Bludgeon
for an Auschwitz survivor102 total reviews
Comment from marcellawachtel
I read your poem, I see that "Arbeit macht Frie" sign and my flesh crawls, to the rhythm of your poem, which also is a most effective bludgeon.
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2011
I read your poem, I see that "Arbeit macht Frie" sign and my flesh crawls, to the rhythm of your poem, which also is a most effective bludgeon.
Comment Written 06-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2011
-
I'm not sure if I should say thank you, Marcella. Wakening such dreadful memories and times. But I tried to do it with as much understanding and compassion as one can without actually experiencing the horrors. Thank you for reading this difficult treatise.
Comment from Minglement
It is like the man who complained he had no shoes til he met a man who had no feet. I see where all the darkness comes from in this poignant poem. I hope you can return to normal sleep patterns soon. Well done.
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2011
It is like the man who complained he had no shoes til he met a man who had no feet. I see where all the darkness comes from in this poignant poem. I hope you can return to normal sleep patterns soon. Well done.
Comment Written 06-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2011
-
Thank you, thank someone the darkness did not envelope us all.
-
Well said, well done and you're welcome. Marcia
Comment from cheyennewy
Hi Victor,
I know a Jewish man who survived Auschwitz by helping the Germans in their lab as they experimented on the Jews. I don't know how he could do it but he survived but the rest of his family did not. This is a gut wrenching poem and hard to read with a dry eye. The word bludgenon is perfect for the most sad poem. Well done....chey
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2011
Hi Victor,
I know a Jewish man who survived Auschwitz by helping the Germans in their lab as they experimented on the Jews. I don't know how he could do it but he survived but the rest of his family did not. This is a gut wrenching poem and hard to read with a dry eye. The word bludgenon is perfect for the most sad poem. Well done....chey
Comment Written 06-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2011
-
Thank you Chey. I needed the poem to hit hard. Maybe I have minorly succeeded if you felt that way.
Comment from popoet
A very sensitive and moving interpretation, which speaks, in a subtle way, of pain and hopelessness of a horrible time in history. The words were few, but powerful in their emotional expression. My suggestions would be to replace or drop the word "bludgeon" in some of the stanzas. Perhaps re-place with a different word with similar meaning. Also, the last line is too far removed from the rest of the poem.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2011
A very sensitive and moving interpretation, which speaks, in a subtle way, of pain and hopelessness of a horrible time in history. The words were few, but powerful in their emotional expression. My suggestions would be to replace or drop the word "bludgeon" in some of the stanzas. Perhaps re-place with a different word with similar meaning. Also, the last line is too far removed from the rest of the poem.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 06-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2011
-
I understand your concerns and they have validity. Unfortunately we are going to have to agree to disagree. But I still thank you for reading this.
Comment from Espresso momma
We don't get to hear much poetry or writings for that fact on Auschwitz. We should never ever forget lest we get too comfortable with ourselves. Bludgeon is a harsh name for a poem, but a just one. Thank you.
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2011
We don't get to hear much poetry or writings for that fact on Auschwitz. We should never ever forget lest we get too comfortable with ourselves. Bludgeon is a harsh name for a poem, but a just one. Thank you.
Comment Written 06-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2011
-
Tank you Expresso.
Comment from Charles Dale
Emotional pain? Auschwitz?
Wild flowers grow and domestic as well, all produced reminding the world where life ends and begins.
Awesome reminder what fascism brings.
Well written
Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2011
Emotional pain? Auschwitz?
Wild flowers grow and domestic as well, all produced reminding the world where life ends and begins.
Awesome reminder what fascism brings.
Well written
Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 06-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2011
-
Thank you for reading.
-
I am writing a WW 2 memoir at present and cover some of the Holocaust happenings.
Sholom
Comment from Rdfrdmom2
victortouche:
yes, sometimes I see or read about something that
will move me to the point I cannot sleep for a good
while -- some bring back childhood demons; some
seem to create new ones
thanks for sharing -- I am touched by your raw
emotion
love,
jan
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2011
victortouche:
yes, sometimes I see or read about something that
will move me to the point I cannot sleep for a good
while -- some bring back childhood demons; some
seem to create new ones
thanks for sharing -- I am touched by your raw
emotion
love,
jan
Comment Written 05-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2011
-
Thank you for reading this, Jan.
Comment from Checkmate13
awesome...powerful work produced with such a simplistic form and word count...excellent job...enjoyed reading...the feelings brought forth were tremendous...the sadness and cruelty of it all...kudos to you.
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2011
awesome...powerful work produced with such a simplistic form and word count...excellent job...enjoyed reading...the feelings brought forth were tremendous...the sadness and cruelty of it all...kudos to you.
Comment Written 05-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2011
-
A very nice supportive review. I thank you.
Comment from plum145
very interesting that when i looked up bludgeon on Wik... the crabree bludgeon is a weapon use against Occam's Razor so your poem can have multiple meanings...i'll have to think about that good job thank you
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2011
very interesting that when i looked up bludgeon on Wik... the crabree bludgeon is a weapon use against Occam's Razor so your poem can have multiple meanings...i'll have to think about that good job thank you
Comment Written 05-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2011
-
Thank you.
Comment from Gungalo
This is such a powerful write!!!
The repeats in it just drive
the point home fast. I
think your poetry
here is amazing
and so very
compassionate.
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2011
This is such a powerful write!!!
The repeats in it just drive
the point home fast. I
think your poetry
here is amazing
and so very
compassionate.
Comment Written 05-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2011
-
I was dearly hoping it would come across so. Thank you for reading this.
-
It did, Victor, it did.