Another Pretty Face
Viewing comments for Chapter 23 "Chapter 10; part one"Can love survive small town gossip?
64 total reviews
Comment from L.lora
A wonderful addition, high tension
and mystery still abound and keeps
building. You've given a great look
into the inner workings of this
case, the emotions of those involved;
aided by your great dialogue. Looking
forward to your next addition. typo="but don't know how it's going(to) play"
Lora
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2010
  |
A wonderful addition, high tension
and mystery still abound and keeps
building. You've given a great look
into the inner workings of this
case, the emotions of those involved;
aided by your great dialogue. Looking
forward to your next addition. typo="but don't know how it's going(to) play"
Lora
Comment Written 09-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2010
-
Thank you for your review. I will fix that error.
Comment from Jen Gentry
Your book is coming along very well. How are you doing? I am hoping all is right in your world, I am enjoying the book like getting the novel for free well done flows smooth and easy, your talent lies in getting the plot across with showing rather than telling, a skill I am trying very hard to learn.lol
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2010
|
Your book is coming along very well. How are you doing? I am hoping all is right in your world, I am enjoying the book like getting the novel for free well done flows smooth and easy, your talent lies in getting the plot across with showing rather than telling, a skill I am trying very hard to learn.lol
Comment Written 08-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2010
-
Thank you for your kind reviw.
Comment from mountainwriter49
I enjoyed this chapter and can see I need to go
back and catch up on the other chapters. You've
built suspense into this chapter and have left
me hanging on what will happen next.
The story line is well developed and I enjoyed
getting to know a little bit about the characters.
I'm interested to see how you'll develop the child porn
crime ring. My sense is Sara and her daughter are in
something like a witness protection program.
I'm ready for the next chapter!
Well done,
Ray
ps
On a more personal note, I pray your treatment goes well this week and you don't suffer negative side effects. Stay as future focused and positive as you possibly can.
rr
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2010
|
I enjoyed this chapter and can see I need to go
back and catch up on the other chapters. You've
built suspense into this chapter and have left
me hanging on what will happen next.
The story line is well developed and I enjoyed
getting to know a little bit about the characters.
I'm interested to see how you'll develop the child porn
crime ring. My sense is Sara and her daughter are in
something like a witness protection program.
I'm ready for the next chapter!
Well done,
Ray
ps
On a more personal note, I pray your treatment goes well this week and you don't suffer negative side effects. Stay as future focused and positive as you possibly can.
rr
Comment Written 08-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2010
-
Thank you for your prayers. I appreciate your support with my writing.
Comment from Ted T
Hi Barbara :)
Good work, well written. There's no critique in order with this chapter. Nice rhythm and a balance between narrative and dialogue.
All I can say is George must be the most patient man on the planet. Repainting a room that was just painted is one thing. Then shopping for curtains and painting another room. I'd be in a loony bin before the mall.
Ted
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2010
|
Hi Barbara :)
Good work, well written. There's no critique in order with this chapter. Nice rhythm and a balance between narrative and dialogue.
All I can say is George must be the most patient man on the planet. Repainting a room that was just painted is one thing. Then shopping for curtains and painting another room. I'd be in a loony bin before the mall.
Ted
Comment Written 08-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2010
-
Ted, it's romance, these men are every woman's dream men. That's why we read it. We know they aren't real, but we fall in love with them anyway. They're our escape.
-
Hi Barbara :)
I know it's a romance, and in itself, a fantasy. You're doing well with it.
My question is, what are the readers escaping from?
Ted
-
The everyday drudgery of everyday life. Trying to do it all, be a wife, mother, and work full time in a man's world.
-
Hi Barbara :)
I hardly believe it's a "man's" world anymore.
-
Try living it as a women. The pay females receive for doing the same job is still not equal to a man's pay. Of course, in fields like mine, teaching, they are equal.
-
Okay, I agree, but there are women out doing men by leaps and bounds.
When I started in broadcasting there was no such thing as a female news anchor. Now they're all over the place just as it should be.
In 1978 I took over the news department of KELP, El Paso. There was a female reporter on my four-person team. She was being paid $100.00 less per month than the three guys. I immediately gave her a $100.00 raise.
Tell me that didn't get me points :)
Ted
-
I am proud of you!!!! And women are showing up in many male dominated jobs. My surgeon was a female and she did a wonderful job. Everytime I get a check up by my chemo oncologist he comments on her wonderful work. The scar is noticable, but not as badly as it could be. We are getting there, but it's still a man's world and some leading ladies do nothing but hurt our cause.
-
You're right, there are a few working women who do more harm than good.
