Another Pretty Face
Viewing comments for Chapter 16 "Chapter 7; part one"Can love survive small town gossip?
73 total reviews
Comment from Patrick G Cox
Hi Barbara,
Looks like someone has tipped the cartels off then. Now I wonder what nasty type would do that?
Good tension here and good descriptions of the people involved.
Patrick
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2010
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Hi Barbara,
Looks like someone has tipped the cartels off then. Now I wonder what nasty type would do that?
Good tension here and good descriptions of the people involved.
Patrick
Comment Written 25-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2010
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Thank you for your kind review. I have been missing your posts. Is everything all right?
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Hi Barbara, yes, I'm fine, but editing two MSs for publication and writing a textbook for which they're actually paying me... Plus, bought a new computer yesterday and now I'm battling to transfer everything onto it...
Patrick
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You are definitely busy. WOW!!!
Comment from K. L. Bauman
Another clean and captivating chapter. The element of suspense is escalating, making me just want to jump right in to the next chapter. (And glad to hear things are looking up for you!)
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2010
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Another clean and captivating chapter. The element of suspense is escalating, making me just want to jump right in to the next chapter. (And glad to hear things are looking up for you!)
Comment Written 25-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2010
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Thank you for your kind review and continued support.
Comment from Juliette Chamberlain
First, I am so pleased that the news is good in relation to your health.
Wow, you are a real fighter still managing to get another chapter posted - well done!
It's a great chapter as well. How frightening that Cassie is missing, and may have been kidnapped.
I could feel the tension.
Juliette
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2010
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First, I am so pleased that the news is good in relation to your health.
Wow, you are a real fighter still managing to get another chapter posted - well done!
It's a great chapter as well. How frightening that Cassie is missing, and may have been kidnapped.
I could feel the tension.
Juliette
Comment Written 25-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2010
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Thank you for your kind revew and continued support.
Comment from KayteeF
I had no problem reading and understanding this chapter, part one.
The story flows well, the dialogue is cleverly done, and anticipation of danger is at an all time high.
I look forward to the next part.
By the way glad to see you are continuing to be on the mend.
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2010
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I had no problem reading and understanding this chapter, part one.
The story flows well, the dialogue is cleverly done, and anticipation of danger is at an all time high.
I look forward to the next part.
By the way glad to see you are continuing to be on the mend.
Comment Written 25-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2010
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from minopavlic
Barbara, you are constantly within our prayers. I'm glad the balance of the scales are turning in your favor, Praise The Name of The Lord.
Reading your words, which in thier unique elegance flow brilliantly, leaving an inspiring awe in thier wake.
Mino
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2010
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Barbara, you are constantly within our prayers. I'm glad the balance of the scales are turning in your favor, Praise The Name of The Lord.
Reading your words, which in thier unique elegance flow brilliantly, leaving an inspiring awe in thier wake.
Mino
Comment Written 25-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2010
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Thank you for your kind review and continued support.
Comment from Kashif Ali Abbas
Another well written chapter. I missed a few previous ones, but still reading it was a wonderful experience. The characterization is all perfect and the ending was prompt and suitable.
well done
K
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2010
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Another well written chapter. I missed a few previous ones, but still reading it was a wonderful experience. The characterization is all perfect and the ending was prompt and suitable.
well done
K
Comment Written 25-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2010
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Jonez08
First, praise the Lord for the good report, awesome! Interesting chapter and a new twist on the story. I can only imagine how upsetting this will be for Sarah and I'm sure she'll somehow blame herself. I hope she'll be okay. If the story line involves a predator, I would suggest removing the part about Joe's gut feeling because that's telling the story before it happens. If not, then it could work. I look forward to the next.
she glanced at Joe as she hung up (the phone).
--to tighten consider removing. Since she clutched the phone to her chest, I think you could remove this one.
My gut says we could be dealing with an Internet predator."
--It has just been determined that Cassie is missing. How did he come to this conclusion so fast? If it's just his gut feeling, I suggest expanding it more to make it more realistic.
Cassandra
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2010
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First, praise the Lord for the good report, awesome! Interesting chapter and a new twist on the story. I can only imagine how upsetting this will be for Sarah and I'm sure she'll somehow blame herself. I hope she'll be okay. If the story line involves a predator, I would suggest removing the part about Joe's gut feeling because that's telling the story before it happens. If not, then it could work. I look forward to the next.
she glanced at Joe as she hung up (the phone).
--to tighten consider removing. Since she clutched the phone to her chest, I think you could remove this one.
My gut says we could be dealing with an Internet predator."
--It has just been determined that Cassie is missing. How did he come to this conclusion so fast? If it's just his gut feeling, I suggest expanding it more to make it more realistic.
Cassandra
Comment Written 25-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2010
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Thank you for your kind review. I made the first change and will recheck the second.
Comment from bookishfabler
First of all, that is good news and I will continue to pray for you. Now, your story was riviting. I couldn't stop reading. I'm on my way to work, its 4:30 am and I got to go, but had to finish this.
As he left, he called over his shoulder, "I'm calling your mom. You need someone with you."
After Joe called Sara's parents, he called Matt. "Have the drug cartels been active?"
(there are 4 call or calling in here. mybe say phone or something to break it up.)
he studied where the waitress pointed the white SUV had (been) parked and took a sip of the milkshake.
great job
hugs book
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2010
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First of all, that is good news and I will continue to pray for you. Now, your story was riviting. I couldn't stop reading. I'm on my way to work, its 4:30 am and I got to go, but had to finish this.
As he left, he called over his shoulder, "I'm calling your mom. You need someone with you."
After Joe called Sara's parents, he called Matt. "Have the drug cartels been active?"
(there are 4 call or calling in here. mybe say phone or something to break it up.)
he studied where the waitress pointed the white SUV had (been) parked and took a sip of the milkshake.
great job
hugs book
Comment Written 25-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2010
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Thank you for your kind review. I always appreciate hearing from you.
Comment from mtngalofnc
Hi barbara,
What a great chapter. It held my interest throughout. Your story has a smooth flow and good dialogue and very believable. No spag did I see.
I am pleased to hear you got good news and you take care of yourself for a speedy recovery. Your in my thoughts and prayers. God bless and best wishes.
Becky
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2010
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Hi barbara,
What a great chapter. It held my interest throughout. Your story has a smooth flow and good dialogue and very believable. No spag did I see.
I am pleased to hear you got good news and you take care of yourself for a speedy recovery. Your in my thoughts and prayers. God bless and best wishes.
Becky
Comment Written 25-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2010
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from RaymondJohn
Clean narrative with good use of detail. I'm intrigued with the relationships. Good pace and KI like the characters. Well done. Ray.
reply by the author on 24-Sep-2010
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Clean narrative with good use of detail. I'm intrigued with the relationships. Good pace and KI like the characters. Well done. Ray.
Comment Written 24-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 24-Sep-2010
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Thank you for your kind review.
