Comment from missy98writer

Excellent

Poet,
your senryu is beautifully written. Your senryu is in great form and syllable count. Lovely art work. I enjoyed all of the lines:

walking, not crawling
following your mommy's lead
genetic footsteps

A senryu is a poem that highlights the foibles of human nature and you managed to do that. Excellent entry in the senryu writing prompt contest. Good luck in the voting booth. It was a delight to read you poem.
Missy.

 Comment Written 02-Sep-2010

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reply by the author on 02-Sep-2010

thanks, missy98writer

Comment from sgalletti

Excellent

Good use of syllable count in your three line senryu. I like the cyncial/satorical senryu a lot. Best of luck in the contest. Sue

 Comment Written 02-Sep-2010

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reply by the author on 02-Sep-2010

thanks, Sue

Comment from adewpearl

Excellent

I love the satori of genetic footsteps - I love the way your poem can be about a child literally following her mother as they walk or figuratively following her mom as she takes on her personality and traits :-) Brooke

 Comment Written 02-Sep-2010

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reply by the author on 02-Sep-2010

thanks, Brooke

Comment from anabelle

Excellent

LOL! Amazing how the energy does seem to be genetic. I like the way you showed her strength and determination by using yourself as a gauge.

Best of luck in the contest. Good entry.

Regards, anabelle

 Comment Written 02-Sep-2010

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reply by the author on 02-Sep-2010

thanks, anabelle

reply by anabelle on 02-Sep-2010

You're welcome.

Comment from anabellapongasi

Excellent

This is a nice senryu about your granddaughter. All my children never crawled much either. They were all in a hurry to walk and run! Best wishes in the contest!
Anabella

 Comment Written 02-Sep-2010

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reply by the author on 02-Sep-2010

thanks, anabella

Comment from azwildrosa

Excellent

awe, i see my children following me around now when they were babies. great poem for this prompt. what a great image i get from reading it and a smile as well. thank you for sharing and best of wishes to you in the booths :) mommies rule!!

 Comment Written 02-Sep-2010

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reply by the author on 02-Sep-2010

yes they do -- thanks, azwildrosa

Comment from keepthefaith

Excellent

I liked your senryu. In perfect syllable format. Written very well. I liked the message in it. Great job and good luck.

 Comment Written 02-Sep-2010

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reply by the author on 02-Sep-2010

thanks, keepthefaith

Comment from regina1956

Excellent

You followed the senryu poem concept completely. I feel the child following mommy's footsteps. I liked the mother/child subject.

 Comment Written 01-Sep-2010

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reply by the author on 02-Sep-2010

thanks, regina1956

Comment from FredCollingwood

Excellent

Finally a well written senryu that adheres to the attributes of the art form. Excellent. I think this one's a winner!

Fred

 Comment Written 01-Sep-2010

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reply by the author on 02-Sep-2010

thanks, Fred

Comment from Ann Smith

Excellent

This is precious and brought a smile to my face today. I think it is especially sweet because it connects three generations through your eyes. It's amazing how the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Good luck with the contest. ann

 Comment Written 01-Sep-2010

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reply by the author on 02-Sep-2010

thanks, ann

reply by Ann Smith on 02-Sep-2010

You are welcome.