Another Pretty Face
Viewing comments for Chapter 17 "Chapter 7; part two"Can love survive small town gossip?
80 total reviews
Comment from Eddie Z
Another great piece of writing. Flows brilliantly with really good introduction of new characters. Love the descriptive narrations and the way your dialogue just gets everyone in.
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2010
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Another great piece of writing. Flows brilliantly with really good introduction of new characters. Love the descriptive narrations and the way your dialogue just gets everyone in.
Comment Written 29-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2010
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Beans
It's been a while since I've reviewed. I've had to take a break for school. I must say my heart goes out to you, and I'll be thinking of you in October. I think you are incredibly brave, and I admire you so, so much. I'm only a teenager, and I can't even imagine someone I love going through what you are.
That being said, I enjoyed this chapter, I've been following along for a while now, and this isn't exactly the type of 'story' I usually read, but I'm enjoying it. The one comment I would make is that it was a bit hard to keep track of what was going on in the very beginning. I felt slightly confused about Joe and Roy, and who everyone was; but I quickly sorted it out. Great job, the story's moving along nicely.
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2010
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It's been a while since I've reviewed. I've had to take a break for school. I must say my heart goes out to you, and I'll be thinking of you in October. I think you are incredibly brave, and I admire you so, so much. I'm only a teenager, and I can't even imagine someone I love going through what you are.
That being said, I enjoyed this chapter, I've been following along for a while now, and this isn't exactly the type of 'story' I usually read, but I'm enjoying it. The one comment I would make is that it was a bit hard to keep track of what was going on in the very beginning. I felt slightly confused about Joe and Roy, and who everyone was; but I quickly sorted it out. Great job, the story's moving along nicely.
Comment Written 29-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2010
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Thank you for your kind review. I introduced everybody in detail in the earlier chapters.
Comment from afternoonlight
Disapointing for me, this is again unrealistic and to have that conversation and the fighting acitivies when your daughter is missing doesn't gel for me. Its not that its bad just happening at the wrong time. I can't believe the policeman would say that to Sara and threaten to arrest her at that moment. Duty to find a missing child must come before insulting the mother.
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2010
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Disapointing for me, this is again unrealistic and to have that conversation and the fighting acitivies when your daughter is missing doesn't gel for me. Its not that its bad just happening at the wrong time. I can't believe the policeman would say that to Sara and threaten to arrest her at that moment. Duty to find a missing child must come before insulting the mother.
Comment Written 29-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2010
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Not in a very small rural town, who didn't believe the daughter was missing. That's the reason I spent so much time developing the small town environment. Thank you for your review.
Comment from Angelite
wow, talk about getting thrown in the deep end lol.
first chapter that i have caught, and catch it did.
Lot of things happening, moves along with a tremendous pace.
good dialogue
good use of feelings, both of love, fear and mistrust.
Angel
ps, author notes; best wishes for the chemo and radiation.
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2010
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wow, talk about getting thrown in the deep end lol.
first chapter that i have caught, and catch it did.
Lot of things happening, moves along with a tremendous pace.
good dialogue
good use of feelings, both of love, fear and mistrust.
Angel
ps, author notes; best wishes for the chemo and radiation.
Comment Written 29-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2010
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Thank you for your well wishes. I appreciate your kind review.
Comment from Connie P
First, congratulations on what seems to be great news on your condition. I'm sure facing chemo, etc. may not feel like good news but the fact that the disease hasn't spread is wonderful.
This chapter certainly clarifies what happened to Sara. When Sara meets Dani they sidetrack onto introductions and questions, if it were my 14 year old daughter missing I wouldn't be concerned about anything except locating her. I'm exhausted from our move and probably a little punchy, but I wondered if that information wouldn't be better placed after the urgency of Cassie's disappearance has passed.
The chapter is spag free and well done.
Connie
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2010
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First, congratulations on what seems to be great news on your condition. I'm sure facing chemo, etc. may not feel like good news but the fact that the disease hasn't spread is wonderful.
This chapter certainly clarifies what happened to Sara. When Sara meets Dani they sidetrack onto introductions and questions, if it were my 14 year old daughter missing I wouldn't be concerned about anything except locating her. I'm exhausted from our move and probably a little punchy, but I wondered if that information wouldn't be better placed after the urgency of Cassie's disappearance has passed.
The chapter is spag free and well done.
