In Dreams
Waiting for a better day...27 total reviews
Comment from Minglement
Excellent choice of words and poem form to convey this eerie feeling. I think you definitely made your tanka pivot with the dawning light. Well done. Well done. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2010
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Excellent choice of words and poem form to convey this eerie feeling. I think you definitely made your tanka pivot with the dawning light. Well done. Well done. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 02-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2010
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Hi there Mingle! Thank you!! Your review is very encouraging to me! I really appreciate your time to let me know you like this! ") Thank you again! Susan
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You're very welcome, Susan. Take care, Marcia
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
What a clever use of
words in this Tanka poem,
Susan - and such an apt
picture to enhance.
Good luck with the contest, my friend.
Margaret.
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2010
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What a clever use of
words in this Tanka poem,
Susan - and such an apt
picture to enhance.
Good luck with the contest, my friend.
Margaret.
Comment Written 02-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2010
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Hi Margaret! Thank you!! I did love this picture! Very eerie, yet pretty too? Thanks for a great review! I always appreciate your thoughts Margaret!! Hope you are keeping warm?? I have the darn heat on today of all things! "( Brrrrrr. ") Susan
Comment from chita
You have great artwork and your arthor notes are superb--you have a good flow with your poem--you write about how from the dead spectrums comes a new day and light overcomes the dark-great job.
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2010
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You have great artwork and your arthor notes are superb--you have a good flow with your poem--you write about how from the dead spectrums comes a new day and light overcomes the dark-great job.
Comment Written 02-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2010
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Hi Chita! Thank you so much!! I wasn't sure, I read more about this form and tried to do what they say...I have a lot to learn, that's for sure! Thank you so much!! ") Susan
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You're welcome:))
Comment from anne1204
I loved the positive shift in this poem. I guess I will learn about Tanka in the class I am taking. Your poetry is just getting better and better. Anne 1204
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2010
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I loved the positive shift in this poem. I guess I will learn about Tanka in the class I am taking. Your poetry is just getting better and better. Anne 1204
Comment Written 02-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2010
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Hi Anne, wow, thank you. You are so positive, and always encouraging me to keep at it, for which I am so grateful! It's neat that you are taking a class, I wish I could afford it. What fun. Thanks Anne, you're the best. ") Susan
Comment from Trybuck
From a novice point of view, the shift came in the third line but there was a definite change. I would say very well done as is but since it is a contest entry, I would seek the advice from someone that knows.
Well done, Buck
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2010
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From a novice point of view, the shift came in the third line but there was a definite change. I would say very well done as is but since it is a contest entry, I would seek the advice from someone that knows.
Well done, Buck
Comment Written 02-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2010
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Hi Buck! Thanks! I am not sure of what I am doing, but tried to follow what AlvinTEthington said? He is a good poet to learn from too! I sure appreciate your time to let me know your thoughts Buck!! GOOD to hear from you!! Susan
Comment from Triple P
Very nice. The last two lines work well with the third and its 'shift' from the first two. I know next to nothing about Tanka poems, but this one is wonderful. Good luck in the contest.
Patrick.
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2010
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Very nice. The last two lines work well with the third and its 'shift' from the first two. I know next to nothing about Tanka poems, but this one is wonderful. Good luck in the contest.
Patrick.
Comment Written 02-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2010
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Hi Patrick! Thank you! Me too, I just tried to follow the rules? as I understood, and am not sure, but so far people like this? Thank you, what a very kind and encouraging review! I appreciate!! Susan
Comment from LateBloomer
Hello Realist101,
A most interesting Tanka. It reads and flows well and I have no suggestion for improvement. I particularly liked the following lines:
Light of morning shines anew
Bidding darkened dreams, "adieu" ...
(hope for the future)
Regards, LateBloomer
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2010
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Hello Realist101,
A most interesting Tanka. It reads and flows well and I have no suggestion for improvement. I particularly liked the following lines:
Light of morning shines anew
Bidding darkened dreams, "adieu" ...
(hope for the future)
Regards, LateBloomer
Comment Written 02-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2010
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Hi Bloomer!! Thank you! I was thinking, those in Purgatory can come into the lightm, or something? It's a fun style, I hope you will try it too! Thank you for being so kind and encouraging too!! ") Susan
Comment from psalmist
I am not sure of the exact format myself, but I really like your poem. You start out eerie, haunting, then end on a positive note: morning dispels the darkness. Great job.
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2010
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I am not sure of the exact format myself, but I really like your poem. You start out eerie, haunting, then end on a positive note: morning dispels the darkness. Great job.
Comment Written 02-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2010
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Hi there!! Thank you very much! SO glad you liked this little ditty. I appreciate your taking a minute for me, this is so great! Happy writing Psalmist!!! ") Susan
Comment from missy98writer
Susan,
wow, this is the best Tanka poem I've ever read. I wish I had a well deserved six stars to give you, but I'm flat out so I have to reluctantly give you a "Virtual Six." Your art work is perfection with the ghost of a lady in white. Your Tanks is in perfect form and syllable count. Brilliant use of alliteration and metaphors such as spectral shadows shift, comes a new day, morning shines anew and bidding darkened dreams. Your Tanks poem is an awesome entry in the contest. Good luck to you in the contest. It was a delight to read your wonderful writing. Have a nice weekend.
Melissa.
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2010
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Susan,
wow, this is the best Tanka poem I've ever read. I wish I had a well deserved six stars to give you, but I'm flat out so I have to reluctantly give you a "Virtual Six." Your art work is perfection with the ghost of a lady in white. Your Tanks is in perfect form and syllable count. Brilliant use of alliteration and metaphors such as spectral shadows shift, comes a new day, morning shines anew and bidding darkened dreams. Your Tanks poem is an awesome entry in the contest. Good luck to you in the contest. It was a delight to read your wonderful writing. Have a nice weekend.
Melissa.
Comment Written 02-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2010
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Melissa!! What a wonderful review. I know, I am always out of them too soon too. Wish they would allot us a few more? Ha. Thank you for this detailed review. Your kindness shines through each time I hear from you, and always makes my day. What a DELIGHTFUL personality you have Melissa. You are the best! HUGS!! Susan
Comment from barbara.wilkey
There's no way I can tell you it your tanka is correct or not. I am not a poet, but I did enjoy reading it and I thought there was a pivot.
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2010
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There's no way I can tell you it your tanka is correct or not. I am not a poet, but I did enjoy reading it and I thought there was a pivot.
Comment Written 02-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2010
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Hi Barbara! Thank you, I tried with this, just don't know the real way to do it! It is fun tho! I am real happy to hear from you Barb, and I hope you are doing well!! HUGS! Susan
