Water Under the Bridge
senryu110 total reviews
Comment from Fleedleflump
Ooh, that's clever, young Brookster! Turning around a well-known saying to hammer home your point with power and compassion. You certainly meet the irony aspect, and the commentary. Loved it!
Mike
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2010
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Ooh, that's clever, young Brookster! Turning around a well-known saying to hammer home your point with power and compassion. You certainly meet the irony aspect, and the commentary. Loved it!
Mike
Comment Written 28-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2010
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Cleverly ironic, I like the sound of that!! LOL Thanks, Mike :-) Brooke
Comment from BarnCat
Very dark, Brooke, and clearly makes us think about our priorities. The final line is chilling in that it takes not only the homeless in this country, but "fringe" people all over the world and reminds us, unflinchingly, that we treat them as if they are unimportant. How callous we can be while we pursue our dreams and goals to leave so many behind without a care. Thank you for reminding me today to not only count my blessings, but to share my nounty with others. D
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2010
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Very dark, Brooke, and clearly makes us think about our priorities. The final line is chilling in that it takes not only the homeless in this country, but "fringe" people all over the world and reminds us, unflinchingly, that we treat them as if they are unimportant. How callous we can be while we pursue our dreams and goals to leave so many behind without a care. Thank you for reminding me today to not only count my blessings, but to share my nounty with others. D
Comment Written 28-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2010
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Deb, thanks so much - yes, this world has far too many people consigned to the fringes for a number of reasons, dear friend. Brooke
Comment from Adri7enne
Yep! Building up treasures on shifting sands. Guess we don't get to take any of it with us. "water under the bridge." Good one, Brooke. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2010
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Yep! Building up treasures on shifting sands. Guess we don't get to take any of it with us. "water under the bridge." Good one, Brooke. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 28-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2010
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Thanks for your thoughtful review, Adrienne :-) Brooke
Comment from Ankh
It is sad that people fall this low...and we turn a blind eye. This one works well. The structure and flow are excellent. Well done hun :-)~
Seth
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2010
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It is sad that people fall this low...and we turn a blind eye. This one works well. The structure and flow are excellent. Well done hun :-)~
Seth
Comment Written 28-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2010
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Thank you, Seth - I appreciate your thoughtfulness. Brooke
Comment from psalmist
I like the double meaning of "water under the bridge." Those nominal, forgotten people whose lives we often ignore and who are the most likely to be caught in times of flood and swept away. Thank you for this thought-provoking entry.
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2010
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I like the double meaning of "water under the bridge." Those nominal, forgotten people whose lives we often ignore and who are the most likely to be caught in times of flood and swept away. Thank you for this thought-provoking entry.
Comment Written 28-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2010
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Thanks so much, psalmist, for appreciating the satori and its double meaning :-) Brooke
Comment from Tillom Gliss
I review very few haiku and senryus as I am not a big fan of this style but I found this to be a powerful statement in a little package that invoked a whole myriad of emotions within--compassion and empathy being foremost. That's a lot for 11 words. Exceptional.
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2010
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I review very few haiku and senryus as I am not a big fan of this style but I found this to be a powerful statement in a little package that invoked a whole myriad of emotions within--compassion and empathy being foremost. That's a lot for 11 words. Exceptional.
Comment Written 28-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2010
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Tillom, thanks so very much for your most generous review of this satiric senryu - I truly appreciate your thoughtful reading. Good Sunday morning, my friend :-) Brooke
Comment from GabrielaNoemi
Water under the bridge also can mean when something that happened it's done and forgotten or forgiven. That it's how people sometimes feel about those less fortunate like the homeless.
I love the clever use of your words. Just few but they mean a lot!
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2010
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Water under the bridge also can mean when something that happened it's done and forgotten or forgiven. That it's how people sometimes feel about those less fortunate like the homeless.
I love the clever use of your words. Just few but they mean a lot!
Comment Written 28-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2010
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Gabriela, thank you so very much for your thoughtful comments on this senryu and for your most generous, encouraging rating. Happy Sunday morning to you :-) Brooke
Comment from Jen Gentry
Brooke,
Please forgive me as I have been away for the last couple of weeks and I am so happy to be back, I love that you are original with the format of this Senryu your poem is indeed insightful of the human condition and your author notes are as usual superb
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2010
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Brooke,
Please forgive me as I have been away for the last couple of weeks and I am so happy to be back, I love that you are original with the format of this Senryu your poem is indeed insightful of the human condition and your author notes are as usual superb
Comment Written 27-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2010
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Thanks so very much - I hope you had happy reasons for being away from the site - a trip to Hawaii is a good reason, a broken leg sucks. LOL Brooke :-)
Comment from LoveLifeKnight
this is a great poem, and it definitely has irony. the poem and your notes did make me think and it made me grateful for all the beds ive slept in!
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2010
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this is a great poem, and it definitely has irony. the poem and your notes did make me think and it made me grateful for all the beds ive slept in!
Comment Written 27-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2010
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Thanks so much, LoveLifeKnight - I'm so glad you see the irony. Brooke :-)
Comment from katfoxvan
adewpearl~
Many visuals flashed through my head as I read Water Under the Bridge -- homeless people, river animals, etc. Good poem.
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2010
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adewpearl~
Many visuals flashed through my head as I read Water Under the Bridge -- homeless people, river animals, etc. Good poem.
Comment Written 27-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2010
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Thank you, katfoxvan, for your thoughtful review - I'm glad the poem created visuals for you. Brooke :-)
