Pet Stories
Viewing comments for Chapter 33 "Harley meets Simba and Leo"...musings on the pets I've had
87 total reviews
Comment from Bucketlist
Cats are a popular subject!! I enjoyed your amusing account of a another's arrival to 'blend in' I'm glad Harley got accepted ! I only have positives to say about your writing.
(So review characters have to be up to 150 yikes!) Thanks for sharing your kitty sargaš???
reply by the author on 19-May-2017
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Cats are a popular subject!! I enjoyed your amusing account of a another's arrival to 'blend in' I'm glad Harley got accepted ! I only have positives to say about your writing.
(So review characters have to be up to 150 yikes!) Thanks for sharing your kitty sargaš???
Comment Written 19-May-2017
reply by the author on 19-May-2017
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Hi Trisha; I'm glad you enjoyed this whimsical story about Harley's introduction to the household. Simba and Leo eventually accepted him - Simba, more than Leo - but they are all gone now, and they only exist in my stories. Thanks for reading,
~patty~
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That's always sad, because we get attached emotionally you're welcome
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That's always sad, because we get attached emotionally you're welcome
Comment from wondertwin
Great introduction of Harley! I haven't read any back/past stories, so this was fun to read on the first day of Harley coming home :) Blessings, AmyJo
reply by the author on 19-May-2017
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Great introduction of Harley! I haven't read any back/past stories, so this was fun to read on the first day of Harley coming home :) Blessings, AmyJo
Comment Written 18-May-2017
reply by the author on 19-May-2017
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Hi AmyJo; the chapters are being revived a bit out of order, and I'm editing some of the older stuff because my writing style has changed in the six and a half years since I first posted a few of them. Harley, Simba, Leo and the others have all 'crossed over the Rainbow bridge,' and Howie and Bernie are the dogs of my present.
I'm glad you enjoyed the story and I hope you will follow along,
~patty~
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Thanks for telling me Patty. I knew I'd only read of Bernie and Howie in recent adventures and knew you were re-posting and older one. Makes perfect sense to rewrite. Is it harder to rewrite now that they're on the other side of the rainbow? Even if, I know those sweet precious memories always remain :) Blessings, AJ
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I sometimes think it is harder to rewrite, but when I think of Simba and Harley - I have to smile. They were both such a big part of my life. ~p~
Comment from Vijay Kumar V
Wah, these are beautiful phrases, "He continually stared at her because he wasn't sure what to make of her. every time she looked at him, he looked away. The stub of his tail began to wag because it felt so good to be free!" A wonderful piece of prose. Have a great day. Namaste.
reply by the author on 18-May-2017
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Wah, these are beautiful phrases, "He continually stared at her because he wasn't sure what to make of her. every time she looked at him, he looked away. The stub of his tail began to wag because it felt so good to be free!" A wonderful piece of prose. Have a great day. Namaste.
Comment Written 18-May-2017
reply by the author on 18-May-2017
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Thank you for the lovely review. I'm glad you enjoyed the story.
~patty~
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Harley settled in with less fuss than expected. I guess canines are just less dignified. Simba established the pecking order right off, and didn't hurt the baby doing it. Good job my friend.
reply by the author on 18-May-2017
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Harley settled in with less fuss than expected. I guess canines are just less dignified. Simba established the pecking order right off, and didn't hurt the baby doing it. Good job my friend.
Comment Written 17-May-2017
reply by the author on 18-May-2017
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Hi Gypsy; thank you so much for reading along with my Pet Stories. I'm glad you are enjoying them,
~patty~
Comment from Jay Squires
Only an animal-lover can inject herself into the story's animal psyche, massaging the readers' imaginations throughout the story with such impressive authenticity.
She certainly wasn't a dog like him - but she did [The Em-dash in the U.S. has TWO DASHES, side-by-side, with NO space before or after. Some computers (mine included) combine the two dashes to one: "word--word". The reason it's called the EM dash is that they are roughly the width of an "M"]
He couldn't help himself, Harley let out a little whine. [This sentence creates a wonderful, heart-wrenching sense of sorrow.
