Another Pretty Face
Viewing comments for Chapter 25 "Chapter 11; part one"Can love survive small town gossip?
64 total reviews
Comment from Belinda
Hi, Barbara, I find myself praying for Cassie ... that's how your story affects me. This is an interesting chapter (always). I like the friendship blooming between Dani, Sara, and George. No comment about Sara-Joe, you've had me convinced. (Good luck with the chemo, I've been to the hospital lately for my daughter -- she's okay -- and was around several chemo patients; they are tough and I'm certain you are even tougher.)
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2010
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Hi, Barbara, I find myself praying for Cassie ... that's how your story affects me. This is an interesting chapter (always). I like the friendship blooming between Dani, Sara, and George. No comment about Sara-Joe, you've had me convinced. (Good luck with the chemo, I've been to the hospital lately for my daughter -- she's okay -- and was around several chemo patients; they are tough and I'm certain you are even tougher.)
Comment Written 21-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2010
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I have always thought as myself as not a strong person, but with all your prayers I am finding the strength to continue. I often tell my husband, that I want to quit. He reminds me I don't have a choice. Thank you for kind review. To me having my characters effect the readers is extremely important. That means I am doing my job.
Comment from RKagan
Wow, we wait to see what's at the warehouse. Regardless of what physical conditon Cassie is in, she will be mentally messed up from this. This is another riviting chapter. I can't wait for your next post. God Bless you dear, and stay well.
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2010
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Wow, we wait to see what's at the warehouse. Regardless of what physical conditon Cassie is in, she will be mentally messed up from this. This is another riviting chapter. I can't wait for your next post. God Bless you dear, and stay well.
Comment Written 21-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2010
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from sweetwoodjax
i am glad you are feeling better from your last treatment. i got so into reading i didn't notice it being longer than normal. i keep thinking what cassie is going through. are you planning on putting some input from her standpoint? looking forward to your next chapter. God bless you.
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2010
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i am glad you are feeling better from your last treatment. i got so into reading i didn't notice it being longer than normal. i keep thinking what cassie is going through. are you planning on putting some input from her standpoint? looking forward to your next chapter. God bless you.
Comment Written 21-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2010
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I may try, but the POV issue causes me trouble. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Dave M
Barbara,
This is an excellent chapter. As you've said, it's romance fiction, so the story line stays with Sara. I enjoyed this read and have a few suggestions:
"Sara watched until the car pulled away from the curb and {was soon out of sight}." The words in braces jar me a bit. They're passive, and they don't quite fit with "until." I'd write, "Sara watched until the car pulled away from the curb and disappeared around the corner."
"I spoke with him a few hours ago," answered Dani. Caution was heard in her voice." I don't like the second sentence - it belongs more in a dry treatise than in a romance novel. I'd write, "I spoke with him a few hours ago," Dani answered with a cautious voice."
"Once Cassie started walking, she gave up her naps{, so I understand}." Sara raised Cassie, so she'd not just understand, she'd know. I'd take the words in braces out.
"I even hacked into {the} Frank Steven's computer." I'd take the word "the" out.
In your Author Notes: "Thank you KJ Photography for your artword [artwork] Vacancy."
Dave
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2010
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Barbara,
This is an excellent chapter. As you've said, it's romance fiction, so the story line stays with Sara. I enjoyed this read and have a few suggestions:
"Sara watched until the car pulled away from the curb and {was soon out of sight}." The words in braces jar me a bit. They're passive, and they don't quite fit with "until." I'd write, "Sara watched until the car pulled away from the curb and disappeared around the corner."
"I spoke with him a few hours ago," answered Dani. Caution was heard in her voice." I don't like the second sentence - it belongs more in a dry treatise than in a romance novel. I'd write, "I spoke with him a few hours ago," Dani answered with a cautious voice."
"Once Cassie started walking, she gave up her naps{, so I understand}." Sara raised Cassie, so she'd not just understand, she'd know. I'd take the words in braces out.
"I even hacked into {the} Frank Steven's computer." I'd take the word "the" out.
In your Author Notes: "Thank you KJ Photography for your artword [artwork] Vacancy."
Dave
Comment Written 21-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2010
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Thank you for catching these for me the corrections are in the works.
Comment from Begin Again
Barbara,
Another great chapter..I love how you show Sara's vulnerability and how Joe keeps reassuring her..hoping she'll understand. I really can't understand the child porn..what makes people that sick to treat a child that way...
Wishing you the best as always...
Carol
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2010
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Barbara,
Another great chapter..I love how you show Sara's vulnerability and how Joe keeps reassuring her..hoping she'll understand. I really can't understand the child porn..what makes people that sick to treat a child that way...
