Another Pretty Face
Viewing comments for Chapter 19 "Chapter 8; part 1"Can love survive small town gossip?
65 total reviews
Comment from E.P. Thomas
Well-written chapter with as good blend of narrative and descriptive writing. Dialogue's good and helps to pace the plot along at a reasonable speed. Glad to see it ends well. Hope you're feeling better as well.
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2010
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Well-written chapter with as good blend of narrative and descriptive writing. Dialogue's good and helps to pace the plot along at a reasonable speed. Glad to see it ends well. Hope you're feeling better as well.
Comment Written 10-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2010
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from winlaw writer
This story has plenty of suspense and dramatic action that carry the reader along with each character deeply involved in the plot to hold the reader captive until the next chapter
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2010
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This story has plenty of suspense and dramatic action that carry the reader along with each character deeply involved in the plot to hold the reader captive until the next chapter
Comment Written 10-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2010
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from anabelle
Nice to way to end the chapter on a light note, Barbara. It would be so difficult to have your child missing. I don't even want to think about how bad it would be.
Good read. Thank you.
Kind regards,
anabelle
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2010
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Nice to way to end the chapter on a light note, Barbara. It would be so difficult to have your child missing. I don't even want to think about how bad it would be.
Good read. Thank you.
Kind regards,
anabelle
Comment Written 10-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2010
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I agree it would be horrible. Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Roberta Joan Jensen
Interesting concept--paint the living room while waiting!
As he fixed on a photograph of Sara and Cassie s[i]tting on the dresser,
glanced at the rum[p]led blankets. "
Roberta
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2010
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Interesting concept--paint the living room while waiting!
As he fixed on a photograph of Sara and Cassie s[i]tting on the dresser,
glanced at the rum[p]led blankets. "
Roberta
Comment Written 10-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2010
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Thank you for your kind review. I will take care of those error. A friend of mine, another military spouse, and every time her husband deployed she painted. The longer he was gone the more she painted.
Comment from bookishfabler
Gosh, Sounds like you're having a time of it. I misplace my glasses, and had to use old yucky ones. Now I just got new ones and keep the last pair handy which are not so yucky. LOL. Hey, sunglasses are better than bumping into walls.
Okay, here is what I saw with my new glasses.
He swallowed, expecting her to move her hand and was unsure what to do wh
She swallowed and glanced at the rumbled blankets. "While Cassie was abducted, we made love." (There is too much swallowing going on, and I don'tmean it like that.Get your mind out of the gutter. LOL.
He took a deep breath(-,) before he added,
When he slipped it from her shoulders, Sara swallowed. "Sorry, I didn't bother putting my nightgown on."
(The swallowing again)
Pouring a cup of coffee, Joe wished he could hear Sara say she loved him. While he sipped (-his black coffee), he remembered she's never said the words 'I love you'. As he stared at the bathroom door, he sighed. Will the job I love cost me the woman I love.
Joe drank a second cup (-of coffee) and heard a knock on the front door. He answered and watched George hand each man a weapon.
(Now it's cofee, We know what he's drinking from the first sentence.
Oh, you may want to watch the gulping too. Lots of swallowing and gulping. What exactly is gulping anyway? LOL.
Sara watched(-,) as Joe exited through the door with Jim and Derek following behind.
You're under duress. I better choose the color."
(great funny ending line
lots of hugs
book
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2010
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Gosh, Sounds like you're having a time of it. I misplace my glasses, and had to use old yucky ones. Now I just got new ones and keep the last pair handy which are not so yucky. LOL. Hey, sunglasses are better than bumping into walls.
Okay, here is what I saw with my new glasses.
He swallowed, expecting her to move her hand and was unsure what to do wh
She swallowed and glanced at the rumbled blankets. "While Cassie was abducted, we made love." (There is too much swallowing going on, and I don'tmean it like that.Get your mind out of the gutter. LOL.
He took a deep breath(-,) before he added,
When he slipped it from her shoulders, Sara swallowed. "Sorry, I didn't bother putting my nightgown on."
(The swallowing again)
Pouring a cup of coffee, Joe wished he could hear Sara say she loved him. While he sipped (-his black coffee), he remembered she's never said the words 'I love you'. As he stared at the bathroom door, he sighed. Will the job I love cost me the woman I love.
Joe drank a second cup (-of coffee) and heard a knock on the front door. He answered and watched George hand each man a weapon.
(Now it's cofee, We know what he's drinking from the first sentence.
Oh, you may want to watch the gulping too. Lots of swallowing and gulping. What exactly is gulping anyway? LOL.
Sara watched(-,) as Joe exited through the door with Jim and Derek following behind.
You're under duress. I better choose the color."
