Another Pretty Face
Viewing comments for Chapter 15 "Chapter 6 part two"Can love survive small town gossip?
85 total reviews
Comment from animatqua
I like the way you ended this with a hook on the end. Now that the reader has seen the `will they or won't they' mystery solved, it's good to have another one moving in to take its place.
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2010
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I like the way you ended this with a hook on the end. Now that the reader has seen the `will they or won't they' mystery solved, it's good to have another one moving in to take its place.
Comment Written 13-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2010
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Thank you for your kind review and support.
Comment from Allezw2
Lady Barbara Wilkey,
The erotica is done nicely, enough detail to get those in the know going and mystifying those who don't.
The dialog is appropriate for frank adults and intersting to ponder the author's ability to cover the topinc in an interesting way.
Nicely done,
Fantasist
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2010
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Lady Barbara Wilkey,
The erotica is done nicely, enough detail to get those in the know going and mystifying those who don't.
The dialog is appropriate for frank adults and intersting to ponder the author's ability to cover the topinc in an interesting way.
Nicely done,
Fantasist
Comment Written 13-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2010
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Thank you for your kind review and continued support.
Comment from Nicnac
Arg! I bet this has something to do with that stupid kid that was bothering Cassie at the ball park that day. What was his name?? The one Joe told off? ugh. I hope Cassie is okay.
I find a tiny bit of comfort in knowing that Cassie has Joe's cell number. I hope all is okay - but if it isn't, I'm sure Joe will save the day. :) Barbara... please don't let anything happen to Cassie!!
Loved this sexy chapter. It's hard to focus on that when I'm worried about Cassie though. LOL
I am praying for you! Sending love and hugs.
Please email me when you are feeling up to it and let me know how it all went. I know you'll need your rest and won't be able to for awhile. I'll be waiting patiently to talk to you. :)
Love,
Nic
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2010
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Arg! I bet this has something to do with that stupid kid that was bothering Cassie at the ball park that day. What was his name?? The one Joe told off? ugh. I hope Cassie is okay.
I find a tiny bit of comfort in knowing that Cassie has Joe's cell number. I hope all is okay - but if it isn't, I'm sure Joe will save the day. :) Barbara... please don't let anything happen to Cassie!!
Loved this sexy chapter. It's hard to focus on that when I'm worried about Cassie though. LOL
I am praying for you! Sending love and hugs.
Please email me when you are feeling up to it and let me know how it all went. I know you'll need your rest and won't be able to for awhile. I'll be waiting patiently to talk to you. :)
Love,
Nic
Comment Written 13-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2010
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Hey, you are on the top of my list of friends to notify. I appreciate your kind review. This lad's name is Marc. We will see him again.
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Thank you. :)
Muaaahhhh - I hit the nail on the head didn't I? Mundane Marc is going to get a 'what for!' muaaaahhhh....
Comment from Meshe Nair
Good chapter. Can't wait to read more.
One spag that I found
Cassie spends a two hours = Cassie spends two hours remove the 'a'
Good wishes on your surgery
Meshe Nair
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2010
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Good chapter. Can't wait to read more.
One spag that I found
Cassie spends a two hours = Cassie spends two hours remove the 'a'
Good wishes on your surgery
Meshe Nair
Comment Written 12-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2010
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Thank you for your kind review. I will fix that.
Comment from mtngalofnc
Hi barbara,
A very nice chapter and what a great ending. I saw no spag and the flow is good. Joe and Sarah are trying to hang on to every second before he leaves, but something tells me that because Sarah's intuition is kicking in he won't be going any where. At least not yet. You have certainly peaked my interest and I look forward to the next chapter.
Thank you for sharing.
Becky
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2010
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Hi barbara,
A very nice chapter and what a great ending. I saw no spag and the flow is good. Joe and Sarah are trying to hang on to every second before he leaves, but something tells me that because Sarah's intuition is kicking in he won't be going any where. At least not yet. You have certainly peaked my interest and I look forward to the next chapter.
Thank you for sharing.
Becky
Comment Written 12-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2010
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Thank you for your kind review and continued support.
Comment from Nanashirley
I like the story and feel that I know them like friends. I always am glad when things go well. I hope that things are not going to go wrong but then the story wouldn't grow. I saw no editing needed.
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2010
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I like the story and feel that I know them like friends. I always am glad when things go well. I hope that things are not going to go wrong but then the story wouldn't grow. I saw no editing needed.