Wishing you the best as always...
Carol
Comment Written 21-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2010
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Sacred Heart
Barbara,
Another beautifully written chapter. You totally amaze me my friend. Your attention to detail is remarkable. Joe and Sara are feeling somthings not right and the mention of a child porn ring, I can see where this is going which makes the next chapter so intriquing want to know if poor Cassie is going to be okay. Oh my heart...
On a personal note my friend, I'm keeping you in my prayers. Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours. Hugs, Take good care!! Love Patty
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2010
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Barbara,
Another beautifully written chapter. You totally amaze me my friend. Your attention to detail is remarkable. Joe and Sara are feeling somthings not right and the mention of a child porn ring, I can see where this is going which makes the next chapter so intriquing want to know if poor Cassie is going to be okay. Oh my heart...
On a personal note my friend, I'm keeping you in my prayers. Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours. Hugs, Take good care!! Love Patty
Comment Written 21-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2010
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Thank you for your support. On my reall bad days, I can feel all the prayers pouring down on me. Thank you for the kind review.
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May they strengthen you with their loving wings wraped around your soul healing and strengthening you within the warmth of their love. (((Hugs)))
Comment from Patrick G Cox
Hi Barbara,
Good chapter, holds the tension and suggests the frustration of law enforcement when up against a legal system that favours the wrongdoer.
Patrick
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2010
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Hi Barbara,
Good chapter, holds the tension and suggests the frustration of law enforcement when up against a legal system that favours the wrongdoer.
Patrick
Comment Written 21-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2010
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Thank you for the kind review. In a few chapters, I am sure you will find many errors I have made as I try to describe the attempted rescue.
Comment from bowls
My best wishes go out to you again. Stay strong!
This is another lovely chapter exploring the relationship between Sara and Joe. In addition, the reader's interest in the kidnapping plot is maintained by the new revelation. Nicely done. If I may suggest one thing: you write "going to happen or had already happened". I think HAS already happened would be more appropriate here.
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2010
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My best wishes go out to you again. Stay strong!
This is another lovely chapter exploring the relationship between Sara and Joe. In addition, the reader's interest in the kidnapping plot is maintained by the new revelation. Nicely done. If I may suggest one thing: you write "going to happen or had already happened". I think HAS already happened would be more appropriate here.
Comment Written 21-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2010
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Thank you for catching that. I made the change.
Comment from jennyindy
This is excellent,and more building of the characters.I felt the tug of war emotional bi play of Joe and Sara, and that uncomfortable nagging feeling that something isn't right. The mention of Child porn ring of course made my stomach drop,and even now I have butterflies,worried about whats to come involving Cassie.Thank you for sharing and wishing you well in your fight and recovery!
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2010
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This is excellent,and more building of the characters.I felt the tug of war emotional bi play of Joe and Sara, and that uncomfortable nagging feeling that something isn't right. The mention of Child porn ring of course made my stomach drop,and even now I have butterflies,worried about whats to come involving Cassie.Thank you for sharing and wishing you well in your fight and recovery!
Comment Written 21-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2010
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Thank you for your kind review and support.
Comment from missy98writer
Barbara,
you've written another terrific chapter. Joe and Sara's chemistry floats off the page. Your dialogue is nature and your narrative is excellent with great descriptive writing. As I read your chapter I could picture what was happening in my head. The investigation into who took Cassie is heat up. I hope they find her soon and she hasn't been raped. As I read I felt Sara's anxiety. Joe is such a sweet man. I'm glad Dani telephoned Sara because she needed her reassurance. I agree with Sara when she made this statement: "She's only fourteen." Sara stood. "How could a man find her stimulating?" I look forward to reading chapter twenty-six. Keep up the excellent writing, my friend.
Melissa.
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2010
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Barbara,
you've written another terrific chapter. Joe and Sara's chemistry floats off the page. Your dialogue is nature and your narrative is excellent with great descriptive writing. As I read your chapter I could picture what was happening in my head. The investigation into who took Cassie is heat up. I hope they find her soon and she hasn't been raped. As I read I felt Sara's anxiety. Joe is such a sweet man. I'm glad Dani telephoned Sara because she needed her reassurance. I agree with Sara when she made this statement: "She's only fourteen." Sara stood. "How could a man find her stimulating?" I look forward to reading chapter twenty-six. Keep up the excellent writing, my friend.
Melissa.
Comment Written 21-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2010
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Thank you for your kind review and more importantly, continued support.
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I emailed you someting. It's my pleasure rading your writing, my friend.
Melissa.
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I emailed you someting. It's my pleasure reading your writing, my friend.
Melissa.
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I emailed you someting. It's my pleasure rading your writing, my friend.
Melissa.
