Another Pretty Face
Viewing comments for Chapter 30 "Chapter 13; part one"Can love survive small town gossip?
74 total reviews
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
Another great chapter, well
presented, making it a pleasure
to read, Barbara. So sad that
Sara feels the way she does about
Joe - I hope they work it out.
Arrived home last night from Portugal,
and am just wading through the messages.
Hope you had a wonderful Christmas.
Margaret.
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2010
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Another great chapter, well
presented, making it a pleasure
to read, Barbara. So sad that
Sara feels the way she does about
Joe - I hope they work it out.
Arrived home last night from Portugal,
and am just wading through the messages.
Hope you had a wonderful Christmas.
Margaret.
Comment Written 28-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2010
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I hope you had a great time in Portugal. It's a beautiful country, although I haven't been there for 40 years.
Comment from Scornwell
This is as well written as I have come to expect. Your characters remain strong and the dialog sounded natural and seemed appropriate for the characters.
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2010
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This is as well written as I have come to expect. Your characters remain strong and the dialog sounded natural and seemed appropriate for the characters.
Comment Written 28-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2010
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from markk
A sad turn to this story where it seemed the love between Sara and Joe was quite intact the whole way along. I am interested to see how this works out.
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2010
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A sad turn to this story where it seemed the love between Sara and Joe was quite intact the whole way along. I am interested to see how this works out.
Comment Written 28-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2010
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from L.lora
Task Force." Matt walked over Cassie's bed, and Sara added,
An excellent post which
vividly details how someone
can get a wrong idea and
not be able to see beyond it.
Sara is saying what she feels
but not asking the outright
questions she needs to ask that
will ease her fears and Joe be
tired and in the male set of mind
isn't volunteering anything that
will ease her fears. Your scenes
and dialogue are very realistic.
This is an excellent study in
character personna--a very good
read. Lora
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2010
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Task Force." Matt walked over Cassie's bed, and Sara added,
An excellent post which
vividly details how someone
can get a wrong idea and
not be able to see beyond it.
Sara is saying what she feels
but not asking the outright
questions she needs to ask that
will ease her fears and Joe be
tired and in the male set of mind
isn't volunteering anything that
will ease her fears. Your scenes
and dialogue are very realistic.
This is an excellent study in
character personna--a very good
read. Lora
Comment Written 28-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2010
-
Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from misscookie
Very interesting chapter I could found no dull moments here. You had my attention fron the first word to the last word.
this is a good write.
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2010
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Very interesting chapter I could found no dull moments here. You had my attention fron the first word to the last word.
this is a good write.
Comment Written 28-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2010
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Thank you for your kind review.
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Your very welcome.
Comment from Auroraboreal800
Hi Barbara!
This well written story is full of action and excitements. I loved the natural tone of the dialogues... This chapter had a lot of good points in it.
Please, keep calm, we can wait until you feel better...
God bless you my dear friend,
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2010
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Hi Barbara!
This well written story is full of action and excitements. I loved the natural tone of the dialogues... This chapter had a lot of good points in it.
Please, keep calm, we can wait until you feel better...
God bless you my dear friend,
Comment Written 28-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2010
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Thank you for your kind review and support.
Comment from dmjones
I thought the flow was good. The chapter as a whole is excellent. I like the tension you created in Joe and Sara but I hope it doesn't last long. Warm regards, Donna
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2010
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I thought the flow was good. The chapter as a whole is excellent. I like the tension you created in Joe and Sara but I hope it doesn't last long. Warm regards, Donna
Comment Written 28-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2010
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Thank you for your kind review and support.
Comment from Mustang Patty
It is always tragic when love falls apart. It seems that there are a multitude of mixed signals, and missed opportunities to mend things, along with life's misunderstandings in this sad story. I'm hoping things get better in the next chapter - it seems these people need to be together. Well done. The edits seem fine. ~patty~
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2010
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It is always tragic when love falls apart. It seems that there are a multitude of mixed signals, and missed opportunities to mend things, along with life's misunderstandings in this sad story. I'm hoping things get better in the next chapter - it seems these people need to be together. Well done. The edits seem fine. ~patty~
Comment Written 28-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2010
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Readywriter52
Cassie is home safely. Sara should be happy, but instead she seems to be picking a fight with Joe. Something has her scared. Maybe she's worried that his influence on Cassie won't be good for her.
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2010
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Cassie is home safely. Sara should be happy, but instead she seems to be picking a fight with Joe. Something has her scared. Maybe she's worried that his influence on Cassie won't be good for her.
Comment Written 28-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2010
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We shall wait and see if Joe and Sara can work things out. Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Ted T
Hi Barbara :)
Okay, you have all the elements for a good chapter, but there are "nits." Too many "as" words, too many name repeats and too many "all right" comments.
I caught Joe reaffirming his commitment to Sara twice close together.
Sara's questioning Joe's persona and their relationship doesn't seem right. He would obviously be a different man than the "Joe" she knew back when. It makes her seem a bit naive.
After all Sara's been through with Joe she suddenly thinks it's best if they just say goodbye? It doesn't seem to hold water. She's saying Joe has become a bad man? He just saved her daughter's life and two other girls from hell and safely returned Cassie. You need to rethink this turn of events.
You're getting ready to close what could be a good book, make it believable.
Ted
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2010
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Hi Barbara :)
Okay, you have all the elements for a good chapter, but there are "nits." Too many "as" words, too many name repeats and too many "all right" comments.
I caught Joe reaffirming his commitment to Sara twice close together.
Sara's questioning Joe's persona and their relationship doesn't seem right. He would obviously be a different man than the "Joe" she knew back when. It makes her seem a bit naive.
After all Sara's been through with Joe she suddenly thinks it's best if they just say goodbye? It doesn't seem to hold water. She's saying Joe has become a bad man? He just saved her daughter's life and two other girls from hell and safely returned Cassie. You need to rethink this turn of events.
You're getting ready to close what could be a good book, make it believable.
Ted
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 28-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2010
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I think Sara is scared of a committment and is pulling out all the stops to make her fear seem valid, at least to her. Thank you for your review.
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Okay :)
Keep at it.
