Water Under the Bridge
senryu110 total reviews
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
This is very nice Senryu. The artwork is great. Far to many people live under bridges, most of them are mentally or physically ill, or veterans. Thank you for the authors note-I am learning from them. I did buy the book you suggested and it has arrived. Now I just need to make time to read it!Debbie
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2010
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This is very nice Senryu. The artwork is great. Far to many people live under bridges, most of them are mentally or physically ill, or veterans. Thank you for the authors note-I am learning from them. I did buy the book you suggested and it has arrived. Now I just need to make time to read it!Debbie
Comment Written 26-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2010
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Debbie, yes, many are emotionally/mentally unstable, some because of their service experiences. How tragic that this is how we treat them. So glad to hear you ordered that book. Thanks so much for your great review :-) Brooke
Comment from Joan E.
Your poem reminds us about how much we take for granted and how many less fortunate exist outside our consciousness. Thank you for the vivid picture and social commentary in this senryu.
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2010
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Your poem reminds us about how much we take for granted and how many less fortunate exist outside our consciousness. Thank you for the vivid picture and social commentary in this senryu.
Comment Written 26-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2010
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Thank you, Joan - sadly, we allow far too many unconscionable things to exist outside our consciousness. Brooke
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You are so right--especially at this time of giving thanks! -J
Comment from nancyjam
This Senryu is definitely cynical in tone.
Personally I don't know anyone who would
dismiss such a tragedy - but I suppose
there are some.
Your poem is a good reminder though.
PS Did you make it to your sister's for Thanksgiving?
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2010
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This Senryu is definitely cynical in tone.
Personally I don't know anyone who would
dismiss such a tragedy - but I suppose
there are some.
Your poem is a good reminder though.
PS Did you make it to your sister's for Thanksgiving?
Comment Written 26-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2010
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Nancy, thanks so much - yes, the snow ended and the drive was easy - thanks for asking. I was not talking so much about people's dismissing a tragedy of a flooding so much as about people's sweeping the very existence of the homeless from their minds. Believe me, in all the towns where there are camps under bridges, there is not a daily outpouring of lots of nice people reaching out to them. Brooke
Comment from Dave-Aranda-Richards
Water under the bridge=Philadelphia Phillies Season, The Spectrum's future, Donavon's knowldege of the two minute drill and even the flyers demise.
Dave Bill-Stern
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2010
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Water under the bridge=Philadelphia Phillies Season, The Spectrum's future, Donavon's knowldege of the two minute drill and even the flyers demise.
Dave Bill-Stern
Comment Written 26-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2010
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Thanks, Dave - ah, the examples one could list - it could be a contest. LOL :-) Brooke
Comment from JeJo
Brooke,
This senryu is in good form, with 17 syllables, commenting on a human condition with a ironic/satiric twist. Those 'makeshift homesteads' don't last long under the bridge, for the water washes it away and maybe the people wish it would go away too (and they want something better).
Good use of 'r' sounds with rains/riverbank. This is a very thoughtful senryu using an idiom in a different way to convey the sadness and tragedy of the homeless. There are so many, it really is heartbreaking. I remember helping serve kids on Thanksgiving Day several years ago (basically kids just a few years younger than me). They would keep asking for things such as milk so they could take it home for later (of course, they didn't tell me that). But they would have asked until the stock was gone... Still, I felt bad not giving all they wanted.
Great work, and good luck in this contest! All the best, Jen
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2010
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Brooke,
This senryu is in good form, with 17 syllables, commenting on a human condition with a ironic/satiric twist. Those 'makeshift homesteads' don't last long under the bridge, for the water washes it away and maybe the people wish it would go away too (and they want something better).
Good use of 'r' sounds with rains/riverbank. This is a very thoughtful senryu using an idiom in a different way to convey the sadness and tragedy of the homeless. There are so many, it really is heartbreaking. I remember helping serve kids on Thanksgiving Day several years ago (basically kids just a few years younger than me). They would keep asking for things such as milk so they could take it home for later (of course, they didn't tell me that). But they would have asked until the stock was gone... Still, I felt bad not giving all they wanted.
Great work, and good luck in this contest! All the best, Jen
Comment Written 26-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2010
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Jen, yes, at the shelter where I serve breakfast and at the church where I serve a monthly dinner, there is a policy against take-outs for a number of reasons, and it breaks one's heart to turn people down, but we have to make the food last for everyone.
One of the first things volunteers are taught is not to give people who ask cash from their purses. It's hard at first not to want to give everything one can find to the first person who asks. Thanks so much for your most thoughtful comments. Brooke :-)
Comment from Warren Rodgers
Hi Brooke, Your poem certainly makes one think about how close many of us are to being in the same situation. "water under the bridge" is probably how many people feel but I'm glad this world has people like you who are willing to make a positive mark on their lives. Some want to label them and put them in a box without looking at individual situations that could occur to almost anyone. Great poem gets me thinking and good luck in the contest, my friend.
All the best, Rodger
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2010
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Hi Brooke, Your poem certainly makes one think about how close many of us are to being in the same situation. "water under the bridge" is probably how many people feel but I'm glad this world has people like you who are willing to make a positive mark on their lives. Some want to label them and put them in a box without looking at individual situations that could occur to almost anyone. Great poem gets me thinking and good luck in the contest, my friend.