Connie
Comment Written 29-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2010
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Maybe you are right. I will reconsider that area, but she is entrusting Joe to find Cassie.
Comment from Ponder
Hi Barbara,
THis is another great chapter, Chip and Roy are well portrasyed as nasty characters - especially Roy. Maybe now they will take Cassie's disapearence seriously.
No errors that I could see.
good luck with the treatment. I had radiotherapy a few years ago and it knocked me for six. My advice is to go with what your body tells you, if it tells you to stay in bed, go with it! the fatigue doesn't last long.
Jules
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2010
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Hi Barbara,
THis is another great chapter, Chip and Roy are well portrasyed as nasty characters - especially Roy. Maybe now they will take Cassie's disapearence seriously.
No errors that I could see.
good luck with the treatment. I had radiotherapy a few years ago and it knocked me for six. My advice is to go with what your body tells you, if it tells you to stay in bed, go with it! the fatigue doesn't last long.
Jules
Comment Written 29-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2010
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From what I understand, I really won't have a choice. I am hoping I miss no more than one day of school per treatment. Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from patmedium
EXCELLENT. Beautifully told with plenty of strong emotional feed. (In case you were wondering, Barbara, your operations have NOT shown any effect on your writing). xxx
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2010
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EXCELLENT. Beautifully told with plenty of strong emotional feed. (In case you were wondering, Barbara, your operations have NOT shown any effect on your writing). xxx
Comment Written 29-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2010
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Thank you for your kind review. I was afraid my writing was suffering. Thank you for your comment.
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My pleasure. xx
Comment from Auroraboreal800
Hi Barbara,
I'm so happy to hear the excellent news on your health.
I am enjoying this chapter very much, I liked the very good action and dialogues. It feels very personable. Please, hurry up with the follow up then.
My prayers are with you as always,
:)
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2010
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Hi Barbara,
I'm so happy to hear the excellent news on your health.
I am enjoying this chapter very much, I liked the very good action and dialogues. It feels very personable. Please, hurry up with the follow up then.
My prayers are with you as always,
:)
Comment Written 29-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2010
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Thank you for your prayers and your kind review.
Comment from Nicnac
First of all, I want to tell you how happy I am that the biopsy showed no additional cancer. Whew! Soooo happy. :)
Great, action packed chapter, Barbara.
Sara reared back and slugged him in the jaw.
I'm glad Sara got a good punch in, and even more glad (more glad? lol) that Roy got the piss beat out of him by Joe. Wooohooo!
I like Dani. She is very personable.
One small suggestion: filled it with ice and water, then took slow sips. (I think AND took slow sips, rather than THEN would sound better.)
I could picture the scene with ease. I look forward to seeing what Dani finds out on her computer search.
Well done, Barbara. Sorry for the late review. I've been extremely busy the past week and a half. We are doing stuff to the yard, I cleaned out my storage room and getting ready for my baby sister's visit next week. Woohoo! We are going to the North Georgia mountains for a week. yay. :)
Love and continued prayers,
Nic
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2010
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First of all, I want to tell you how happy I am that the biopsy showed no additional cancer. Whew! Soooo happy. :)
Great, action packed chapter, Barbara.
Sara reared back and slugged him in the jaw.
I'm glad Sara got a good punch in, and even more glad (more glad? lol) that Roy got the piss beat out of him by Joe. Wooohooo!
I like Dani. She is very personable.
One small suggestion: filled it with ice and water, then took slow sips. (I think AND took slow sips, rather than THEN would sound better.)
I could picture the scene with ease. I look forward to seeing what Dani finds out on her computer search.
Well done, Barbara. Sorry for the late review. I've been extremely busy the past week and a half. We are doing stuff to the yard, I cleaned out my storage room and getting ready for my baby sister's visit next week. Woohoo! We are going to the North Georgia mountains for a week. yay. :)
Love and continued prayers,
Nic
Comment Written 29-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2010
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I was wondering about that sentence myself. I made the change. I hope you and baby sister have fun. I always enjoy when family comes. It forces me to do major house cleaning. Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Jen Gentry
You deserve the ratings you have. Very well written you have done your editing very very well I can not see even tiny little spag. Great storyline with vivid characters.
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2010
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You deserve the ratings you have. Very well written you have done your editing very very well I can not see even tiny little spag. Great storyline with vivid characters.
Comment Written 28-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2010
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Thank you for your kind review.
