Performance Problems- My Life! LOL
Viewing comments for Chapter 63 "The Yellow Brick Road To Marriage"A halarious adventure with misery, but always joy!
4 total reviews
Comment from passionatpoet
This is an awesome story about the excitment of relationships and marriage in the beginning. Things seem to settle down pretty quickly after marriage.
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2010
  |
This is an awesome story about the excitment of relationships and marriage in the beginning. Things seem to settle down pretty quickly after marriage.
Comment Written 15-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2010
-
Thank you for the compliments and this review. Mike
Comment from johnray
A well written and nice account of the pre-marriage and "honeymoon" phase. It feels like it's written by someone who has been there. The tone of the piece seems pretty excited and optimistic overall, which is good, since it wouldn't be good to enter marriage with a pessimistic tone.
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2010
 |
A well written and nice account of the pre-marriage and "honeymoon" phase. It feels like it's written by someone who has been there. The tone of the piece seems pretty excited and optimistic overall, which is good, since it wouldn't be good to enter marriage with a pessimistic tone.
Comment Written 15-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2010
-
I thank you very much for the compliments and this reivew. Indeed, if one approaches marriage as a pessimist I doubt it would work out.
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written with good form and good flow, a wonderful job writing this chapter of your life. it sounds like you had your hands full with the wedding and the details, the family. the honeymoon sounds beautiful. i always wanted to go to the poconos for my honeymoon. was it a heated pool in the room?
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2010
|
this is very well written with good form and good flow, a wonderful job writing this chapter of your life. it sounds like you had your hands full with the wedding and the details, the family. the honeymoon sounds beautiful. i always wanted to go to the poconos for my honeymoon. was it a heated pool in the room?
Comment Written 15-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2010
-
Thank you very much for your compliments and this review. Yes, the pool water is heated too. Mike
Comment from sheilanewton
I liked this - but I could have liked it more if you'd split up the piece and given the reader some white space in which to take a breather!
It seemed to me that the story wasn't split up by enough dialogue either, but probably that's just personal preference.
But please do, give me some white space - I'm out of breath now I've reached the end! If you don't do this, you'll end up losing your readers half way through - or before.
But I did read it beginning to end and I must say I loved this extract -
I brought in a dish called, "Litter Box Dump Cake." People were greeted with a concoction of vanilla pudding, Vienna Fingers and Tootsie roll poop, served in a new litter box with a cat litter scoop.
Brilliant! You could do with a bit more humour like this in your story too - break up the tension!
88888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888
AH, MUCH BETTER - NOW I'M SEEING LOTS OF HUMOUR AND LOTS OF DRAMA. WHAT A DIFFERENCE A BIT OF SPACE MAKES!!
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2010
|
I liked this - but I could have liked it more if you'd split up the piece and given the reader some white space in which to take a breather!
It seemed to me that the story wasn't split up by enough dialogue either, but probably that's just personal preference.
But please do, give me some white space - I'm out of breath now I've reached the end! If you don't do this, you'll end up losing your readers half way through - or before.
But I did read it beginning to end and I must say I loved this extract -
I brought in a dish called, "Litter Box Dump Cake." People were greeted with a concoction of vanilla pudding, Vienna Fingers and Tootsie roll poop, served in a new litter box with a cat litter scoop.
Brilliant! You could do with a bit more humour like this in your story too - break up the tension!
88888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888
AH, MUCH BETTER - NOW I'M SEEING LOTS OF HUMOUR AND LOTS OF DRAMA. WHAT A DIFFERENCE A BIT OF SPACE MAKES!!
Comment Written 14-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2010
-
I thank you for your compliments and this review. I did add a couple of blank lines to add a bit of space.
Not being almost taken down to the floor by several priests, isn't funny? I appreciate you comment, but feel the humor is there. Indeed, I find a humorous outlooks not only breaks up the tension, but if it is your moment, it clears the mind enough not to let life overtake you. Mike
