True
Kyrielle37 total reviews
Comment from Matoshka
This was so well written. I could feel John's excitement as he joined the service, the fear and death. Your words flowed and had a beat to it. I enjoyed reading this so much, it is a tribute to all soldiers who have died in all the wars. Thank you for sharing and great writing.
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2010
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This was so well written. I could feel John's excitement as he joined the service, the fear and death. Your words flowed and had a beat to it. I enjoyed reading this so much, it is a tribute to all soldiers who have died in all the wars. Thank you for sharing and great writing.
Comment Written 12-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2010
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Hi Matoshka,
wow thank you for such a great review, it is very encouraging! - Cally :)))
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You are so very welcome Cally, I enjoyed it very much.
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Thank you :)))
Comment from closetpoetjester
Great job on this piece of poetic marvellousness Cally.
A fluid and very metered read and it described the horror of war despite the fun the young man thought he was going to have.
You told a beaut little story, quite a harrowing one as well and I think WAR is such a waste of space.
A sad and very reflective read and the first verse was my absolute fave. Nice work, well penned and thoughtfully expressed.
Cheers closet xo
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2010
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Great job on this piece of poetic marvellousness Cally.
A fluid and very metered read and it described the horror of war despite the fun the young man thought he was going to have.
You told a beaut little story, quite a harrowing one as well and I think WAR is such a waste of space.
A sad and very reflective read and the first verse was my absolute fave. Nice work, well penned and thoughtfully expressed.
Cheers closet xo
Comment Written 12-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2010
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Hi cpj,
thank you so much for your detailed and very encouraging review! You know how I told you I had problems with meter, well this took 2 months to write! (on and off) A few minutes to jot down the message of each stanza, and several hours to turn it into metered form! LOL
Thanks again and take care - Cally :)))
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Oh goodness, well then it was worth the wait Cally!
Well done my dear.
cpj xxxxx
Comment from Rdfrdmom2
fairydancer:
these 11 quatrains of your kyrielle
tell a story that is all too true
and has been all too true for thousands
of years -- yes, sometimes war is a
necessary evil but to wish for it to end
is to be desired
thanks for sharing
good luck in the contest
love,
jan
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2010
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fairydancer:
these 11 quatrains of your kyrielle
tell a story that is all too true
and has been all too true for thousands
of years -- yes, sometimes war is a
necessary evil but to wish for it to end
is to be desired
thanks for sharing
good luck in the contest
love,
jan
Comment Written 12-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2010
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Hi Jan,
thank you so much for sharing your kind thoughts, and for reviewing, your comments are much appreciated - Cally :)))
Comment from Loyd C. Taylor, Sr
Hello poet friend and yet another very true and wonderfully written poem. Thank you for the message.
Thanks again for using my photo, I am honored. Loyd
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2010
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Hello poet friend and yet another very true and wonderfully written poem. Thank you for the message.
Thanks again for using my photo, I am honored. Loyd
Comment Written 12-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2010
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Hi Loyd,
thank you so much for reading and reviewing, and most of all, for the stunning photo which really set off the poem - quite a few reviewers commented on that! Have a great day - Cally :)))
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My pleasure and you are so kind, Loyd
Comment from Dom G Robles
This poem with the artwork is expressive of the theme of the poem. The poem began, "Young John eighteen,a vibrant flame he saw the army as a game, His parentts said he had no cue there was never anything more true." So bad in the war, he got shot and later died. "His parents tightly held his dog tags,that's all they are left with,and the flag(plus compensation money due)--there never was a thing more true."
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2010
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This poem with the artwork is expressive of the theme of the poem. The poem began, "Young John eighteen,a vibrant flame he saw the army as a game, His parentts said he had no cue there was never anything more true." So bad in the war, he got shot and later died. "His parents tightly held his dog tags,that's all they are left with,and the flag(plus compensation money due)--there never was a thing more true."
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 12-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2010
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Hi Dom G Robles,
thank you for reviewing, and for your kind comments - Cally :)
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You are very welcome, Dom.
Comment from kovarou
this was a great poem with a expert set out , great photo and i have an uncle and aunty in the army so it appealed to me greatly, you use very good descriptions of the persons life in the army and how he started happy about it and ended feeling like he had something to owe to his country for dying, its just terrific thanks for the terrific poem =]
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2010
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this was a great poem with a expert set out , great photo and i have an uncle and aunty in the army so it appealed to me greatly, you use very good descriptions of the persons life in the army and how he started happy about it and ended feeling like he had something to owe to his country for dying, its just terrific thanks for the terrific poem =]
Comment Written 12-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2010
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Hi kovarou,
welcome to FanStory, and thank you so much for reading and for your thought-filled review, and very encouraging comments. They are much appreciated - Cally :)))
Comment from daniela.albu
Indeed repetition is not bothersome in your Kyrielle but it reveals so more meanings for the word "true" telling the tragic universal story of young heroes that die in hope for a better world but most of the times in useless wars. The rhyme is musical and elegiac fitting the context.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2010
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Indeed repetition is not bothersome in your Kyrielle but it reveals so more meanings for the word "true" telling the tragic universal story of young heroes that die in hope for a better world but most of the times in useless wars. The rhyme is musical and elegiac fitting the context.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 12-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2010
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Hi daniela.albu,
thank you so much for your thought-filled review and very supportive comments! And thank you for teaching me a new word too! I had to look "elegiac" up in the dictionary, it's a cool word. Thanks again - Cally :)
