Another Pretty Face
Viewing comments for Chapter 23 "Chapter 10; part one"Can love survive small town gossip?
64 total reviews
Comment from adewpearl
You continue to express Sara's feelings well about Joe's job and the impact it has on their relationship - I know that I'm one of those women who could not be married to a man who was away on dangerous missions - the worry would drive me crazy.
If I learned a guy I was just starting to date had a job like Joe's, I would just walk away no matter how wonderful the guy because I know myself well enough to know I'm not cut out for that life. I think it's realistic that you have her question their future even though he is a too-good-to-be-true guy.
And your story of the child porn ring continues to be intriguing. Brooke
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2010
  |
You continue to express Sara's feelings well about Joe's job and the impact it has on their relationship - I know that I'm one of those women who could not be married to a man who was away on dangerous missions - the worry would drive me crazy.
If I learned a guy I was just starting to date had a job like Joe's, I would just walk away no matter how wonderful the guy because I know myself well enough to know I'm not cut out for that life. I think it's realistic that you have her question their future even though he is a too-good-to-be-true guy.
And your story of the child porn ring continues to be intriguing. Brooke
Comment Written 08-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2010
-
Thank you for your kind review and encouragement.
Comment from bowls
All my best to you on Thursday and throughout the weekend. I hope to see the lilac paint flying soon. Another good chapter. The suspense keeps mounting. I notice you left Joe out of this one. I think that heightens the suspense even more. We wonder what he's doing, how he's feeling, what he knows. At the same time it's interesting to see the development of the relationship on Sara's side. A few tiny things: In the paragraph beginning "When we're together", you write AS MATTER OF FACT. Now, that might be what you want to say or you might have forgotten to put in A (as a matter of fact). In the paragraph beginning "Sara noticed the harshness", I think THE SAME AFFECT should be EFFECT and in the paragraph beginning "Honestly", EFFECT should be AFFECT.Hope you have an excellent day!
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2010
|
All my best to you on Thursday and throughout the weekend. I hope to see the lilac paint flying soon. Another good chapter. The suspense keeps mounting. I notice you left Joe out of this one. I think that heightens the suspense even more. We wonder what he's doing, how he's feeling, what he knows. At the same time it's interesting to see the development of the relationship on Sara's side. A few tiny things: In the paragraph beginning "When we're together", you write AS MATTER OF FACT. Now, that might be what you want to say or you might have forgotten to put in A (as a matter of fact). In the paragraph beginning "Sara noticed the harshness", I think THE SAME AFFECT should be EFFECT and in the paragraph beginning "Honestly", EFFECT should be AFFECT.Hope you have an excellent day!
Comment Written 08-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2010
-
I try to stay away from affect and effect. I can never keep them straight. I even have a note card beside me when I write and I still screw it up. Thank you for your review.
Comment from Connie P
Very well done, Barbara. I'm encouraged that you felt well enough to post this. The porn ring must be big and sophisticated and Cassie is caught in the middle. I enjoyed the chapter as always.
Connie
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2010
|
Very well done, Barbara. I'm encouraged that you felt well enough to post this. The porn ring must be big and sophisticated and Cassie is caught in the middle. I enjoyed the chapter as always.
Connie
Comment Written 08-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2010
-
Thank you for your kind reviwe.
Comment from c_lucas
It looks as if things are going to heat up. This is very well written with a smooth flow of word, making for an easy read.You're story has good imagery and descriptive scheme.
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2010
|
It looks as if things are going to heat up. This is very well written with a smooth flow of word, making for an easy read.You're story has good imagery and descriptive scheme.
Comment Written 08-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2010
-
Thank you for your kind review.
-
You're welcome, Barbara. Charlie
Comment from RKagan
A child pornography ring, what a nightmare for any mother. This story is excellent. There is so much wonderful character building between Sara and Joe. I read your author notes and once again, my prayers are with you. God Bless you and grant you good health.
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2010
|
A child pornography ring, what a nightmare for any mother. This story is excellent. There is so much wonderful character building between Sara and Joe. I read your author notes and once again, my prayers are with you. God Bless you and grant you good health.
Comment Written 08-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2010
-
Thank you for your prayers and I appreciate your kind review.
Comment from marcellawachtel
With the anxiety about Cassie ever-present,things get done, and plans get made. Sarah's support system is in full operation- I have a feeling that something is about to pop. Can't wait till you tell us more next chapter.
I hope the chemo goes well without incident. Remember its OK to just rest. J U S T R E S T. Your fans have patience.
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2010
|
With the anxiety about Cassie ever-present,things get done, and plans get made. Sarah's support system is in full operation- I have a feeling that something is about to pop. Can't wait till you tell us more next chapter.
I hope the chemo goes well without incident. Remember its OK to just rest. J U S T R E S T. Your fans have patience.
Comment Written 08-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2010
-
I am learning the definition of REST. I will try to understand it's full meaning. My 78 year old mother is calling constantly reminding that I shouldn't over due. Oh Dear!!!!! Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from R. K. Alan
Engrossing delivery, as always. Sara is obviously going through a lot and has some trouble dealing with all the emotional stress. You are developing the tension very nicely. Can't wait till Cassie is back. Ray aka krylon
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2010
|
Engrossing delivery, as always. Sara is obviously going through a lot and has some trouble dealing with all the emotional stress. You are developing the tension very nicely. Can't wait till Cassie is back. Ray aka krylon
Comment Written 08-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2010
-
Thank you Ray, for your kind review.
Comment from gramalot8
Barbara,yet another good chapter. Sara is so lucky to have George there to take her minds off of Cassie. And he seems so happy and natual to be there and not out in the field. Nice to have Dani verify Joe's feelings. Keep it coming!
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2010
|
Barbara,yet another good chapter. Sara is so lucky to have George there to take her minds off of Cassie. And he seems so happy and natual to be there and not out in the field. Nice to have Dani verify Joe's feelings. Keep it coming!
Comment Written 08-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2010
-
Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written with good form and good flow, another good chapter for your book. i love your work and i pray for you everytime i think of you. hope you do well with your chemo treatments and God heals you.
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2010
|
this is very well written with good form and good flow, another good chapter for your book. i love your work and i pray for you everytime i think of you. hope you do well with your chemo treatments and God heals you.
Comment Written 08-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2010
-
Thank you for your prayers and I appreciate your kind review.
Comment from Dave M
Barbara,
Sara is really naive if she thinks the internet is policed. I also suspect that some companies are all too willing to take the money and not ask questions, if everything is handled automatically.
I enjoyed this read and found a couple of nits:
"Legitimate companies take the orders and credit card payments, then forward the orders to the porn sights [sites]."
"...but don't know how it's going play out or if it's going to effect [affect] us at all."
Take care of yourself. I want to see how this story ends, but don't want you to wear yourself down.
Dave
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2010
|
Barbara,
Sara is really naive if she thinks the internet is policed. I also suspect that some companies are all too willing to take the money and not ask questions, if everything is handled automatically.
I enjoyed this read and found a couple of nits:
"Legitimate companies take the orders and credit card payments, then forward the orders to the porn sights [sites]."
"...but don't know how it's going play out or if it's going to effect [affect] us at all."
Take care of yourself. I want to see how this story ends, but don't want you to wear yourself down.
Dave
Comment Written 07-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2010
-
Thank you Dave for your eagle eye. I appreciate your support.
