Reviews from

Another Pretty Face

Viewing comments for Chapter 12 "Chapter 5, part one"
Can love survive small town gossip?

81 total reviews 
Comment from Roberta Joan Jensen
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Great chapter, as always and, as always, too short. How aare you doing?

Joe walked up the porch steps and watched Cassie[] before he smiled and said under his breath,

You[r] reaction was a normal mom reaction."

Roberta

 Comment Written 14-Aug-2010


reply by the author on 14-Aug-2010
    Thank you for your kind review. I am doing okay, I go back to surgery on the 16th. I am over the yelling, screaming, and crying.
Comment from Dave M
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Barbara,

Thanks for the update you posted in your author notes. Things don't sound good, but we're pulling for you. I'll be waiting for whenever you can post something.

You did a good job with the cookies and the softball game. Of course, you understand that softball rules are a bit different from baseball rules. In particular, a runner on base cannot leave the base until the batter hits the ball - no such thing as taking a lead.

I enjoyed this read and have several comments:

"She's a great kid, but I don't think I'll ever understand her?" This is a statement and should end with a period.

Joe grinned, watching her leave. [I love you too, Sara. - this phrase might be in italics. I believe Joe is thinking this, not saying it out loud.

"...she stared at the {baked} goods packed for the bake sale." I'd take the word "baked" out. This is obvious, and in the same sentence, you say "bake sale."

Of course, their lives are going to change, but I am really curious as to how this happens.

Dave

 Comment Written 14-Aug-2010


reply by the author on 15-Aug-2010
    Thank you for pointing out the soft ball rules. My boys played baseball, so I needed that. I will make the corrections. I appreciate your review.
Comment from RKagan
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This is another awesome chapter in your novel. I can see where you are setting things up for future happenings. I have been reading this and will continue to follow.

 Comment Written 14-Aug-2010


reply by the author on 14-Aug-2010
    Thank you for your kind review and continued support.
Comment from Rama Rao
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It's so nice to see your post. I don't know how you are coping with your health and the school schedule. Can't you take a few weeks off and relax at home? I'm sure you know best what is good for you. I wish you all the best in the Surgery scheduled for 16th Sept and Chemo after that. I'm positive you will come out of all this completely unscathed and normal as your old self.
Incidentally this chapter is as excellent as the rest. Just two minor typos. peaked=peeked and why don't you join me behind the home plate?

 Comment Written 14-Aug-2010


reply by the author on 14-Aug-2010
    Thank you for your thoughts. I don't have the leave time to cover any excess leave. I will get on those typos. I appreciate your pointing them out.
Comment from Mary Ann MCPhedran
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This is a lovely story, I love the way you call your Mother Mom, back to or script it was well written and your characters seem to be real. I almost was in the script with them.I enjoyed reading it, Thanks for sharing it with me. Mary

 Comment Written 14-Aug-2010


reply by the author on 14-Aug-2010
    Thank you for your kind review. If I can put you in the story with them, then I did my job.
Comment from c_lucas
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Sara is a softball mother. It's her duty to cheer, jump up and down and whistle. This is very well written with good imagery and descriptive scheme.

 Comment Written 14-Aug-2010


reply by the author on 14-Aug-2010
    Thank you for your kind review.
reply by c_lucas on 14-Aug-2010
    You're welcome, Barbara. Charlie
Comment from Belinda
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Hi, Barbara, another nice chapter. I like the interactions between mom and daughter, and the relationship between Sara and Joe seems going all right too. You are brave and strong to be able to continue this story for us. I do hope I can give you my contribution of strength to get going with the surgery and medications. May God bless all the doctors involved and especially you ...

 Comment Written 14-Aug-2010


reply by the author on 14-Aug-2010
    Belinda, you are a dear friend and your prayers are very much needed. I can actually feel my strength grow from your support.
Comment from RazberryBullet
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Sara is beginning to bloom under Joe's tutelage and attention and there's no animosity on Cassie's part to undermine it.

Got a snicker at Ginger gnashing her teeth ;p

Well done!

 Comment Written 14-Aug-2010


reply by the author on 14-Aug-2010
    Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from chells36
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You are right in saying if you have jumped in at this page , however I love the strong details of your characters
You certainly bring them to life.
Nice and cheery with a very upbeat meter
well done nice work
Thanks xx

 Comment Written 14-Aug-2010


reply by the author on 14-Aug-2010
    Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from adewpearl
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You are not teaching until the surgery is over, are you, Barbara????
He did, didn't' he - drop the second apostrophe
She peaked inside the oven to check - peeked
She put her hand to her hair, straightening - add comma
Joe is one feisty guy - I love that he put Ginger in her place, and I love his pursuit of Sara - the part about taking her ponytail down and telling her how beautiful she is when she's been baking - that is all good stuff. You're making ME fall in love with him. LOL Brooke

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 Comment Written 14-Aug-2010


reply by the author on 14-Aug-2010
    Yes, I will start with children on the 23rd, unless they can fit me in before that. My first grade team and I had a heart to heart talk. We laid it on the line to each other, and were all in tears, but it was decided that they have my back and we will have the best first grade in the country. Darn!!!!! I always do that with peeked/peak and I know better.
reply by adewpearl on 14-Aug-2010
    You are one strong lady, Barbara - how great to have fellow teachers who are such good friends - as for peak/peek - once you're all recovered I'll scold you. LOL
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2010
    You are so sweet.