Water Under the Bridge
senryu110 total reviews
Comment from lola29
How sad for those homeless people to have live under a bridge, especially here in America. Your poem brilliantly describes how fragile they all are.
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2010
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How sad for those homeless people to have live under a bridge, especially here in America. Your poem brilliantly describes how fragile they all are.
Comment Written 27-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2010
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Thanks so much, Lola - lots of these communities under lots of bridges... Brooke
Comment from jadapenn
Hi Brooke, a very apt Senryu. I don't know too much about this form. I guess those who can find a bridge and keep their place there count themselves lucky. It's protection from the elements. Not a nice visual though.
Best wishes for the contest. luv jada
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2010
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Hi Brooke, a very apt Senryu. I don't know too much about this form. I guess those who can find a bridge and keep their place there count themselves lucky. It's protection from the elements. Not a nice visual though.
Best wishes for the contest. luv jada
Comment Written 27-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2010
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Thank you, Jada - it's lovely to see you. I hope you're having a good weekend, my friend :-) Brooke
Comment from heyjude
Brooke, well done. I didn't think about a senryu being
a different syllable count. I learn something new all the
time. This is a sad commentary that people have to live
under bridges. Water under the bridge - these people are
probably forgotten so much of the time, too. Good luck on
the contest
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2010
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Brooke, well done. I didn't think about a senryu being
a different syllable count. I learn something new all the
time. This is a sad commentary that people have to live
under bridges. Water under the bridge - these people are
probably forgotten so much of the time, too. Good luck on
the contest
Comment Written 27-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2010
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Thank you, Judy, for your thoughtful comments on this senryu :-) Brooke
Comment from Wendyanne
Hi Brooke. This is a very well written piece of poetry in senryu style. I enjoyed the last line which is a cliche and a statement of fact, ie, it is indeed water under the bridge. Good luck
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2010
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Hi Brooke. This is a very well written piece of poetry in senryu style. I enjoyed the last line which is a cliche and a statement of fact, ie, it is indeed water under the bridge. Good luck
Comment Written 27-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2010
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Wendyanne, Thanks for appreciating my satori line :-) Brooke
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That's the word I was looking for lol. I knew it had a fancy name
Comment from honeytree
The art work is very telling here and we are lucky to have our homes and not live under a bridge.
I felt these words were brilliant ones. I feel so sorry for people struggling within our world in this way.
Honey tree
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2010
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The art work is very telling here and we are lucky to have our homes and not live under a bridge.
I felt these words were brilliant ones. I feel so sorry for people struggling within our world in this way.
Honey tree
Comment Written 27-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2010
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Thanks so much for your thoughtfulness, Annie. :-) Brooke
Comment from BLACKDYKE
Very clever and deep adewpearl. As always you have used a brilliant idea and turned it into a senryu of breath taking proportions. Easy to read, easy to understand. With a message thrown in. Great stuff. Eric
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2010
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Very clever and deep adewpearl. As always you have used a brilliant idea and turned it into a senryu of breath taking proportions. Easy to read, easy to understand. With a message thrown in. Great stuff. Eric
Comment Written 27-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2010
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Eric, thanks so much for your most thoughtful and encouraging review :-) Brooke
Comment from Penpal
Hello Brooke,
This is a very well written senryu and I love the ironic last line: water under the bridge.
Recently we had record amounts of rain, and many folks were washed out and evacuated from their homes.
The idea of the homeless also being washed out is very informing. Sometimes we don't think of their homes. Though provoking and well thought out.
Pen
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2010
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Hello Brooke,
This is a very well written senryu and I love the ironic last line: water under the bridge.
Recently we had record amounts of rain, and many folks were washed out and evacuated from their homes.
The idea of the homeless also being washed out is very informing. Sometimes we don't think of their homes. Though provoking and well thought out.
Pen
Comment Written 27-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2010
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Pen, that is precisely the point of this satiric senryu - Most of the time most of the people do not think of their homes or lack thereof. Thanks so much for your thoughtful comments. Brooke :-)
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
Your words do indeed
make one think - so many
poor, needy people - we
are forever collecting
clothes and having "bring
and buy" sales to raise
money for them.
Someone's been pinching Colin's socks
as we keep coming across odd ones -
so puzzling.
Margaret.
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2010
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Your words do indeed
make one think - so many
poor, needy people - we
are forever collecting
clothes and having "bring
and buy" sales to raise
money for them.
Someone's been pinching Colin's socks
as we keep coming across odd ones -
so puzzling.
Margaret.
Comment Written 27-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2010
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Margaret, thanks so very much for your review. That odd sock mystery has plagued society a long long time. LOL Brooke :-)
Comment from closetpoetjester
What a thoughtful expression my friend and a clever use of a play on words such as "water under the bridge" thanks for the authors notes but I think this would have stood alone in meaning no probs.
Every line goes a way to telling the story and I found it a wonderfully written piece yet terribly heartfelt and sad.
These poor souls don't necessarily always start out on the wrong side of the street either. In this day and age many white collar type workers have ended up on the street due to various circumstances so this affects every level of society.
Cheers and thanks for sharing this very raw and quite emotional piece.
Closet xoxo
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2010
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What a thoughtful expression my friend and a clever use of a play on words such as "water under the bridge" thanks for the authors notes but I think this would have stood alone in meaning no probs.
Every line goes a way to telling the story and I found it a wonderfully written piece yet terribly heartfelt and sad.
These poor souls don't necessarily always start out on the wrong side of the street either. In this day and age many white collar type workers have ended up on the street due to various circumstances so this affects every level of society.
Cheers and thanks for sharing this very raw and quite emotional piece.
Closet xoxo
Comment Written 27-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2010
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I'm always amazed at what goes over the heads of people or what expressions they do not know, either because they're too young or from a different culture, so I had no idea how many people would know "water under the bridge." :-) Thanks so much, Phillipa. Brooke :-)
Comment from mstad55
I know everyone cannot invite there uncle to stay with them, but it would be nice to give the homeless a place to stay even if its tempoary, especially when they are family. For most people the thoughts of the homeless would best be water under the bridge. In a country like ours, homeless and hungry shouldn't exist. Nice piece to get people thinking. mstad55
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2010
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I know everyone cannot invite there uncle to stay with them, but it would be nice to give the homeless a place to stay even if its tempoary, especially when they are family. For most people the thoughts of the homeless would best be water under the bridge. In a country like ours, homeless and hungry shouldn't exist. Nice piece to get people thinking. mstad55
Comment Written 27-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2010
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You are so right, Mike - this should not exist and nobody thinks it should exist, but lots of people think somebody else should deal with it and not expect them to pay a nickel to help with the solution!! Thanks so much. Brooke :-)
