The Box
You never walk alone48 total reviews
Comment from fairydancer
I love this story! It is so well written and made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up!
Brilliant entry, best of luck - Cally :)
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2010
  |
I love this story! It is so well written and made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up!
Brilliant entry, best of luck - Cally :)
Comment Written 16-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2010
-
Thank you very much for your gracious and greatly appreciated 6 stars. I am thrilled you liked this one.
Comment from shariannegaylee
This is such a sweet farewell, very poignant. The only thing I would change about it is in the beginning paragraph where you write, "PLACED several feet...when PLACING a card..." I suggest "Several feet from the door, its placement...when depositing..." Great story!
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2010
 |
This is such a sweet farewell, very poignant. The only thing I would change about it is in the beginning paragraph where you write, "PLACED several feet...when PLACING a card..." I suggest "Several feet from the door, its placement...when depositing..." Great story!
Comment Written 16-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2010
-
Thanks for the correction. I sincerely appreciate it and am thrilled you enjoyed this story.
Comment from WRITER1
A tender and sweet little tale. If only we all could go that easily. I could see this man reading those letters as each person come to him.
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2010
|
A tender and sweet little tale. If only we all could go that easily. I could see this man reading those letters as each person come to him.
Comment Written 16-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2010
-
I agree, it would be wonderful if this is what we could each experience. I am pleased you enjoyed this.
Comment from Jnetgame
Very powerful entry for the Christmas Box writing prompt. I could visualize the parishiors and his family appearing before him. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2010
|
Very powerful entry for the Christmas Box writing prompt. I could visualize the parishiors and his family appearing before him. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 16-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2010
-
Thank you very much. I am pleased you enjoyed this one.
Comment from Soledadpaz
An absolutely mesmerizing tale. You don't even notice there is no dialogue, the writer is telling you a story and you are listening enthralled. What a happy ending, he is surrounded and escorted into the next phase of his existence by people he knew who loved and revered him.
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2010
|
An absolutely mesmerizing tale. You don't even notice there is no dialogue, the writer is telling you a story and you are listening enthralled. What a happy ending, he is surrounded and escorted into the next phase of his existence by people he knew who loved and revered him.
Comment Written 16-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2010
-
Thank you very much for your enthusiastic review. I am very pleased you enjoyed this one.
Comment from Matoshka
This was so beautiful and tender. I could see him pick the box up, go sit in the back pew. It was just wonderful how all of his people from his church came to escort him home. This gave me the shivers. So beautiful Blessings and good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2010
|
This was so beautiful and tender. I could see him pick the box up, go sit in the back pew. It was just wonderful how all of his people from his church came to escort him home. This gave me the shivers. So beautiful Blessings and good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 16-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2010
-
Thank you, I am very pleased you enjoyed this one.
-
You are so very welcome, it was a joy. Blessings.
Comment from geoniasha
This is a beautiful and heart-wrenching story. Father McDougal had been the spiritual leader to so many for so long and on his last day, his final mass, his time on earth was complete. How fitting that he should be escorted on his next journey by those parishioners he had cared for so lovingly throughout his sixty years as priest; how fitting that he should close his eyes for the last time in the place that he loved. Although the story ends with his death, the presence of so many caring friends lends a cheerful tone to this well-written story. Thank you for sharing and best wishes with your entry. geo
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2010
|
This is a beautiful and heart-wrenching story. Father McDougal had been the spiritual leader to so many for so long and on his last day, his final mass, his time on earth was complete. How fitting that he should be escorted on his next journey by those parishioners he had cared for so lovingly throughout his sixty years as priest; how fitting that he should close his eyes for the last time in the place that he loved. Although the story ends with his death, the presence of so many caring friends lends a cheerful tone to this well-written story. Thank you for sharing and best wishes with your entry. geo
Comment Written 16-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2010
-
Thank you very much. I am pleased you enjoyed this one.
Comment from Tellis
I really liked this one and you have a wonderful way with words. I wish I had a sixer to give you so here's a virtual one. ******
Tellis
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2010
|
I really liked this one and you have a wonderful way with words. I wish I had a sixer to give you so here's a virtual one. ******
Tellis
Comment Written 16-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2010
-
Thanks for the virtual 6 but a 5 is just a lovely. I am pleased you enjoyed this one.
Comment from Realist101
Hi Sasha! What a great story! I hope it will be this way when we go...if only. I saw one thing that you may want to change? In the fifth paragraph, with the sentence beginning with "A moment of fear..." I would use the word "him" rather than "Father?" I am always told not to use the same word often and close? But this is very well done, a joy to read my friend...xoxo. Susan
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2010
|
Hi Sasha! What a great story! I hope it will be this way when we go...if only. I saw one thing that you may want to change? In the fifth paragraph, with the sentence beginning with "A moment of fear..." I would use the word "him" rather than "Father?" I am always told not to use the same word often and close? But this is very well done, a joy to read my friend...xoxo. Susan
Comment Written 16-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2010
-
I agree, but alas...it is too late to change. After the contest I will fix it. I am very happy you enjoyed this one/
Comment from Kateb
This is a lovely story and a bit of a tear jerker! I imagine that when a priest retires from active duty he is a loose end for some time. this priest's reminiscences turned in to joining his departed parisioners. Good work!
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2010
|
This is a lovely story and a bit of a tear jerker! I imagine that when a priest retires from active duty he is a loose end for some time. this priest's reminiscences turned in to joining his departed parisioners. Good work!
Comment Written 16-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2010
-
Thank you very much. I a pleased you liked this one.
