Comment from R. J. Stewart

Good

It started off well but I took a step back from the 4th line: "He will run to the death." What good emotions I felt before then lagged with the other paragraphs. The 4th line brought a negative view to the piece while all other lines brought a positive view. It was a strange contrast, and to me, the negative view played out stronger with one line than all the positive lines encompassed as it continued.

 Comment Written 03-Dec-2010

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reply by the author on 04-Dec-2010

Thank you for reading and your thoughtful review. I wasn't really doing anything except a 'free form/verse poem,' and I have FINALLY gotten a book I ordered about writing poetry. I WAS an accomplished poet when I was in high school, and then in my first years of college, but that was eons ago!! I ordered a poetry book to remind me and re-teach me about meter, and all of the forms of poetry that I've never been familiar with. I probably will not edit this poem, however, your constructive criticism will be taken into account on any future poems - THANK YOU, I do appreciate your thoughtful approach to reviewing. ~patty~

Comment from MS Writer

Excellent

HOw about Bandit for a name. Loved those eyes. Great poem with good visuals. Good flow and rhyme. You can sense your excitement in the way you have written. Love the portrayal of the pup.

 Comment Written 03-Dec-2010

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reply by the author on 03-Dec-2010

Thank you for reading and the generous review. I think Bandit is a good name, too. Another site member suggested 'Writer,' and then there was 'Will' as in William Shakespeare. My husband is leaving towards those. Thank you so much for reading and the generous review. ~patty~

Comment from Alexander E Poet

Excellent

I thought this was creative, insightful,Il love the puppy very cute I thought this piece had good flow very well with an interesting message. I thought this was passionate heartfelt Well done No errors no mistakes, Alexander

 Comment Written 03-Dec-2010

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reply by the author on 03-Dec-2010

Thank you so much for reading and the generous review. I'm so glad that this story was well accepted. I'm sure you all will be hearing a lot about this little guy! ~patty~

Comment from The Wood Work

Excellent

I think that it's fine that you've just wrote with joy in your heart. Sometimes structure doesn't count. Sweet lil write and good luck with your puppy. I've never met a puppy that didn't have that pepper breath. I like it.

 Comment Written 03-Dec-2010

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reply by the author on 03-Dec-2010

Thank you for the generous review - puppies can be fun, a lot of work, and so much JOY! I'm glad you enjoyed my expression of happiness and excitement! ~patty~

Comment from anabellapongasi

Excellent

Hi there,
This is a lovely poem filled with puppy love! I enjoyed reading it. Well I share in your joy and excitement in having a new puppy. Puppies are so irresistibly lovable. I'm sure you and your puppy will have lots of fun and loving moments. (If you like a "foreign" name for your puppy how about "Mahal" It means love/ beloved/sweetheart in Filipino) :)
Anabella

 Comment Written 03-Dec-2010

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reply by the author on 03-Dec-2010

Thank you for reading and your generous review. I would love to give the puppy an original, unique name, but his kennel name is 'Will', and a fellow writer on the site had suggested either 'Writer' or use 'Will' for William Shakespeare. My husband really likes 'Will,' and I'm pretty sure that's how it will go. After all, I got to pick the puppy! Thank you so much for your kind words and thoughts. ~patty~

Comment from azwildrosa

Excellent

this is a cute one, and the picture is perfect. i'm sorry i'm not able to help you with the name. for me that's always something done while i'm holding 'em. you happiness shows in your poem and your authors notes. what a great day to share a smile. thank you.

 Comment Written 03-Dec-2010

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reply by the author on 03-Dec-2010

Thank you for reading and the generous review. Buster, the most recent suggestion from a fellow writer sounds like a good name - he definitely has that look about him! I think my husband is really pushing for Will after William Shakespeare. Dec 18th cannot come fast enough! ~patty~

Comment from percival86jack

Excellent

Love this line... "Terrible puppy breath" Hope you realize, you are committing yourself to fifteen or twenty years of dog walking and cleaning up after him/her... but there's probably no greater joy in life! Love and hugs, Jack xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 Comment Written 03-Dec-2010

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reply by the author on 03-Dec-2010

Thank you for reading and the generous review. Buster, a recent suggestion from a fellow writer, sounds like a good name - he definitely has that look about him! I think my husband is really pushing for Will after William Shakespeare. Dec 18th cannot come fast enough! ~patty~

Comment from sgalletti

Excellent

Hello Mustang Patty! He looks like a Jack Russell Terrier??? He's the cutest thing since 7-up! I'm so happy for you. I will never forget the day I finally found my golden retriever Beaux Jack who lived 16 years and is now deceased. Enjoy every day with your new baby. Sue

 Comment Written 03-Dec-2010

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reply by the author on 03-Dec-2010

Thank you for reading and the generous review. Buster, a recent suggestion from a fellow writer, sounds like a good name - he definitely has that look about him! I think my husband is really pushing for Will after William Shakespeare. Dec 18th cannot come fast enough! ~patty~

Comment from Ritsal

Excellent

Your puppy is precious and your poem reflects the excitement in your heart over finding such a little bundle of joy. I believe he looks like a Buster. :)

Best wishes and good luck with your puppy.
Rita

 Comment Written 03-Dec-2010

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reply by the author on 03-Dec-2010

Thank you for reading and the generous review. Buster sounds like a good name - he definitely has that look about him! Dec 18th cannot come fast enough! ~patty~

Comment from closetpoetjester

Good

Hey Patty,
Cute little poem and your heart is simply singing. I am sorry to give a four and I hate giving them but I don't do fluff reviews and want to help if I can.
I didn't mind the stretching of the rhymes...a good reader can run with that. I just thought your second stanza with the fifth line threw the read a little...the content was pretty good and I think with a tiny tweak this could be great. In your second stanza and this is only a suggestion for a smoother read and without changing your content around too much maybe this:
"Pink little tongue
Licking to show love
Just a few pounds
Energy knows no bounds"
By combining those last two lines into one you are now back to four lines and the content has not really changed any...with a tweak or two I would be happy to re read and re rate but I just think it needs a little polish.
Again, I rarely give fours and hate doing it but I have to be honest. Other than that I think your content is perfect about a new addition to your family, smelly breath and all and you are just bursting with so much love for him you need to shout it out from the rooftops. I can't blame you, he is kinda cute. Good for you.
Cheers closet xo

 Comment Written 03-Dec-2010

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reply by the author on 03-Dec-2010

Thank you for reading. As I look at your review, I'm reworking the poem - its back into Word, and I'm playing with the few stanzas that have given everyone the most trouble. I DO appreciate your honest review, suggestions, and feedback. I will repost within a few hours. Is it okay if I send you a message when I've done so? Thanks, ~patty~

reply by closetpoetjester on 03-Dec-2010

Absolutely honey...pm me and I will re read and gladly re rate...sorry again about the four, I despise giving them but I felt it needed the tiniest tweak.
Cheers closet xo