Another Pretty Face
Viewing comments for Chapter 25 "Chapter 11; part one"Can love survive small town gossip?
64 total reviews
Comment from marcellawachtel
The electricity between Sarah and Joe is very strong, and their conversations about Cassie bring them closer in a different way. No matter how he tries to comfort her, she's got a picture in mind of what is happening to Cassie, and it is making her crazy. As always, the action is snappy and things keep moving. Never a dull moment.
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2010
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The electricity between Sarah and Joe is very strong, and their conversations about Cassie bring them closer in a different way. No matter how he tries to comfort her, she's got a picture in mind of what is happening to Cassie, and it is making her crazy. As always, the action is snappy and things keep moving. Never a dull moment.
Comment Written 21-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2010
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from KayteeF
Hello Barbara. I watch out for your posts every day. Just to hear how you are getting on.
It seems like you are really going through a hard time. I hope you are not going to work during this difficult time, you really do need to conserve your strength to fight the difficult moments.
The swing is very apt, regarding the conversation they have out there.
I know it must be difficult to keep an eye out for those typos we all manage at times. I found a couple for you to look at when you feel up to it.
Sarah allowed the swing [the] move back and forth ...
...I've ever found attractive is nine [?] younger than me ...
These do not affect the narrating of the story in any way at all.
You continue to keep the tension going but I am so glad to see the developing relationship between Joe and Sarah.
I feel the pressure of their inability to find Cassie, really worrying.
Once again I am on the edge of my seat waiting for the next episode.
There is no problem with the length of the post, especially when it is always a great read.
I keep you in my thoughts every day, and pray for you to have strength in facing this long drawn out treatment. I think of you as my birthday sister.
Keep faith, Cathleen.
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2010
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Hello Barbara. I watch out for your posts every day. Just to hear how you are getting on.
It seems like you are really going through a hard time. I hope you are not going to work during this difficult time, you really do need to conserve your strength to fight the difficult moments.
The swing is very apt, regarding the conversation they have out there.
I know it must be difficult to keep an eye out for those typos we all manage at times. I found a couple for you to look at when you feel up to it.
Sarah allowed the swing [the] move back and forth ...
...I've ever found attractive is nine [?] younger than me ...
These do not affect the narrating of the story in any way at all.
You continue to keep the tension going but I am so glad to see the developing relationship between Joe and Sarah.
I feel the pressure of their inability to find Cassie, really worrying.
Once again I am on the edge of my seat waiting for the next episode.
There is no problem with the length of the post, especially when it is always a great read.
I keep you in my thoughts every day, and pray for you to have strength in facing this long drawn out treatment. I think of you as my birthday sister.
Keep faith, Cathleen.
Comment Written 21-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2010
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I am continueing to teach first grade while doing Chemo, so far I have missed only one day, due to chemo. It was the day after my first chemo treatment. I wasn't sure how it would affect me and I didn't want something to happen and upset the kids. My students and their parents know whats going with me. I didn't see any way to hide it. Teaching is probably why my energy level is so low.
I must have been making those corrections while you were reading. Hopefully evil eddie accepted my changes.
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I cannot believe you still have the strength to continue work, but if the people around you are helpful, I s'pose it will be okay my friend.
Who's evil eddie?
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The program in the sky that automatically makes changes in our posts, that we have idea where made until a reviewer points them out. I work with an excellent first grade team and we sat down before school started and had a heart to heart talk. They have my back when I struggle.
Comment from LadyWave
I really liked the part where Joe waited for Sara - it was a small gesture but a very nice touch. Sounds like a big break could be coming in the investigation. Looking forward to seeing how it all shakes out!
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2010
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I really liked the part where Joe waited for Sara - it was a small gesture but a very nice touch. Sounds like a big break could be coming in the investigation. Looking forward to seeing how it all shakes out!
Comment Written 21-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2010
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Mary Ann MCPhedran
Thanks for sharing this story with me, it's descriptive, and has imagery with a good flow. It held my attention and I was hooked on it. A very good write. Mary
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2010
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Thanks for sharing this story with me, it's descriptive, and has imagery with a good flow. It held my attention and I was hooked on it. A very good write. Mary
Comment Written 21-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2010
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Shirley McLain
The intensity is building and it can be felt in your characters and their dialogue. You always do a go job. I would you suggest you go into your author notes and change that I to it so it will read it won't last forever instead of I won't last forever. Got to keep the positive thinking going....