Home meant warmth, his mother, and all of his littermates. [Patty, try reading this without the "of." It's not really necessary and, in my own writing, my goal is to trim away all the unnecessary fat. Anything that doesn't add something necessary to the meaning of the sentence gets plucked out. That said, it's not wrong; just an observation.]
Now might be a good time to share my mission as a reviewer:
My reviews comprise the running thoughts I have as I read. You'll find a blending of observations and suggestions along with possible corrections, if I find a grammatical or punctuational error. I will be doing here what I do with my own drafts: looking for ways to trim back unneeded verbiage, and to bring a fluidity to the post. When the reader's eyes start racing across the lines, the words should convey a picture cast on the screen of his/her imagination. The hopeful end-product (I rarely achieve but always aim at), is to have the reader finish his or her reading/viewing as a powerful, lasting experience. Kind of like the lights coming up in the theater and as he leaves, he feels he is somehow better than before the movie started.
The new face rescued him and brought him back to his mother! [His expectations set the reader up for his necessary disappointment.]
Suddenly, he could hear a low growl coming from the big black beast. [Almost always I opt for the simple active voice instead of the conditional: Suddenly, he HEARD, has more punch that "Suddenly, he could hear," where the "could" seems to battle the "Suddenly."]
She was humming and softly calling his name. She bent down and picked him up and cradled him in her arms. He gratefully licked the face he now knew was his pal. With a soft sigh, he cuddled in the crook of her arm, and quickly fell asleep. He would get those animals later. Right now, he just needed some shut-eye. [This left me with such a warm, comfortable feeling. Yes, you have a special affinity with animals, and because of that, I have a special affinity with Harley. Thank you, Patty.]
reply by the author on 17-May-2017
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Only an animal-lover can inject herself into the story's animal psyche, massaging the readers' imaginations throughout the story with such impressive authenticity.
She certainly wasn't a dog like him - but she did [The Em-dash in the U.S. has TWO DASHES, side-by-side, with NO space before or after. Some computers (mine included) combine the two dashes to one: "word--word". The reason it's called the EM dash is that they are roughly the width of an "M"]
He couldn't help himself, Harley let out a little whine. [This sentence creates a wonderful, heart-wrenching sense of sorrow.
Home meant warmth, his mother, and all of his littermates. [Patty, try reading this without the "of." It's not really necessary and, in my own writing, my goal is to trim away all the unnecessary fat. Anything that doesn't add something necessary to the meaning of the sentence gets plucked out. That said, it's not wrong; just an observation.]
Now might be a good time to share my mission as a reviewer:
My reviews comprise the running thoughts I have as I read. You'll find a blending of observations and suggestions along with possible corrections, if I find a grammatical or punctuational error. I will be doing here what I do with my own drafts: looking for ways to trim back unneeded verbiage, and to bring a fluidity to the post. When the reader's eyes start racing across the lines, the words should convey a picture cast on the screen of his/her imagination. The hopeful end-product (I rarely achieve but always aim at), is to have the reader finish his or her reading/viewing as a powerful, lasting experience. Kind of like the lights coming up in the theater and as he leaves, he feels he is somehow better than before the movie started.
The new face rescued him and brought him back to his mother! [His expectations set the reader up for his necessary disappointment.]
Suddenly, he could hear a low growl coming from the big black beast. [Almost always I opt for the simple active voice instead of the conditional: Suddenly, he HEARD, has more punch that "Suddenly, he could hear," where the "could" seems to battle the "Suddenly."]
She was humming and softly calling his name. She bent down and picked him up and cradled him in her arms. He gratefully licked the face he now knew was his pal. With a soft sigh, he cuddled in the crook of her arm, and quickly fell asleep. He would get those animals later. Right now, he just needed some shut-eye. [This left me with such a warm, comfortable feeling. Yes, you have a special affinity with animals, and because of that, I have a special affinity with Harley. Thank you, Patty.]
Comment Written 17-May-2017
reply by the author on 17-May-2017
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Hi Jay; thank you so much for your very thoughtful and thorough review of my work. I will go back and work on your suggested edits. I greatly appreciate the approach you take to reviewing and I am pleased that my work left you with a warm feeling about Harley - he was a wonderful little dog!