All the best, Rodger
Comment Written 26-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2010
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Thank you so much, Rodger. I've met folks with dozens of different stories. One woman was a homeowner, wife and mother of a grown daughter. The husband dumped her for the young secretary when she was around 50. She made the mistake of buying out his share of the house, and shortly after that, there were major problems with the plumbing or some such thing that cost more money than she had or could lay hands on, so she sold the house at a huge loss and moved into an apartment. Shortly after that she had a heart attack and complications while recuperating. This caused her to lose her long-time job, so she moved in with her grown daughter, whose husband grew weary of that arrangement and threatened to leave the daughter if she didn't throw Mom out. It was the perfect storm, one unforeseen event after the other. Inside a couple of years she went from wife/homeowner to homeless, right here in Montgomery County.
My own nephew was a captain in the Army, a lawyer, when the mental illness he inherited from my sister kicked in big time. He now lives with my sister and her husband. He is 50 years old and could very well be homeless had he not a father willing to support him and let him live with them. I had a sister in law who was emotionally unstable her entire adult life and lived with her mother her till the day she died. She too would have been homeless without a parent who supported her after she lost the one job she ever had out of college, a job that she kept 6 months. How many middle class families have a family member who someone is supporting and lodging who is no different from the people at our shelters? Brooke
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Those stories are very sad and reminders of just how close many people are willto homelessness. Made even sadder when you think of all the resources that go to waste on one hand which could be put to good use somewhere else. Thank you for your wonderful reply. Rodger are
Comment from Maxine Kendall
I enjoyed reading your Senryu, and particularly like that satirical last line.
So sad that people actually do live under bridges. I hear these things and it makes me realize just how much I have to be thankful for.
Well done and good luck.
Maxine x
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2010
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I enjoyed reading your Senryu, and particularly like that satirical last line.
So sad that people actually do live under bridges. I hear these things and it makes me realize just how much I have to be thankful for.
Well done and good luck.
Maxine x
Comment Written 26-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2010
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Thank you, Maxine - we have a rather substantial community in town who live under a couple of bridges, and I also know that out in the more affluent suburb, there are those who sleep in the parking garage of the mall. Brooke
Comment from Belinda
Isn't it sad? I never imagine there are under-the-bridge people in the US like here. Here they live under the highway bridges, some 'permanently', some while working for the roads. This is truly dark and cynical like a senryu should be, especially since 'under the bridge' has that special meaning I just know now. It must be shocking for you to hear the little girl's comment of having an uncle living under the bridge. This is a thought-provoking senryu, opening a social as well as poetic horizon.
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2010
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Isn't it sad? I never imagine there are under-the-bridge people in the US like here. Here they live under the highway bridges, some 'permanently', some while working for the roads. This is truly dark and cynical like a senryu should be, especially since 'under the bridge' has that special meaning I just know now. It must be shocking for you to hear the little girl's comment of having an uncle living under the bridge. This is a thought-provoking senryu, opening a social as well as poetic horizon.
Comment Written 26-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2010
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Many of the people I serve breakfast to every Tuesday have grown children and grandchildren, even. I have met many homeless people in my town who used to have jobs, used to support families, used to even own homes, and then something went wrong - they became addicted or they were taken down by mental illness or a woman's husband of 25 years dumped her for the young secretary - there are all kinds of stories that account for reversal of fortunes. They're all someone's child or uncle. Thanks so much, Belinda, but many people in my country stick to stereotypical beliefs that they are just lazy and eager to live on someone else's dime. Brooke
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Yeah ... it is like that too, here. I mean the stereotyped belief ...
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written with good form and good flow, i love to write senryus, even though Alvin is never happy with mine. thank you for reminding me of the expression water under the bridge again and your work with those less fortunate than us. good luck in the contest. your story reminded me of one that disturbed my mother. she helped out at the elementary school as a teacher's aide. she asked the question, what do you do when you're hungry? one of the girls answered, "I go to sleep."
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2010
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this is very well written with good form and good flow, i love to write senryus, even though Alvin is never happy with mine. thank you for reminding me of the expression water under the bridge again and your work with those less fortunate than us. good luck in the contest. your story reminded me of one that disturbed my mother. she helped out at the elementary school as a teacher's aide. she asked the question, what do you do when you're hungry? one of the girls answered, "I go to sleep."
Comment Written 26-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2010
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Oh, what a heartbreaking story, sweetwoodjax. Thanks so very much for your most insightful comments :-) Brooke
Comment from words
What many of us do not realize is that in one way or another we all live in "makeshift" homesteads that can be swept away by the winds of fate or in our present case ... the whims of the Wall Street greedy.
There is a lot of "water" under our American bridges and it seems to be approaching title wave proportions.
Well done, my activist friend.
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2010
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What many of us do not realize is that in one way or another we all live in "makeshift" homesteads that can be swept away by the winds of fate or in our present case ... the whims of the Wall Street greedy.
There is a lot of "water" under our American bridges and it seems to be approaching title wave proportions.
Well done, my activist friend.
Comment Written 26-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2010
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You are so right, Diane - even people who think they are secure can find their fortunes have shifted overnight. We are all wise to realize we are closer to the precarious situation of those under the bridge than we'd like to think. Thanks so much, my friend :-) Brooke
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Have been volunteering at a public radio station ... all of the political and economic experts that they have on are predicting a harder fall in the near term future. The sins of the bail-out have not been corrected ... they have been exacerbated so ........ Ah, well.
