Climbing Capitan
Facing El Capitan30 total reviews
Comment from Carrie Smith
Hey sweet lady. I felt like I was climbing that mountain with you. You have described a true nightmare. The ending of two lives that began with such promise. Great job...LOL Susan
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2010
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Hey sweet lady. I felt like I was climbing that mountain with you. You have described a true nightmare. The ending of two lives that began with such promise. Great job...LOL Susan
Comment Written 30-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2010
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HI Susan! Thank you so much. I really appreciate your reviewing this for me! I will make an attempt to call you tonight? If you are up. I hope you are better!! xoxo. Susan
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You're so welcome,girl. Do try and call - about 12? I'll be off line then. LOL
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I will! I just posted my assignment for FF class. I fell asleep and forgot about it! GOD, I a tired. ") I will call. ") S.
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Okay, but don't worry if you are too tired lol
Comment from anne1204
Very nicely written micro flash fiction. You have been writing several lately and they are just getting better and better. This is also sad. I am glad it is fiction. Anne 1204
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2010
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Very nicely written micro flash fiction. You have been writing several lately and they are just getting better and better. This is also sad. I am glad it is fiction. Anne 1204
Comment Written 30-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2010
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Hi Anne! See? My best fan. Thank you dear, you are the kindest and most faithful fan...I am always happy to see you so enthusiastic with something I try to do. This has really happened , tho not to me personally. This mountain is a horrible challenge that I would never try. For any amount of money, even if I were young. Thank you Anne. Susan
Comment from BethShelby
I can't imagine living that much on the edge when something can take you life at a moment's notice. This is well written and I see it is more of a metaphor for how suddenly things change. I guess all of us live on the edge because nothing in this life is sure. We're all just a heartbeat away from everything changing forever.
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2010
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I can't imagine living that much on the edge when something can take you life at a moment's notice. This is well written and I see it is more of a metaphor for how suddenly things change. I guess all of us live on the edge because nothing in this life is sure. We're all just a heartbeat away from everything changing forever.
Comment Written 30-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2010
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Hi Beth! Thank you so much!! I appreciate you always being here for me, your encouraging reviews help keep me trying! HUGS! Susan
Comment from writer c
Very sad story, and the grief is palpable, Susan. There are comma problems, but these can be fixed easily. I agree with some of your other reviewers that the story ends better with the narrator's husband gone as a falling speck.
Your stories always have very immediate emotion, and I admire that. I share your sadness as you honor our mutual fanfriend.
Carol
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2010
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Very sad story, and the grief is palpable, Susan. There are comma problems, but these can be fixed easily. I agree with some of your other reviewers that the story ends better with the narrator's husband gone as a falling speck.
Your stories always have very immediate emotion, and I admire that. I share your sadness as you honor our mutual fanfriend.
Carol
Comment Written 30-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2010
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Hi Carol! Thank you very much. So you know who it is? I sure miss his candid critiques, he was knowledgable and always so helpful...a loss to the site. "( Thanks again Carol...Susan
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written with good form and good flow, a great job writing this short story. a sad tale of new love falling off the cliff. who is leaving fanstory?
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2010
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this is very well written with good form and good flow, a great job writing this short story. a sad tale of new love falling off the cliff. who is leaving fanstory?
Comment Written 30-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2010
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Hi Sweet! Did you ever read E.P. Thomas' work? He was so good at flash, and a wonderful helper to all...sure is sad without him. And thank you so much for a truly kind and welcome review of this...hug! Susan
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did he quit or what?
Comment from Kathryn Varuzza
Susan,
This made me say Wow!
Powerful.
Heartfelt.
Good descriptions.
Good piece of flash fiction.
Good image too.
Great, though sad ending.
Katie
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2010
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Susan,
This made me say Wow!
Powerful.
Heartfelt.
Good descriptions.
Good piece of flash fiction.
Good image too.
Great, though sad ending.
