poem her way. While this sonnet has it's fixes to be made, I am happy as well. I thank you very much for your compliments and this review. Mike
Comment from cheyennewy
Hi Mike,
I really enjoyed this poem and your author's notes were helpful. I had a little trouble in scanning some of the lines as iambic to be a sonnet. Please tell me if I am wrong. Like...QUIet OFFBEAT FEELings will be exTOLLED...tis the 'offbeat feelings' and beginning the line with a word where the stress is on the first syllable. Which occurs in lines 6 & 10, as well. Having said all that the lines do flow well even the ending couplet which doesn't rhyme. I am basing my thoughts on the English sonnet and maybe this one is not. Let me know if I am completely wrong!! chey
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2011
|
Hi Mike,
I really enjoyed this poem and your author's notes were helpful. I had a little trouble in scanning some of the lines as iambic to be a sonnet. Please tell me if I am wrong. Like...QUIet OFFBEAT FEELings will be exTOLLED...tis the 'offbeat feelings' and beginning the line with a word where the stress is on the first syllable. Which occurs in lines 6 & 10, as well. Having said all that the lines do flow well even the ending couplet which doesn't rhyme. I am basing my thoughts on the English sonnet and maybe this one is not. Let me know if I am completely wrong!! chey
Comment Written 07-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2011
-
No one has ever really helped me with ianbic pentamiter and most likely you are right. This sonnet is based on an Italian form. Tell you what, I am off to work for tonight and have a poetry discussion group tomorrow morning, but I will think about another word combination to make it more fitting ... Don't know what to do about extolled though.
Thank you very much for your compliments and this review. Mike
-
When I finally learned how to write in iambics I used this rule...the lines should go like this...low/HIGH/low/HIGH and so forth. Some say da/DUM/da/DUM but doing it like I do made it easier to understand. The word "estolled" was used right for the last word in that line it was the preceeding words that were my problem. A good topic for discussion in your poetry group....chey
-
They don't write... The group is like all groups, even here. The new guy gets put down so after several snubs, I started to freely comment until one asked how I can up with that, "Well I am a poetic writer myself and that is my main motivation." Had my fun and since then, two poems that I wrote before the meeting are in Poems of the World.
I will keep this review handy for when I can correct matters. Be kind to your web footed Iambs. THanks and have a great day! With love from Mike K ... 2.
-
Let me know if I can help when you write another sonnet. Which you should do. I about snatched myself bald when learning how to write a sonnet! I promise to be kind to web footed lambs! chey
Comment from Alexander E Poet
short and thoughtful, a picture would be good too,I think you did a good job with this, Excellent beautifully worded, fun to readthis remarkable piece.. Great talent. No typos and nothing to change as far as i can see. Alexander QQ.
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2011
|
short and thoughtful, a picture would be good too,I think you did a good job with this, Excellent beautifully worded, fun to readthis remarkable piece.. Great talent. No typos and nothing to change as far as i can see. Alexander QQ.
Comment Written 07-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2011
-
Well that fate rests in her hands, as since her photography is professional, everything is copyrighted and can't be used with out permission. I did reserve for her the honor and left the ball in her court, but I fear she is like the poetess here ... Unrequited. To me, sonnets are the most anal form of poetry devised, but with a lot of patience and conviction, one can produce great results. Alexaner, I thank you so very much for this rare review and the compliments. Mike
Comment from markk
Very well written and enjoyable piece which I feel is a wonderful tribute to an obviously beautiful woman. Well written and thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2011
|
Very well written and enjoyable piece which I feel is a wonderful tribute to an obviously beautiful woman. Well written and thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 07-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2011
-
Thank you very much for your compliments and this review. Mike
Comment from Paula Andrea Pyle
The poet has rendered an certain aristocratic feel and impeccable demeanor to these stately words penned. I can feel the precise motion embodied.
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2011
|
The poet has rendered an certain aristocratic feel and impeccable demeanor to these stately words penned. I can feel the precise motion embodied.
Comment Written 07-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2011
-
I thank you very much for your compliments and this review. This one made me blush. Mike
-
sure.
Comment from Dave Sargeant
I like this poem. Had to read twice before I could see where you were coming from but once it kicked in I was happy. A good work, an illustration, enlightenment, crossing the century/s. Dave.
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2011
|
I like this poem. Had to read twice before I could see where you were coming from but once it kicked in I was happy. A good work, an illustration, enlightenment, crossing the century/s. Dave.
Comment Written 07-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2011
-
Thank you very much for the compliments and this review. Mike
Comment from shariannegaylee
I got the gist of your overall meaning, and that was assisted by your notes at the bottom, as well, but I found, as a reader, the language as used, at times confusing. "Victorian accents show reserved shy" is one example. Maybe "Victorian accents make the bold shy" would be a better way to express? I'm just suggesting, but much of the poem is this way. Perhaps you intend it, but it does make it a harder "read." Believe "mould" is better spelled as "mold" as in "molded clay". I like that you want to pay tribute to a woman with a unique sense of style!
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2011
 |
I got the gist of your overall meaning, and that was assisted by your notes at the bottom, as well, but I found, as a reader, the language as used, at times confusing. "Victorian accents show reserved shy" is one example. Maybe "Victorian accents make the bold shy" would be a better way to express? I'm just suggesting, but much of the poem is this way. Perhaps you intend it, but it does make it a harder "read." Believe "mould" is better spelled as "mold" as in "molded clay". I like that you want to pay tribute to a woman with a unique sense of style!
Comment Written 07-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2011
-
I did an awful lot of dictionary work for this one, and my use of mould is correct to the definition, just a more antiquated spelling, which is something that I wanted. Your suggestion indicates the opposite of what I wanted to intend, as I wanted more of the Victorian style to more a costume notion, so to possibly help changed it to, "Victorian accents-show reserved shy." Thank you for reviewing this poem. Mike
Comment from CodyJack
A unique way to describe a figure like this. I enjoyed it and thought you put a lot into it and great imagery. Keep up the great writing like this. Your friend, Cody
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2011
|
A unique way to describe a figure like this. I enjoyed it and thought you put a lot into it and great imagery. Keep up the great writing like this. Your friend, Cody
Comment Written 07-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2011
-
This is only the second sonnet I did and reserved the first one to finish another work. Sonnets are a bit harder as the form is rigid with hard and fast rules to accomondate. I would call it the most anal form of poetry I have enountered to date, and that includes sestinas. I thang you very much for your compliments and this review. Mikr
Comment from Espresso momma
Laura is described as a very well carved woman with class of her time. Victorian was a good time of class in my opinion. Thank you for sharing that interesting poetry.
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2011
|
Laura is described as a very well carved woman with class of her time. Victorian was a good time of class in my opinion. Thank you for sharing that interesting poetry.
Comment Written 07-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2011
-
I appreciate this review and thank you for it and the compliments. Mike