~patty~
ps - your reviewing style is one I would like to emulate
Comment from royowen
I liked this story from the dog's perspective, very clever, sometimes I've pondered of all the dogs and that have owned us, do they think like this? Certainly they are intelligent, and have a very instinctive wisdom sewn into their genes. Well done, Patty, excellent third person write, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 17-May-2017
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I liked this story from the dog's perspective, very clever, sometimes I've pondered of all the dogs and that have owned us, do they think like this? Certainly they are intelligent, and have a very instinctive wisdom sewn into their genes. Well done, Patty, excellent third person write, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 17-May-2017
reply by the author on 17-May-2017
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Hi Roy; thank you so much for your time to read and review. I would like to think that dogs and cats think this way - it makes me happy,
~patty~
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And why not, they have wonderful, individual personalities, and love us no matter what.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Aw, bless him. Cats can be very bullish when they want to, especially with new kids on the block! lol. I'm sure Harley will make friends, puppies like to play. When I introduced my kitten to our dog, she went straight up to him and cuddled into his fur and fell asleep. My dog, Sam, fell in love that instant, lol, it was so sweet, he became an adopted mum. Loved this story and will watch out for more. :) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 17-May-2017
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Aw, bless him. Cats can be very bullish when they want to, especially with new kids on the block! lol. I'm sure Harley will make friends, puppies like to play. When I introduced my kitten to our dog, she went straight up to him and cuddled into his fur and fell asleep. My dog, Sam, fell in love that instant, lol, it was so sweet, he became an adopted mum. Loved this story and will watch out for more. :) Sandra xx
Comment Written 17-May-2017
reply by the author on 17-May-2017
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Hi Sandra; thank you so much for reading and reviewing this piece. Harley was a very loving little puppy - he and Simba became good friends, but Leo never really trusted the little dog,
~patty~
Comment from XGoneX
Hi Patty,
You continue to do an excellent job in making you pets becoming characters and drawing the reader into their thoughts and lives. The expectation of the arrival was nicely done, and I couldn't help but feeling my heart warming for the little one as he opened to find his mother again.
I'm looking forward to see how he settles in among the other pets.
He wanted these new animals to know that he meant no harm - at least not yet. -- that was funny.
reply by the author on 17-May-2017
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Hi Patty,
You continue to do an excellent job in making you pets becoming characters and drawing the reader into their thoughts and lives. The expectation of the arrival was nicely done, and I couldn't help but feeling my heart warming for the little one as he opened to find his mother again.
I'm looking forward to see how he settles in among the other pets.
He wanted these new animals to know that he meant no harm - at least not yet. -- that was funny.
Comment Written 17-May-2017
reply by the author on 17-May-2017
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Hi; thank you so much for your warm review of this piece. Harley is the 'star' of several more chapters in the series. As I'm reviving these posts, I realize how much I miss these furry friends. Thank you for following along,
~patty~
Comment from Teri7
This is a very cute and delightful story about Harley! You used very cute and descriptive wording and imagery. I love the picture you used. Great job. Blessings, Teri
reply by the author on 17-May-2017
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This is a very cute and delightful story about Harley! You used very cute and descriptive wording and imagery. I love the picture you used. Great job. Blessings, Teri
Comment Written 16-May-2017
reply by the author on 17-May-2017
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Hi Teri; thank you so much for reading and reviewing this piece. As I revive these posts, I realize just how much I miss these furry friends. Look for Harley in more chapters to come,
~patty~
Comment from Marvin Calloway
You have a gift for writing the thoughts of an animal, making the impossible possible. You've captured the emotions and made them quite believable also.
Marv
reply by the author on 17-May-2017
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You have a gift for writing the thoughts of an animal, making the impossible possible. You've captured the emotions and made them quite believable also.
Marv
Comment Written 16-May-2017
reply by the author on 17-May-2017
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Hi Marv; thank you so much for stopping by to read and review. I'm glad you enjoy my animal stories,
~patty~