Comment from RazberryBullet
Hmmm! I didn't know this: Legitimate companies take the orders and credit card payments, then forward the orders to the porn sites. Once the order's filled the money's placed in legitimate bank accounts." "Don't these companies know perverts are ordering child pornography?" "No, they only take a product number. They have no idea what that number stands for."
This lapse of follow-up needs to be dealt with!
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2010
|
Hmmm! I didn't know this: Legitimate companies take the orders and credit card payments, then forward the orders to the porn sites. Once the order's filled the money's placed in legitimate bank accounts." "Don't these companies know perverts are ordering child pornography?" "No, they only take a product number. They have no idea what that number stands for."
This lapse of follow-up needs to be dealt with!
Comment Written 08-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2010
-
I agree, but it honestly happens. Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from MizKat
Barbara - As usual this chapter is superb. You are such a great writer. I generally never see a mistake, but this time I found a small one. Kat
"It's not the computer's fault. She was naive and never suspected anything liked (like) this could happen."
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2010
|
Barbara - As usual this chapter is superb. You are such a great writer. I generally never see a mistake, but this time I found a small one. Kat
"It's not the computer's fault. She was naive and never suspected anything liked (like) this could happen."
Comment Written 08-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2010
-
Thnk you for eagale eye. I appreciate your review.
Comment from annie-angel
This is the first chapter I have read of this book but was immediately caught up in the tense plot. There is some character confusion for me but that is due to my missing out on the first chapters I'm sure. I like the contrast of the tense, on-edge feelings, building up to some sort of event, counter-balanced with the painting of rooms in the house. Such a normal and to me soothing activity. I do think the mother is keeping her cool awfully well. I don't think I would be so calm. I look forward to reading another chapter. annie
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2010
|
This is the first chapter I have read of this book but was immediately caught up in the tense plot. There is some character confusion for me but that is due to my missing out on the first chapters I'm sure. I like the contrast of the tense, on-edge feelings, building up to some sort of event, counter-balanced with the painting of rooms in the house. Such a normal and to me soothing activity. I do think the mother is keeping her cool awfully well. I don't think I would be so calm. I look forward to reading another chapter. annie
Comment Written 08-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2010
-
Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Juliette Chamberlain
There is a slight shift of concern focus in this chapter .
It seems like a large wave, which concentrates on the task force and then works its way out to a porn ring.
The task force are obviously about to uncover an international cartel.
On the lighter side, (if there is such a thing here) you have managed to convey it with the 'kept woman' suggestion.
I actually had a little giggle at Steve's response.
It is so true.
Juliette
Two chapters in quick succession and both excellent - you have earned a few day's rest.
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2010
|
There is a slight shift of concern focus in this chapter .
It seems like a large wave, which concentrates on the task force and then works its way out to a porn ring.
The task force are obviously about to uncover an international cartel.
On the lighter side, (if there is such a thing here) you have managed to convey it with the 'kept woman' suggestion.
I actually had a little giggle at Steve's response.
It is so true.
Juliette
Two chapters in quick succession and both excellent - you have earned a few day's rest.
Comment Written 08-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2010
-
Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from FredCollingwood
You've added to the tension with the porn sights (SIC)(sites). Another super posting to add to your story. Excellent as always! It deserves a six, but I keep getting these messages:
You have rewarded this author a six star rating twice in the past thirty days so this rating is not available.
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2010
|
You've added to the tension with the porn sights (SIC)(sites). Another super posting to add to your story. Excellent as always! It deserves a six, but I keep getting these messages:
You have rewarded this author a six star rating twice in the past thirty days so this rating is not available.
Comment Written 08-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2010
-
Thank you for your kind review. Even you thinking about giving me 6 stars is special. I fixed that error.
Comment from fictionwriter
I'm not sure that painting would get my mind off of things. It's too quiet of a thing to do. Interesting chapter. Well done.
I'm afraid once he has time to think about everything(,) he'll decide he was wrong about
. I've had no indication his feelings for you have changed." Dani took Sara's hand. "I'm confident Joe's feelings for you haven't changed."(repetative pharses. I'd just delete the last sentence.)
Once the order's filled(,) the money's placed in legitimate bank accounts
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2010
|
I'm not sure that painting would get my mind off of things. It's too quiet of a thing to do. Interesting chapter. Well done.
I'm afraid once he has time to think about everything(,) he'll decide he was wrong about
. I've had no indication his feelings for you have changed." Dani took Sara's hand. "I'm confident Joe's feelings for you haven't changed."(repetative pharses. I'd just delete the last sentence.)
Once the order's filled(,) the money's placed in legitimate bank accounts
Comment Written 08-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2010
-
I made the changes and deleted the sentence. Thank you for your eagle eye.