Comment Written 12-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2010
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Thank you for your kind review and continued support.
Comment from Eddie Z
I haven't had the pleasure of reading your other chapters yet but I do look forward to doing that. This is so well written that I think I had better start at the beginning. You have given nothing away about the lovers here and I can't stand it. It fills me with questions. Hope its not just the infatuation of a love scene. But it is written so well. I am truly captivated.
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2010
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I haven't had the pleasure of reading your other chapters yet but I do look forward to doing that. This is so well written that I think I had better start at the beginning. You have given nothing away about the lovers here and I can't stand it. It fills me with questions. Hope its not just the infatuation of a love scene. But it is written so well. I am truly captivated.
Comment Written 12-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2010
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Nope, I don't write romances just for the love scene. Many of my readers were begging me to get these together. It was time, but it's the only time they will be together. I spent a long time building them and foreshadowing the mystery about to happen.
Comment from RebelRose
Uh, Oh. That doesn't sound good... about Cassie being late. I hope there is a good reason and nothing too bad. Great chapter. I enjoyed it.
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2010
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Uh, Oh. That doesn't sound good... about Cassie being late. I hope there is a good reason and nothing too bad. Great chapter. I enjoyed it.
Comment Written 12-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2010
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Thank you for your kind review and continued support.
Comment from kovarou
this is funny and beautiful, it reminds me of me and my girlfriend, i think because of that the enjoyment was 10 fold , well at least for me thanks for the write its good to read more of your stuff =]
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2010
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this is funny and beautiful, it reminds me of me and my girlfriend, i think because of that the enjoyment was 10 fold , well at least for me thanks for the write its good to read more of your stuff =]
Comment Written 12-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2010
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Thank you for your kind review. I appreciate your comments. A few reviewers question if it can happen this way.
Comment from LumchuckHickle
I only have read this short section. I am new to the site and haven't been following your story, so take that into account, and take what I say here with a lick of salt.
Fundamentally, your writing works well. It's clear, and the characters seem to have distinct voices. The dialogue, to my taste, is a bit stilted. Sometimes it is terrific, but other times it doesn't ring true, e.g. "You're one classy lady..." or "I'm afraid you haven't had enough experience to understand love. My prayer is you love me with the same intensity as I do you. If I lost you, I'd be devastated." This latter line would be interesting if the character is being (whether consciously or unconsciously, it wouldn't matter) manipulative, but if he is being sincere, being the kind and wise "teacher" of his less sophisticated lover, it doesn't have the ring of authenticity and complexity I'd hope for or expect. (Now if he is being manipulative here, and you are building slowly to revelation of that, my apologies: it could work.)
In any case, I think you have the talent you need to write good dialogue and use it to progress through a scene like this...there's evidence of that talent here and there in the segment...but you don't quite hit the mark here. Not to worry, such scenes are very hard to write well. Plenty of excellent writers have clunked a bit in scenes just like this. Keep at it. You'll get where you want to be if you work, work, work. Writing comes easy sometimes, but--in the long run--it is always very hard to do.
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reply by the author on 12-Sep-2010
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I only have read this short section. I am new to the site and haven't been following your story, so take that into account, and take what I say here with a lick of salt.
Fundamentally, your writing works well. It's clear, and the characters seem to have distinct voices. The dialogue, to my taste, is a bit stilted. Sometimes it is terrific, but other times it doesn't ring true, e.g. "You're one classy lady..." or "I'm afraid you haven't had enough experience to understand love. My prayer is you love me with the same intensity as I do you. If I lost you, I'd be devastated." This latter line would be interesting if the character is being (whether consciously or unconsciously, it wouldn't matter) manipulative, but if he is being sincere, being the kind and wise "teacher" of his less sophisticated lover, it doesn't have the ring of authenticity and complexity I'd hope for or expect. (Now if he is being manipulative here, and you are building slowly to revelation of that, my apologies: it could work.)
In any case, I think you have the talent you need to write good dialogue and use it to progress through a scene like this...there's evidence of that talent here and there in the segment...but you don't quite hit the mark here. Not to worry, such scenes are very hard to write well. Plenty of excellent writers have clunked a bit in scenes just like this. Keep at it. You'll get where you want to be if you work, work, work. Writing comes easy sometimes, but--in the long run--it is always very hard to do.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 12-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2010
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Thank you for your review.