Katie
Comment Written 30-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2010
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Hi Katie! Thank you so much! Such enthusiasm really helps...what a joy...I really appreciate! HUGS! Susan
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susan, you're welcome.
hugs,
katie
Comment from sugardog
Nice job, Susan! This was a real cliff hanger...a sad one. I don't like change and I lost a friend here too, and it is sad to see them go. I enjoyed this story and you did a great job with the metaphor. I think you could end it with the third line up-very powerful line. Sorry, I am not able to review so much lately due to working in the Christmas trees-been thinking of you though and wanted to read something by you :) Take care, Dana P.S. You still owe me a letter...?? :)
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2010
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Nice job, Susan! This was a real cliff hanger...a sad one. I don't like change and I lost a friend here too, and it is sad to see them go. I enjoyed this story and you did a great job with the metaphor. I think you could end it with the third line up-very powerful line. Sorry, I am not able to review so much lately due to working in the Christmas trees-been thinking of you though and wanted to read something by you :) Take care, Dana P.S. You still owe me a letter...?? :)
Comment Written 30-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2010
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YES! I do, and it is written, I wanted to send the pix too, and havn't had time to get them developed, I will asap...I have not forgotten you Dana! I'm either so tired I could drop, or busy with bs...I'm thrilled you liked this story and thank you for a wonderful review my friend! I will think about the end too, good thoughts! I appreciate it! I hope you sell all your trees! ") HUG!! Susan
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You're welcome!! I will look forward to pics and a letter-whenever-no worries :) Dana
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") HUG! S.
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") HUG! S.
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") HUG! S.
Comment from Begin Again
Susan,
Terrific and ppowerful story..especially when one realizes the emotions are a metaphor for losing someone you care about in any situation. Really good work...
HUgs and smiles, Carol
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2010
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Susan,
Terrific and ppowerful story..especially when one realizes the emotions are a metaphor for losing someone you care about in any situation. Really good work...
HUgs and smiles, Carol
Comment Written 30-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2010
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Hi Carol~ how are you?? I hope better, and your hubby too. Thank you for reading this for me? It's always so nice to hear from you...your thoughts mean a lot to me! HUGS too! Susan
Comment from BarnCat
Hey, Susan -- Excellent movement in this story. Just enough detail to allow readers to fill in the backstory. Think about where the impact of the story really ends. For me, the final two paragraghs are not really needed, and lessen the imact of the paragraph before. Think about the difference if you ended with:
There is no warning; no word spoken. My new husband is there one second and gone the next. There is nothing but a small ripping sound. When I dare to look, he is already a speck: falling. Then, gone.
Good work, and it is a pleasure to read your work. D
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2010
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Hey, Susan -- Excellent movement in this story. Just enough detail to allow readers to fill in the backstory. Think about where the impact of the story really ends. For me, the final two paragraghs are not really needed, and lessen the imact of the paragraph before. Think about the difference if you ended with:
There is no warning; no word spoken. My new husband is there one second and gone the next. There is nothing but a small ripping sound. When I dare to look, he is already a speck: falling. Then, gone.
Good work, and it is a pleasure to read your work. D
Comment Written 30-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2010
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Hi again! I like your ending too! It has the needed finality. If I have time I will try to work on it. So much going at once. Thank you again Deb, your input is important to me!! ") Smiles and a hug! Susan
Comment from Judy Swanson
Jeepers! What an enchanting, and then sad, tale. I'm so glad you said it was fiction! But - that it was also a metaphor for losing a FanFriend made me sad.
The story is very well written - good flow, great imagery. Love the eagle - and the sweat! The warm air washing off the face of the cliff made me break out in a misty sweat too.
Good work.
Judy
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2010
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Jeepers! What an enchanting, and then sad, tale. I'm so glad you said it was fiction! But - that it was also a metaphor for losing a FanFriend made me sad.
The story is very well written - good flow, great imagery. Love the eagle - and the sweat! The warm air washing off the face of the cliff made me break out in a misty sweat too.
Good work.
Judy
Comment Written 30-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2010
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Hi Judy! Thank you so much! Do you remember E.P. Thomas? He left, to do other things. Such a good helper and nice too. Seems we make friends, and then they are just gone. SO sad. Thank you for this kind review Judy! xoxo. Susan
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No, I guess i never connected with EP Thomas. So sorry he left - since you feel the void. Really too bad he can't see your lovely poem! Judy