(great funny ending line
lots of hugs
book
Comment Written 10-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2010
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I will take care of the gulping and swallowing and coffee. Thank you for your keen eye, new glasses.
Comment from Sarah_Goldwell
Another well written chapter, the storyline is progressing well and I like the bit with the ATM picking up a good picture of SUV plate. I know Sarah is very moral, but it struck me as strange that Joe would sleep away from her at time like that. I know she wouldn't want Cassie to come home and find them in bed together, but the way you have portrayed his character he strikes me as the kind of man who would sleep stationed outside her door rather than leave her alone with her grief.
Also you might want to think about rephrasing this line [As he pulled her closer, she felt a bulge on his left side.] - could just be my dirty mind but I pictured him dressing to the left lol, I think it's the word 'bulge that did it ;-)
Not too sure about Dani bringing the candles and bubble bath either, it just sit right. Just an opinion of course, but it seemed more like something Joe might have brought over himself, with a romantic evening in mind. I liked the idea of it, though. It adds to thoughtfulness of his character and is in keeping with the way you have portrayed him.
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2010
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Another well written chapter, the storyline is progressing well and I like the bit with the ATM picking up a good picture of SUV plate. I know Sarah is very moral, but it struck me as strange that Joe would sleep away from her at time like that. I know she wouldn't want Cassie to come home and find them in bed together, but the way you have portrayed his character he strikes me as the kind of man who would sleep stationed outside her door rather than leave her alone with her grief.
Also you might want to think about rephrasing this line [As he pulled her closer, she felt a bulge on his left side.] - could just be my dirty mind but I pictured him dressing to the left lol, I think it's the word 'bulge that did it ;-)
Not too sure about Dani bringing the candles and bubble bath either, it just sit right. Just an opinion of course, but it seemed more like something Joe might have brought over himself, with a romantic evening in mind. I liked the idea of it, though. It adds to thoughtfulness of his character and is in keeping with the way you have portrayed him.
Comment Written 10-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2010
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Thank you for your kind review. I will recheck those areas.
Comment from cheyennewy
Hi Barbara,
I never want your story about Joe and Sara to end..but end they must so you can post another chapter. I can't help but wonder why Sara has never told Joe she loves him, cuz I think she does. Maybe she is afraid she might lose him and doesn't want to admit to herself how much she cares for him. I hope Cassie returns home without being harmed...oh the suspense! Well done. Blessings, chey
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2010
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Hi Barbara,
I never want your story about Joe and Sara to end..but end they must so you can post another chapter. I can't help but wonder why Sara has never told Joe she loves him, cuz I think she does. Maybe she is afraid she might lose him and doesn't want to admit to herself how much she cares for him. I hope Cassie returns home without being harmed...oh the suspense! Well done. Blessings, chey
Comment Written 10-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2010
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Thank you for your review. I think you are right, Sara is afraid of being hurt.
Comment from M.L. Gardner
You have a talent for this. Your language is simple yet provide descriptions the reader can see in their head as they read. This is the first chapter I have read but I am going to print from the beginning at work tonight and get caught up on my breaks. Are you publishing this? Wonderful job. I can't wait to read more.
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2010
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You have a talent for this. Your language is simple yet provide descriptions the reader can see in their head as they read. This is the first chapter I have read but I am going to print from the beginning at work tonight and get caught up on my breaks. Are you publishing this? Wonderful job. I can't wait to read more.
Comment Written 10-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2010
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I hope to find a pubisher. Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Begin Again
Barbara,
I've been away for so long and have truly missed my friends. I am thrilled that I did not miss the suspense of your story and I love the interaction you are so easily portraying between Sara and Joe.
The story is truly a compelling piece. Great job!
Hope you are doing well...
smiles to you, Carol
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2010
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Barbara,
I've been away for so long and have truly missed my friends. I am thrilled that I did not miss the suspense of your story and I love the interaction you are so easily portraying between Sara and Joe.
The story is truly a compelling piece. Great job!
Hope you are doing well...
smiles to you, Carol
Comment Written 10-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2010
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Thank you for your kind review. We miss you, stay around longer this time.
Comment from FredCollingwood
**She swallowed and glanced at the rumbled blankets. "While Cassie was abducted, we made love."**
What a great addition to emphasize the feeling of guilt. I can't imagine their pain. I was captivated from beginning to end!
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2010
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**She swallowed and glanced at the rumbled blankets. "While Cassie was abducted, we made love."**
What a great addition to emphasize the feeling of guilt. I can't imagine their pain. I was captivated from beginning to end!
Comment Written 10-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2010
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Thank you for your kind review. Coming from an expert writer as yourself. I am honored.
