True
Kyrielle37 total reviews
Comment from Ankh
I think you have done really well with this one. The flow and rhythm are great. The rhyme works well. Sadly war is glamorised. I have seen the other side of it. Well done :-)~
Seth
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2010
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I think you have done really well with this one. The flow and rhythm are great. The rhyme works well. Sadly war is glamorised. I have seen the other side of it. Well done :-)~
Seth
Comment Written 13-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2010
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Hi Seth,
I am not even going to tell you how long this one took to write! LOL I am still finding this "metre" thing a challenge!!
Thank you so much for all your reviews, I always love reading them!
That "other side" you talk about must have been hard?
Take care and have a good evening - Cally :)))
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Thanks hun :-)~ x
Comment from miss joyce
First off, let me thank you for the notes. It was helpful in understanding the overall intent of structure. I have to totally agree that war is destructive and evil. Although it's been going on in the history of the world since beginning. You've written an excellent piece showing lose of young men. Dieing for what?
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2010
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First off, let me thank you for the notes. It was helpful in understanding the overall intent of structure. I have to totally agree that war is destructive and evil. Although it's been going on in the history of the world since beginning. You've written an excellent piece showing lose of young men. Dieing for what?
Comment Written 13-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2010
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Hi miss joyce,
thank you so much for reviewing, and for sharing your thoughts about war, it just seems such a terrible waste of life, doesn't it?
Thanks again - Cally :)
Comment from Nic42
The repeating line drives home the meaning. I like how you alternated the meaning of the word. What a sad and 'true' story.
Thank you for sharing this peice.
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2010
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The repeating line drives home the meaning. I like how you alternated the meaning of the word. What a sad and 'true' story.
Thank you for sharing this peice.
Comment Written 13-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2010
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Hi Nic42,
and thank you so much for reviewing! I am glad you liked the repeating line. Thanks again - Cally :)
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written with good form and good flow, a great poem about the brutality of war and the lives that are lost in honor and representation to their country.
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2010
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this is very well written with good form and good flow, a great poem about the brutality of war and the lives that are lost in honor and representation to their country.
Comment Written 13-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2010
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Hi sweetwoodjax,
thank you so much for reviewing and for your kind comments - Cally :)
Comment from Triple P
Very nice kyrielle. Engrossing narrative combined with a wonderful lesson at the end. It's got to be hard for those 'leaders' to keep speaking empty words that can't make up for a family's loss.
Good luck in the contest.
Patrick.
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2010
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Very nice kyrielle. Engrossing narrative combined with a wonderful lesson at the end. It's got to be hard for those 'leaders' to keep speaking empty words that can't make up for a family's loss.
Good luck in the contest.
Patrick.
Comment Written 13-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2010
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Hi Patrick,
thank you for your great review, loved the "engrossing" part! LOL
Thanks again - Cally :)
Comment from RKagan
The end to all war would be a wonderful thing. You are so right in your sentiments. So many young lives have been lost. This is a great poem
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2010
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The end to all war would be a wonderful thing. You are so right in your sentiments. So many young lives have been lost. This is a great poem
Comment Written 13-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2010
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Hi Roberta,
thank you so much for reading and reviewing, your comments are very appreciated - Cally :)
Comment from Trybuck
I really enjoyed this fine read
I read it over with less speed
To make it better, I haven't a clue
There never was a thing more true
I reckon Miss Brooke taught you well or at least was a great inspiration.
Very well done as far as I can tell, Buck
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2010
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I really enjoyed this fine read
I read it over with less speed
To make it better, I haven't a clue
There never was a thing more true
I reckon Miss Brooke taught you well or at least was a great inspiration.
Very well done as far as I can tell, Buck
Comment Written 13-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2010
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Hi Buck,
thank you so much for your extremely encouraging review! (and sorry for the late reply)
Yes, Brooke's beautiful poems are very inspiring, I love how she introduces us to new forms, and always tells us how to create our own in her author's notes - she has a kind heart, I think.
Thanks again - Cally :)))
Comment from Tushy
A really powerful piece of work, which conveys the futility of war with great intensity. Strong imagery and a sure rhythm. A really accomplished poem, I thought it was excellently written.
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2010
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A really powerful piece of work, which conveys the futility of war with great intensity. Strong imagery and a sure rhythm. A really accomplished poem, I thought it was excellently written.
Comment Written 13-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2010
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Hi Tushy, (cool pen name btw!)
thank you so much for reviewing, and for your wonderfully encouraging comments! Cheers - Cally :)))
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Hi Tushy, (cool pen name btw!)
thank you so much for reviewing, and for your wonderfully encouraging comments! Cheers - Cally :)))
Comment from psalmist
This was outstanding. You did an excellent job. Each time I read the line, "there never was a thing more true," I felt an arrow pierce my heart. A sad and haunting tribute to those who lose their lives when countries cannot work out their problems without resorting to bloodshed.
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2010
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This was outstanding. You did an excellent job. Each time I read the line, "there never was a thing more true," I felt an arrow pierce my heart. A sad and haunting tribute to those who lose their lives when countries cannot work out their problems without resorting to bloodshed.
Comment Written 13-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2010
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Hi psalmist, thank you so much for your enthusiastic and oh so encouraging review - much appreciated! Cally :)))
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Hi psalmist, thank you so much for your enthusiastic and oh so encouraging review - much appreciated! Cally :)))
Comment from adewpearl
Cally, what an effective use of the kyrielle's refrain line in this moving and poignant story poem of a young man fallen victim to the tragedies of war. Your poem is well-composed with strong rhyming couplets and good flow, the refrain line is compelling and the story is filled with details that draw the reader in. Brooke
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2010
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Cally, what an effective use of the kyrielle's refrain line in this moving and poignant story poem of a young man fallen victim to the tragedies of war. Your poem is well-composed with strong rhyming couplets and good flow, the refrain line is compelling and the story is filled with details that draw the reader in. Brooke
Comment Written 13-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2010
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Hi Brooke,
how long ago was it that I said I would like to write a kyrielle? Well it took me about 2 months on and off to complete it, but I've done it! LOL
I am still finding meter very difficult, it takes me a loooooong time! But hopefully with practise, that will improve.
Thank you so much for inspiring this poem, with all your beautiful kyrielles. And thank you for your detailed review and encouraging comments!! I'm chuffed you found the refrain "compelling".
Have a good evening - Cally :)))
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Hey, often the best stuff is not an overnight process! :-)
