Another Pretty Face
Viewing comments for Chapter 26 "Chapter 11; part two"Can love survive small town gossip?
92 total reviews
Comment from Revamay
The chapter was short and the serious problem was resolved. I liked it. The dialogue was believable but not unique. I would like to have seen the characters brought more to life. All in all I found it interesting.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2010
   |
The chapter was short and the serious problem was resolved. I liked it. The dialogue was believable but not unique. I would like to have seen the characters brought more to life. All in all I found it interesting.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 28-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2010
-
I see I am your first review. Thank you.
-
I see I am your first review on FS. Usually when you give anything less than five stars you offer suggestions so the author can improve their writting. I see no suggestions offered. I don't know what to do differently to get five stars from you.
-
I think you have to individualize your characters by giving them different physical features, or mannerisms, or unusual personalities.
-
I did all of that when I slowly developed each character in the beginning chapters. I should not have to do that in chapter 11. If I did it in each chapter the book would never end.
Comment from Max Edon
I thought that this chapter was exciting and interesting. It was fast paced and full of action and romance. I enjoyed every word of this.
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2010
|
I thought that this chapter was exciting and interesting. It was fast paced and full of action and romance. I enjoyed every word of this.
Comment Written 28-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2010
-
Thank you for your kind review.
-
You are welcome!
Comment from sidone
your story speaks clearly it got good details,it got good explanation,keep up the good work,a pleasure to read,good luck and god bless
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2010
|
your story speaks clearly it got good details,it got good explanation,keep up the good work,a pleasure to read,good luck and god bless
Comment Written 28-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2010
-
Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from KayteeF
Hello Barbara, great to read this next enthralling chapter of the story of Cassie's kidnap, and Sara's feelings for Joe.. Another chase for the team leaves Sara and Joe's relationship on hold once again.
Once again we are left waiting to see how things are going to develop.
Clever writing keeps us on edge. Great work.
I am so glad to hear you have got through the third chemo session. Thinking of you daily. When is your next session.
Cathleen
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2010
|
Hello Barbara, great to read this next enthralling chapter of the story of Cassie's kidnap, and Sara's feelings for Joe.. Another chase for the team leaves Sara and Joe's relationship on hold once again.
Once again we are left waiting to see how things are going to develop.
Clever writing keeps us on edge. Great work.
I am so glad to hear you have got through the third chemo session. Thinking of you daily. When is your next session.
Cathleen
Comment Written 28-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2010
-
Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Gabriella 2
wow
this chapter was very intense.
it held me from the first paragraph to the very last word.
i couldn't find any grammar mistakes- I usually do in stories- good job
Gabriella 2
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2010
|
wow
this chapter was very intense.
it held me from the first paragraph to the very last word.
i couldn't find any grammar mistakes- I usually do in stories- good job
Gabriella 2
Comment Written 28-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2010
-
Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Auroraboreal800
I'm so glad with the good news about surviving the round three of chemotherapy, Thanks God!
The story is getting better in each chapter. I like the romance as well as the intrigue... The dialogue is excellent. I am looking forward to reading more,
Please take care Barbara, God bless you,
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2010
|
I'm so glad with the good news about surviving the round three of chemotherapy, Thanks God!
The story is getting better in each chapter. I like the romance as well as the intrigue... The dialogue is excellent. I am looking forward to reading more,
Please take care Barbara, God bless you,
Comment Written 28-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2010
-
Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written with good form and good flow, a great job writing this chapter, a detailed informational chapter that shows how sick people can be to watch stuff like that.
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2010
|
this is very well written with good form and good flow, a great job writing this chapter, a detailed informational chapter that shows how sick people can be to watch stuff like that.
Comment Written 28-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2010
-
Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from adewpearl
Barbara, First things first - hurray for surviving round three :-)
Boy, the story is heating up. You depict the danger Cassie is in extremely well - I can just feel Sara's fears, Joe's frustrations and guilt, the sense of urgency in his team - and these people are so real to me that I cringe at the thought of how Cassie must be feeling. Excellent dialogue between Joe and Sara, so emotionally charged, filled with tension and underlying love. Brooke
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2010
|
Barbara, First things first - hurray for surviving round three :-)
Boy, the story is heating up. You depict the danger Cassie is in extremely well - I can just feel Sara's fears, Joe's frustrations and guilt, the sense of urgency in his team - and these people are so real to me that I cringe at the thought of how Cassie must be feeling. Excellent dialogue between Joe and Sara, so emotionally charged, filled with tension and underlying love. Brooke
Comment Written 28-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2010
-
Thank you for your kind review I appreciate yoru support and friendship.
Comment from missy98writer
Barbara,
chapter twenty-six is brief and leaves the reader wanting more. What in God's name have those creeps have done to Cassie. This line was shocking: "Are you telling me they're going to air a live rape?" I hope he's not referring to Cassie, but what if they are the ones who don't have Cassie. What about that kid who was harassing her at the game. I may be reading too much in to your excellent chapter. Your dialogue and narrator are marvelous. I hope Joe finds Cassie before something bad happens to her. I pray your feeling better because I feel like crud. This flu kicked my butt and the fever is lingering on. I feel like crud. I'll take the shot next year and risk the shot making me sick for a few days. Make sure you take a flu shot. I pray you get better, my friend. I'm sending you a cyber hug.
Melissa.
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2010
|
Barbara,
chapter twenty-six is brief and leaves the reader wanting more. What in God's name have those creeps have done to Cassie. This line was shocking: "Are you telling me they're going to air a live rape?" I hope he's not referring to Cassie, but what if they are the ones who don't have Cassie. What about that kid who was harassing her at the game. I may be reading too much in to your excellent chapter. Your dialogue and narrator are marvelous. I hope Joe finds Cassie before something bad happens to her. I pray your feeling better because I feel like crud. This flu kicked my butt and the fever is lingering on. I feel like crud. I'll take the shot next year and risk the shot making me sick for a few days. Make sure you take a flu shot. I pray you get better, my friend. I'm sending you a cyber hug.
Melissa.
Comment Written 28-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2010
-
I always get my flu shot and this year was no different. I got before I started chemo. There was no way I would risk gettting it this year. Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from winlaw writer
Good character development in the story that continues to show the deep seated emotions that are being held until the end of the chapter.
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2010
|
Good character development in the story that continues to show the deep seated emotions that are being held until the end of the chapter.
Comment Written 28-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2010
-
Thank you for your kind review.
