The Predator
A young woman starts a new life.108 total reviews
Comment from Alaskastory
'The Predator' is a story with a good, original presentation. Using her thoughts in italics is helpful. Getting the dog into the story is most amusing. The way this story develops has the sound of "chapter 1". I hope more is to come.
You've done a very fine job on this.
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2010
  |
'The Predator' is a story with a good, original presentation. Using her thoughts in italics is helpful. Getting the dog into the story is most amusing. The way this story develops has the sound of "chapter 1". I hope more is to come.
You've done a very fine job on this.
Comment Written 07-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2010
-
I had not considered writing this into a novel, but many people have suggested it, so a novel is under consideration.
Comment from Readywriter52
Jasmine has come to town for a new start and job. She is literally run over by a bear size dog. But she likes his master, and he convinced her to take a chance with him.
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2010
|
Jasmine has come to town for a new start and job. She is literally run over by a bear size dog. But she likes his master, and he convinced her to take a chance with him.
Comment Written 07-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2010
-
Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Nanashirley
It's a good story and I think the man is a gem I do think it was a little quick from start to finish but other than that I enjoyed reading it.
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2010
|
It's a good story and I think the man is a gem I do think it was a little quick from start to finish but other than that I enjoyed reading it.
Comment Written 07-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2010
-
Thank you for your kind review. I had 1500 words to tell the story in.
Comment from RebelRose
Her husband didn't truly love the real her; only her outer appearance. She was lucky to find Sam. A great story with a happy ending.
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2010
|
Her husband didn't truly love the real her; only her outer appearance. She was lucky to find Sam. A great story with a happy ending.
Comment Written 06-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2010
-
Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from m-alexander
I really liked that you kept that revelation until the end, it had a huge impact. I had it in mind that she had perhaps been raped or injured by someone, so that was a great surprise. Sad, of course, but well delivered. You also kept up with Jasmine's inner concern with her body throughout the piece. Eli does seem overly ideal, but I think he represents hope for all women who suffer through that. Well done and I sincerely hope that the rest of your therapy goes great. Please get better!
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2010
|
I really liked that you kept that revelation until the end, it had a huge impact. I had it in mind that she had perhaps been raped or injured by someone, so that was a great surprise. Sad, of course, but well delivered. You also kept up with Jasmine's inner concern with her body throughout the piece. Eli does seem overly ideal, but I think he represents hope for all women who suffer through that. Well done and I sincerely hope that the rest of your therapy goes great. Please get better!
Comment Written 06-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2010
-
Thank you for your kind review and insight.
Comment from Carolyn Hilliard
A power packed story of survival, strength, some people's shallowness, with an example of how that can cause insecurity, and thank goodness for other people coming into lives. Very good story.
As a cancer survivor, I found during my chemo that keeping little bites of protein helped. I drank V8 fusion drinks so I would get fruits and vegetable benefits. Being tired especially chemo like 2 days following for me was normal. Having food I could just nibble on helped. Blessings my dear. Fiesty.
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2010
|
A power packed story of survival, strength, some people's shallowness, with an example of how that can cause insecurity, and thank goodness for other people coming into lives. Very good story.
As a cancer survivor, I found during my chemo that keeping little bites of protein helped. I drank V8 fusion drinks so I would get fruits and vegetable benefits. Being tired especially chemo like 2 days following for me was normal. Having food I could just nibble on helped. Blessings my dear. Fiesty.
Comment Written 06-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2010
-
Thank you for your suggestions. I am doing protein shakes, but I am wondering if I don't need to do them more than once a day. Thank you for the kind review. Oh any suggestions for the mouth sores.
-
Chlorhexidine Gluconate 0,12% oral rinse. In the US you need a script. It helps, and ice in between. You've probably had Herpes Zoster virus in the past. Don't eat anything real hot (temp or spicy) I did the protein shakes, but the tidbits of meat, esp. chicken cubes allowed me to eat a little when I needed something. Carbs will get your energy up a little, but the protein keeps it going. Feel free to ask about anything I'll do all I can to help you through.
-
Thank you I will talk with my doctor about getting a prescription.
Comment from Majicman
I really enjoyed reading your tender story, and to discover it is based somewhat on the truth. I love the 'happy' ending. It leaves it up to the imagination. Keep resting as you write more of these great stories.
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2010
|
I really enjoyed reading your tender story, and to discover it is based somewhat on the truth. I love the 'happy' ending. It leaves it up to the imagination. Keep resting as you write more of these great stories.
Comment Written 06-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2010
-
Thank you for the kind reviw and encouraging words.
Comment from daymanrayne
I love it. I think the story was well written and the husband should be shot for going for slutty blondes..Anyway, you did a very good job with the story
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2010
|
I love it. I think the story was well written and the husband should be shot for going for slutty blondes..Anyway, you did a very good job with the story
Comment Written 06-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2010
-
Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from juliaSjames
This is an excellent, well-written story, with a bit of doggy humor thrown in for good measure. The message is terrific.
Personally, however, I thought the plot progressed a tad quickly.
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2010
|
This is an excellent, well-written story, with a bit of doggy humor thrown in for good measure. The message is terrific.
Personally, however, I thought the plot progressed a tad quickly.
Comment Written 06-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2010
-
I needed to say it in 1500 words. Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from june prescott
Excellent story-telling with a very compelling plot. I loved the beginning paragraph, it immediately drew me in. The love of your dog shows through and glad you have him to keep you company. I'm sure you have some real-life dog tales, too. Glad to hear you are doing well. Thanks for sharing, JP
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2010
|
Excellent story-telling with a very compelling plot. I loved the beginning paragraph, it immediately drew me in. The love of your dog shows through and glad you have him to keep you company. I'm sure you have some real-life dog tales, too. Glad to hear you are doing well. Thanks for sharing, JP
Comment Written 06-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2010
-
Thank you for your kind review.
-
My pleasure. :) Cheers, JP
