Another Pretty Face
Viewing comments for Chapter 22 "Chaptet 9; part two"Can love survive small town gossip?
71 total reviews
Comment from Jen Gentry
Another really great chapter Barbara, the emotion and pain and fear Sara has for Cassie is palpable, the chapter is well written and do not detect any spag, I hope you are well on this chilly fall eve.
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2010
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Another really great chapter Barbara, the emotion and pain and fear Sara has for Cassie is palpable, the chapter is well written and do not detect any spag, I hope you are well on this chilly fall eve.
Comment Written 01-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2010
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Gena_Marie13
This is a very good chapter. While it is the only one I have read of your story, I definitely plan to read from the beginning.
This picture is also very beautiful.
Very well written.
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2010
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This is a very good chapter. While it is the only one I have read of your story, I definitely plan to read from the beginning.
This picture is also very beautiful.
Very well written.
Comment Written 01-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2010
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Thesis
The tension you've created between Joe and Sara is understandable, given the fact that she's being so sheltered throughout all of this. I like how you have Joe protecting her and how he is the one trying to find Cassie. - John
p.s. You're going through one of the roughest times right now. Don't despair. You could become very mysterious with a few hot wigs for a while. It might lift your spirits.
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2010
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The tension you've created between Joe and Sara is understandable, given the fact that she's being so sheltered throughout all of this. I like how you have Joe protecting her and how he is the one trying to find Cassie. - John
p.s. You're going through one of the roughest times right now. Don't despair. You could become very mysterious with a few hot wigs for a while. It might lift your spirits.
Comment Written 01-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2010
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Oh my, what am I going to do with you? (LOL)
Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from RazberryBullet
Got a chuckle here: I like all the colors but I'm not sure I like them in the same room." ;p
suggestions: When she walked into the living room, she (saw)Joe was on the couch.../When she knelt on the floor beside him. "Oh my." She reached and touched the bloody gash in his arm, Joe said, "Please. Don't, it's nothing.">She knelt on the floor beside him. "Oh my." She touched the bloody gash on his arm. "Please don't worry," Joe said. "It's nothing."/
Well done!
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2010
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Got a chuckle here: I like all the colors but I'm not sure I like them in the same room." ;p
suggestions: When she walked into the living room, she (saw)Joe was on the couch.../When she knelt on the floor beside him. "Oh my." She reached and touched the bloody gash in his arm, Joe said, "Please. Don't, it's nothing.">She knelt on the floor beside him. "Oh my." She touched the bloody gash on his arm. "Please don't worry," Joe said. "It's nothing."/
Well done!
Comment Written 01-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2010
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I will check into those errors. Thank you for your eagle eye.
Comment from Nanashirley
This story has gone from what I thought of as a sappy love story to a terrific drama with a love story entwined. I like it very much and wait for the next chapter.
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2010
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This story has gone from what I thought of as a sappy love story to a terrific drama with a love story entwined. I like it very much and wait for the next chapter.
Comment Written 01-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2010
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Thank you for your kind review. I try to write more than an romance.
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you did it well
Comment from pickthorn
Barbara... I enjoyed reading this chapter. It is very well written and I like the relationship between Sara and Joe. There are a couple of things I wanted to tell you about. On the title of this chapter, you have a typo. You have Chaptet 9. (ending in a T)
Also these two sentences:
When she walked into the living room, she Joe was on the couch ( she ? Joe was on the couch)
When she knelt on the floor beside him. "Oh my." ...
( I think it needs something in there , like 'she said' )
Interesting chapter. I hope the bad effects of the treatment subside soon. Keeping you in my thoughts.
pickthorn
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2010
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Barbara... I enjoyed reading this chapter. It is very well written and I like the relationship between Sara and Joe. There are a couple of things I wanted to tell you about. On the title of this chapter, you have a typo. You have Chaptet 9. (ending in a T)
Also these two sentences:
When she walked into the living room, she Joe was on the couch ( she ? Joe was on the couch)
When she knelt on the floor beside him. "Oh my." ...
( I think it needs something in there , like 'she said' )
Interesting chapter. I hope the bad effects of the treatment subside soon. Keeping you in my thoughts.
pickthorn
Comment Written 01-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2010
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It always amazing to me how many people have read this and didn't notice those mistakes. Thank you for your eagle eye.
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Barbara... I got to thinking maybe a Chaptet was a short version of a Chapter.. LOL but I had never heard of it before, so I thought I would let you know just in case. :o) The other things were easy to overlook I think.
Comment from Mary Faucheux
Great job. The dialogue between Sara and Joe was great. I can feel Sara's anguish through your words. Look forward to the next chapter.
Mary
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2010
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Great job. The dialogue between Sara and Joe was great. I can feel Sara's anguish through your words. Look forward to the next chapter.
Mary
Comment Written 01-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2010
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Shirley McLain
I continue to enjoy this story very much. It is full of intrique. Your dialogue is excellent. Hugs and prayers to you my friend.
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2010
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I continue to enjoy this story very much. It is full of intrique. Your dialogue is excellent. Hugs and prayers to you my friend.
Comment Written 01-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2010
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Sarah_Goldwell
The storyline is really hotting up now, love the turn it's taken. Even though they didn't find Cassie, I also liked the fact that seven other kids were rescued.
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2010
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The storyline is really hotting up now, love the turn it's taken. Even though they didn't find Cassie, I also liked the fact that seven other kids were rescued.
Comment Written 01-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2010
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from L.lora
A wonderful addition,
realistic, great discriptions
and great dialogue. Two small
corrections: "When she walked into the living room, [she (saw?)Joe] was on the couch wearing" and " (When=delete) she knelt on the floor beside him. "Oh my."
Fast paced and holds the reader's
interest through-out. You've showed
the emotions well and pull at the
heart strings. Looking forward
to your next post.
I'm really impressed at how well you
are doing with the writing under the
circumstances (chemo). My prayers will
continue and know that you are in my
thoughts often. God Bless...Lora
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2010
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A wonderful addition,
realistic, great discriptions
and great dialogue. Two small
corrections: "When she walked into the living room, [she (saw?)Joe] was on the couch wearing" and " (When=delete) she knelt on the floor beside him. "Oh my."
Fast paced and holds the reader's
interest through-out. You've showed
the emotions well and pull at the
heart strings. Looking forward
to your next post.
I'm really impressed at how well you
are doing with the writing under the
circumstances (chemo). My prayers will
continue and know that you are in my
thoughts often. God Bless...Lora
Comment Written 01-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2010
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I will take care of that area. Thank you.
