Another Pretty Face
Viewing comments for Chapter 26 "Chapter 11; part two"Can love survive small town gossip?
92 total reviews
Comment from Gungalo
This is a sad but great story and many have gone through the same thing. That gives it great reader appeal. Your words, characters and vocabulary are fantastic, girl. Well done and simply full of emotional drama. The ending here is amazing!!!
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2010
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This is a sad but great story and many have gone through the same thing. That gives it great reader appeal. Your words, characters and vocabulary are fantastic, girl. Well done and simply full of emotional drama. The ending here is amazing!!!
Comment Written 01-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2010
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Thank you for your kind review.
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My pleasure!!!
Comment from R. K. Alan
I was worried she was being left alone and no good would come of it. So far so good. You have me worried sick about that poor girl. Bring her home soon. but then, that the sign of good writing isn't it? Ray aka krylon
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2010
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I was worried she was being left alone and no good would come of it. So far so good. You have me worried sick about that poor girl. Bring her home soon. but then, that the sign of good writing isn't it? Ray aka krylon
Comment Written 01-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2010
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Nanashirley
This is a good chapter and the tension that you are building is intense. I like the way you keep leaving me wanting more. Good job.
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2010
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This is a good chapter and the tension that you are building is intense. I like the way you keep leaving me wanting more. Good job.
Comment Written 30-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2010
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from marymiller546
Excellent story. You truly brought to light a mother's fears, a woman's doubts about her own feelings and a man's doubt about his purpose in a relationship. His rugged attitude about saving his women folk is endearing and brings to light the modern man's plight of trying to protect without making the loved ones in his life feel suffocated. Marvelous story. I look forward to reading more.
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2010
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Excellent story. You truly brought to light a mother's fears, a woman's doubts about her own feelings and a man's doubt about his purpose in a relationship. His rugged attitude about saving his women folk is endearing and brings to light the modern man's plight of trying to protect without making the loved ones in his life feel suffocated. Marvelous story. I look forward to reading more.
Comment Written 30-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2010
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Thank you for you kind review.
Comment from samsaysagain
Excellent again. I love the terminology and descriptions of all that's happened. More important is the point you're making regarding internet predators and often their pornographic intentions. This is a very good chapter. I hope the next one finds both Cassie and Sara's love for Joe reveled to him.
Well done.
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2010
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Excellent again. I love the terminology and descriptions of all that's happened. More important is the point you're making regarding internet predators and often their pornographic intentions. This is a very good chapter. I hope the next one finds both Cassie and Sara's love for Joe reveled to him.
Well done.
Comment Written 30-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2010
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Michelle S
Barbara,
This is the first chapter of this story that I have read but it is really good. I'm new to this site and although I am trying not to review books that are this far along, I did read this and enjoyed it. I will bookcase it and when I have some time will try to get through enough of the earlier chapters to get a feel for the whole story so I can continue to follow along.
Great job.
Michelle
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2010
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Barbara,
This is the first chapter of this story that I have read but it is really good. I'm new to this site and although I am trying not to review books that are this far along, I did read this and enjoyed it. I will bookcase it and when I have some time will try to get through enough of the earlier chapters to get a feel for the whole story so I can continue to follow along.
Great job.
Michelle
Comment Written 30-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2010
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Thank you for your kind review. Welcome.
Comment from FredCollingwood
Barbara, you really know how to grab your readers in the beginning and hold them throughout. You include truely timely subjects.
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2010
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Barbara, you really know how to grab your readers in the beginning and hold them throughout. You include truely timely subjects.
Comment Written 30-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2010
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Mustang Patty
You do such a good job of using dialogue to convey the deeper messages of your story. This was an enjoyable read, and it flowed well. Thank you for sharing it with us.
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2010
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You do such a good job of using dialogue to convey the deeper messages of your story. This was an enjoyable read, and it flowed well. Thank you for sharing it with us.
Comment Written 30-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2010
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from gerry26
Your dialog is smooth,and the inner thoughts of the characters is smoothly inserted. The emotions come across to the reader loud and clear. Good chapter.
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2010
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Your dialog is smooth,and the inner thoughts of the characters is smoothly inserted. The emotions come across to the reader loud and clear. Good chapter.
Comment Written 30-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2010
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Thank you for your kind revie.
Comment from Jonez08
Hi Barbara, I have two different intakes on this chapter, the thing I like most is that you are keeping the romance at the forefront and not letting the suspense plot over take it. Many readers don't understand this concept, in romance, even if the house is burning down, the element of love must be present, so I applaud your knowledge of this, the only problem I'm having is the settings of the last 10-15 posts(I didn't count so I'm not sure of the number). I'm not seeing any variations in the scenes, many chapters include painting with george and joe entering the house, or Sarah and Joe and then his phone rings and he leaves. To keep writing fresh, even if it has to be in the same location,room etc... use different activities or settings, let Sarah do something in the house she's never done before.. filing, go in the back yard, what's the weather like this time of year, what are the characters wearing,are there any smells. Just something to mix things up. You can even consider having her visit her parents or they come visit her. I'm really a romantic at heart, so I'm enjoying the story, but I always do my best to be honest. Talk with you soon.
"It's not your fault Cassie's missing."
--I find this line stretching omni-present POV a bit much ..meaning, Sarah says this as if she 'knows' what Joe is thinking. I've seen this in a few previous chapters as well. To make more convincing and realistic, I think she would have to take the conversation a different route to find out what he's thinking, or least ask him what's wrong.
Sara put her arms around Joe. "I don't blame you for any of this. If I would've been a better mother,
--life is funny, first she blamed him, now she doesn't, but he blames himself. The beautiful thing is that they are sticking together.
Cassandra
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2010
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Hi Barbara, I have two different intakes on this chapter, the thing I like most is that you are keeping the romance at the forefront and not letting the suspense plot over take it. Many readers don't understand this concept, in romance, even if the house is burning down, the element of love must be present, so I applaud your knowledge of this, the only problem I'm having is the settings of the last 10-15 posts(I didn't count so I'm not sure of the number). I'm not seeing any variations in the scenes, many chapters include painting with george and joe entering the house, or Sarah and Joe and then his phone rings and he leaves. To keep writing fresh, even if it has to be in the same location,room etc... use different activities or settings, let Sarah do something in the house she's never done before.. filing, go in the back yard, what's the weather like this time of year, what are the characters wearing,are there any smells. Just something to mix things up. You can even consider having her visit her parents or they come visit her. I'm really a romantic at heart, so I'm enjoying the story, but I always do my best to be honest. Talk with you soon.
"It's not your fault Cassie's missing."
--I find this line stretching omni-present POV a bit much ..meaning, Sarah says this as if she 'knows' what Joe is thinking. I've seen this in a few previous chapters as well. To make more convincing and realistic, I think she would have to take the conversation a different route to find out what he's thinking, or least ask him what's wrong.
Sara put her arms around Joe. "I don't blame you for any of this. If I would've been a better mother,
--life is funny, first she blamed him, now she doesn't, but he blames himself. The beautiful thing is that they are sticking together.
Cassandra
Comment Written 30-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2010
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I never thought of her parent coming over. I don't think Sara would really be running aroung town when her daughter is missing. I think she would be staying home occupying her time. Thank you for your kind review.
