Steve's Poems for Kids
Viewing comments for Chapter 23 "Around My Place"A collection of my children's poems
23 total reviews
Comment from percival86jack
You don't have to be a little kiddie to enjoy this one! LOL And the last line, I'm sure, has those little guys howling... love it! Cheers, Jack
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2010
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You don't have to be a little kiddie to enjoy this one! LOL And the last line, I'm sure, has those little guys howling... love it! Cheers, Jack
Comment Written 20-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2010
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Thanks for the kind words - Yes, I even impressed myself with the ending! Cheers! Sreve
Comment from InterestingRon
I've been reading some of the entries for this contest and yours is a very strong contender indeed. Beautifully crafted with vivid wildlife images. A poem suitable for all ages. Good luck in the contest. Ron
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2010
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I've been reading some of the entries for this contest and yours is a very strong contender indeed. Beautifully crafted with vivid wildlife images. A poem suitable for all ages. Good luck in the contest. Ron
Comment Written 20-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2010
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Ehank you. Personally, I didn't consider that this was the sort of thing that would be a contender, but reviews have all been favorable so who knows?
Comment from Valkarie
Nice piece with a good rhythm and rhyme which captures the magic of your poem so vividly. The description in this piece is so well written and most visual and the poem flows along so well with a concise and powerful flow making this fun piece a most artistic piece of poetry. Well done.
valkarie...
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2010
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Nice piece with a good rhythm and rhyme which captures the magic of your poem so vividly. The description in this piece is so well written and most visual and the poem flows along so well with a concise and powerful flow making this fun piece a most artistic piece of poetry. Well done.
valkarie...
Comment Written 20-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2010
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Thank you for your kind words! Steve
Comment from Triple P
Neat. Cute ending as well. It's nice reading about wildlife that's different than what I am used to. Good luck in the contest.
Patrick.
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2010
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Neat. Cute ending as well. It's nice reading about wildlife that's different than what I am used to. Good luck in the contest.
Patrick.
Comment Written 20-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2010
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Thank you. I enjoyed writing this some time ago. The ending came much later in a flash of inspitation - I just wish I could have hot flashes more often!
Comment from fdgsr
Now I know why it is called Oz. The wonderful animals and plants of Oz could only be from a Wizard. Good luck in your contest.
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2010
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Now I know why it is called Oz. The wonderful animals and plants of Oz could only be from a Wizard. Good luck in your contest.
Comment Written 19-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2010
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Thanks - these are only some of the common creatures - maybe I can do another poem about the wombats, platypuses and koalas!
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We have one of your animals, the O'possum. Possums are awesome with teeth and prehensile tail. I used to hunt 'possum in the Ozarks of Missouri as a youth. I could sell the pelt for 25 cents in the 30s. We also sometimes ate roast possum during the Great Depression of the 30s. A bit fatty but tasty when properly seasoned.
Comment from The Passenger
You live in some rainforest clubhouse? "building her dangling nest" I thought that had a little problem with meter, as well as the last couple lines. Nonetheless, I consider these things minor and overall, you had really nice content. Thank you for your work
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2010
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You live in some rainforest clubhouse? "building her dangling nest" I thought that had a little problem with meter, as well as the last couple lines. Nonetheless, I consider these things minor and overall, you had really nice content. Thank you for your work
Comment Written 19-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2010
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Thanks. Not a clubhouse - just a 200 year old cottage with lots of gardens & TREES
Comment from JSway
I think that children would LOVE this poem. It's imaginative, full of creative, bright color, and energy. I love the animals, real and imagined, and the cheeriness the work's flow. Nice piece!
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2010
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I think that children would LOVE this poem. It's imaginative, full of creative, bright color, and energy. I love the animals, real and imagined, and the cheeriness the work's flow. Nice piece!
Comment Written 18-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2010
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Thank you! I am a little overwhelmed by the sheer volume of positive comment this simple little piece has generated. I AM wondering which of these very real animals and birds you feel is imagined!?
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You're welcome:) You know, scratch that comment. *LOL* I just assumed at least one of them was imaginary because of the colorful names. It's wonderful to find out now that I'm wrong! Nature has such variety!:)
Comment from CarolineZS
I enjoyed your poem. The Australian setting made it intriguing and lively. It was vivid, and the short lines, simple wording and natural rhymes made it a good children's poem. But most of all, the ending works brilliantly. This poem absolutely needed just the right ending and you accomplished that. I can imagine this poem paired up with wonderful illustrations. There could possibly be a way to expand it into one of those short books that mothers read their children at bedtime.
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2010
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I enjoyed your poem. The Australian setting made it intriguing and lively. It was vivid, and the short lines, simple wording and natural rhymes made it a good children's poem. But most of all, the ending works brilliantly. This poem absolutely needed just the right ending and you accomplished that. I can imagine this poem paired up with wonderful illustrations. There could possibly be a way to expand it into one of those short books that mothers read their children at bedtime.
Comment Written 18-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2010
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Thank you. The main part of this poem was written many months ago and has been languishing in the bottom of a drawer. The ending came to me as a bolt from the blue as I was typing the rest of it into FS - I agree it rounds it off perfectly.
Comment from Tushy
A really imaginitive poem for children, with great rhyming and so much fun. Kids will really love the ending! Perfect tone and length for young readers. Loved it!
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2010
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A really imaginitive poem for children, with great rhyming and so much fun. Kids will really love the ending! Perfect tone and length for young readers. Loved it!
Comment Written 18-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2010
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Thank you very much.
Comment from Lois Delaney
This is really a fun poem, dear new writing friend from Australia. I have many friends on Fanstory from Australia.
A really good idea to turn this into a child's picture book. I wish you all the best in your endeavour. Lois
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2010
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This is really a fun poem, dear new writing friend from Australia. I have many friends on Fanstory from Australia.
A really good idea to turn this into a child's picture book. I wish you all the best in your endeavour. Lois
Comment Written 17-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2010
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Thank you for your kind comments - I know what I would like to do with this but have really no idea how to even get started - maybe that's what I have just done by at least putting it out there for others to see.
