Emotions of Love and Life
Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "Breakout"Love and Life with many emotions
3 total reviews
Comment from TT7Z
Such anguish your friend must feel. Your writing expresses how you perceive his feelings and tribulations very well. It is as if you are connected as soulmates. Fear in a man is hard for that man to overcome. That is especially true if raw emotion is also involved, such as love, hate, failure, inadequacy. You have captured your perception of his fears and yearn for him to release them as you listen and accept him without reprisal. Very good piece. Your friend is very lucky to have you as a dear friend. Again nice job and thank you.
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2010
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Such anguish your friend must feel. Your writing expresses how you perceive his feelings and tribulations very well. It is as if you are connected as soulmates. Fear in a man is hard for that man to overcome. That is especially true if raw emotion is also involved, such as love, hate, failure, inadequacy. You have captured your perception of his fears and yearn for him to release them as you listen and accept him without reprisal. Very good piece. Your friend is very lucky to have you as a dear friend. Again nice job and thank you.
Comment Written 18-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2010
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Thank You for understanding this write. It was well worth the thought. Thank You for kind compliments.
Comment from gabriowl
Sound advice in this here thread, and well woven together with the pattern of 2 lines at a time! "Release this rock you carried for so long
Put it back on shore where it belongs" - I love that line - Life will blink by before you know it... enjoy the joys, feel through the trials, and learn in this great big playground. Most of all, take it easy on yourself, eh? We can be such self-tormentors, and then it's no wonder we feel useless and outcast. One editing note: "Keep your clothes on she don't want you undressed" - it might be part of the style of the voice using "don't" instead of "doesn't", but it pushed my 'proper English' button. Maybe "I don't" or "she doesn't" ?
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2010
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Sound advice in this here thread, and well woven together with the pattern of 2 lines at a time! "Release this rock you carried for so long
Put it back on shore where it belongs" - I love that line - Life will blink by before you know it... enjoy the joys, feel through the trials, and learn in this great big playground. Most of all, take it easy on yourself, eh? We can be such self-tormentors, and then it's no wonder we feel useless and outcast. One editing note: "Keep your clothes on she don't want you undressed" - it might be part of the style of the voice using "don't" instead of "doesn't", but it pushed my 'proper English' button. Maybe "I don't" or "she doesn't" ?
Comment Written 18-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2010
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Your right it should have been "she doesn't" Thank You for the catch it was greatly appreciated.
Comment from thebyers21
Another great piece debbie. Your line about your mother giving you a bunch of crap made me smile. I'm not saying that to nake fun in any way. It just struck me amusing. Great job again.
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2010
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Another great piece debbie. Your line about your mother giving you a bunch of crap made me smile. I'm not saying that to nake fun in any way. It just struck me amusing. Great job again.
Comment Written 18-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2010
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Thank you. I try to make life as different as possible for people. People need the unexpected to smile. Thank You for your review. It was greatly appreciated.