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2010
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The intensity is building and it can be felt in your characters and their dialogue. You always do a go job. I would you suggest you go into your author notes and change that I to it so it will read it won't last forever instead of I won't last forever. Got to keep the positive thinking going....
Comment Written 21-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2010
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Thank you for pointing it out. I will make the change.
Comment from Ceallach
Yes it is a good place to split the chapter for it leaves
the reader in suspense. I hope you don't mind me taking
some liberties by making a couple suggestions.
"We have new information and (replace 'and' with 'that') I need to follow-up on (omit 'it')it." (me thinks it reads smoother)
"The youngest woman I've ever found attractive is nine (add 'years')younger than me."
Coming into this story I find it a real thrill as I like
the suspense/thriller reads most fun. Can't wait for the
next installment. Though I don't know you I will also be
praying for your recovery. Ceallach
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2010
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Yes it is a good place to split the chapter for it leaves
the reader in suspense. I hope you don't mind me taking
some liberties by making a couple suggestions.
"We have new information and (replace 'and' with 'that') I need to follow-up on (omit 'it')it." (me thinks it reads smoother)
"The youngest woman I've ever found attractive is nine (add 'years')younger than me."
Coming into this story I find it a real thrill as I like
the suspense/thriller reads most fun. Can't wait for the
next installment. Though I don't know you I will also be
praying for your recovery. Ceallach
Comment Written 21-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2010
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Thank you for catching those errors I will make the changes.
Comment from pickthorn
I enjoyed this chapter Barbara... ( If that doggone phone wouldn't keep interrupting them) LOL I hope they are getting close to finding Cassie. Looking forward to the next chapter. I'm glad you are doing much better and wish they would hurry and be overwith so you could get back to your everyday routine and be well again. I am keeping you in my prayers.
I found a couple of things you may want to look at...
"I have a feeling something's bad going to happen or had already happened...... "Dani says something's big about to happen. What's going on?"
(In both places, it seems like it should be something big is about to happen or.. Something big's about to happen.)
Sara allowed the swing the move back and forth ( ...to move back and forth)
pickthorn :o)
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2010
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I enjoyed this chapter Barbara... ( If that doggone phone wouldn't keep interrupting them) LOL I hope they are getting close to finding Cassie. Looking forward to the next chapter. I'm glad you are doing much better and wish they would hurry and be overwith so you could get back to your everyday routine and be well again. I am keeping you in my prayers.
I found a couple of things you may want to look at...
"I have a feeling something's bad going to happen or had already happened...... "Dani says something's big about to happen. What's going on?"
(In both places, it seems like it should be something big is about to happen or.. Something big's about to happen.)
Sara allowed the swing the move back and forth ( ...to move back and forth)
pickthorn :o)
Comment Written 21-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2010
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Thank you for catching those errors. I appreciate it.
Comment from dmjones
It didn't seem long at all. I think the dialogue made it fast paced and it advanced the story along.
A couple of things to check:
Sara allowed the swing the(delete the add to) move back and forth a few times
woman I've ever found attractive is nine (years?) younger than me."
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2010
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It didn't seem long at all. I think the dialogue made it fast paced and it advanced the story along.
A couple of things to check:
Sara allowed the swing the(delete the add to) move back and forth a few times
woman I've ever found attractive is nine (years?) younger than me."
Comment Written 21-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2010
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Thank you for catching that error. I am on it.
Comment from lola29
This was another excellent chapter. I'm happy Sara is finally trusting Joe. I wonder why they were not able to obtain a warrant and for whom?
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2010
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This was another excellent chapter. I'm happy Sara is finally trusting Joe. I wonder why they were not able to obtain a warrant and for whom?
Comment Written 21-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2010
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Thank you for the kind review. Most warrants need to come from a judge.
Comment from markk
This is extremely well written and compelling. A great story and very touching. It really pulls the reader in and makes him part of the world that Sara and Joe are living. well done.
Otherwise, i wish you the best of luck with your chemo treatments.
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2010
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This is extremely well written and compelling. A great story and very touching. It really pulls the reader in and makes him part of the world that Sara and Joe are living. well done.
Otherwise, i wish you the best of luck with your chemo treatments.
Comment Written 21-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2010
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Thank you for your kind review.
