Another Pretty Face
Viewing comments for Chapter 12 "Chapter 5, part one"Can love survive small town gossip?
81 total reviews
Comment from Ted T
Hi Barbara :)
Considering what you're going through, I have to say you're doing a good job with your book. I can't believe Sara still blushes so easily when Cassie mentions Joe.
Nice sequence at the game, well written.
Take it easy and get your rest.
Best wishes.
Ted
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2010
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Hi Barbara :)
Considering what you're going through, I have to say you're doing a good job with your book. I can't believe Sara still blushes so easily when Cassie mentions Joe.
Nice sequence at the game, well written.
Take it easy and get your rest.
Best wishes.
Ted
Comment Written 16-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2010
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It isn't the mention of Joe. It's her teenage daughter asking her about kissing Joe that made her blush. Thank you for your kind review.
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Hi :)
It's not a flaw. You've made it an endearment.
Take care.
Ted
Comment from Pen&Ink
Hello barbara.wilkey,
An interesting and realistic chapter on all levels. The dialogue was good, was more or less carried along by the excellent dialogue. This story is very believable. As a parentd I've watched many ballgames. The excitement you describe is palpable. I look forward to reading more of this book. Good luck with your medical issures. Ray
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2010
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Hello barbara.wilkey,
An interesting and realistic chapter on all levels. The dialogue was good, was more or less carried along by the excellent dialogue. This story is very believable. As a parentd I've watched many ballgames. The excitement you describe is palpable. I look forward to reading more of this book. Good luck with your medical issures. Ray
Comment Written 16-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2010
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Thank you for your well wishes. I appreciate your kind review.
Comment from K. L. Bauman
Even without reading some of the other chapters, I thought this one was well written and kept my attention to the end. Your characters are unique but relatable as usual, and the dialogue was good. I'll try to read the rest so I know what's going on.
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2010
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Even without reading some of the other chapters, I thought this one was well written and kept my attention to the end. Your characters are unique but relatable as usual, and the dialogue was good. I'll try to read the rest so I know what's going on.
Comment Written 16-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2010
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Harrisa
I'm glad Joe put Ginger in her place. It is great when a child likes the person their mother or father falls in love with. I wish it happened more ofter. Life would be so much better. I enjoyed this chapter.
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2010
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I'm glad Joe put Ginger in her place. It is great when a child likes the person their mother or father falls in love with. I wish it happened more ofter. Life would be so much better. I enjoyed this chapter.
Comment Written 16-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2010
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from acvguard11
this is really good...i haven't kept up with the previous chapters but i am going to go back and read them because this really drew me in...good jobb and keep writing..good luck with fighting the cancer...and i will keep you in my prayers
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2010
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this is really good...i haven't kept up with the previous chapters but i am going to go back and read them because this really drew me in...good jobb and keep writing..good luck with fighting the cancer...and i will keep you in my prayers
Comment Written 16-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2010
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Thank you for your prayers. I appreciate your kind review.
Comment from Meshe Nair
Hello,
This story is working towards some turning point in their lives. Good chapter. A few suggestions below
She turned toward the oven - I believe it should be "She turned towards the oven.
Sara stood, started to cheer, then stopped and sat - my suggestion is - Sara stood up, started to cheer, then stopped and sat down.
I enjoyed your enthusiasm. Go ahead and cheer. - I am not sure this sentence seem to resonate well with joe's laughter and squeeze of shoulder. Would consider revising with something else.
Keep writing. Wish you all the good luck with your chemo and health.
Meshe Nair
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2010
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Hello,
This story is working towards some turning point in their lives. Good chapter. A few suggestions below
She turned toward the oven - I believe it should be "She turned towards the oven.
Sara stood, started to cheer, then stopped and sat - my suggestion is - Sara stood up, started to cheer, then stopped and sat down.
I enjoyed your enthusiasm. Go ahead and cheer. - I am not sure this sentence seem to resonate well with joe's laughter and squeeze of shoulder. Would consider revising with something else.
Keep writing. Wish you all the good luck with your chemo and health.
Meshe Nair
Comment Written 16-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2010
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Thank you for your well wishes. I will recheck those areas. I appreciate your review.
Comment from patwannabe
Barbara, keep reminding us when your surgery will be. I have you on my calendar so I won't miss it. You have my prayers.
Another wonderful chapter. I guess Joe kicked Ginger's ass reall good. pat
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2010
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Barbara, keep reminding us when your surgery will be. I have you on my calendar so I won't miss it. You have my prayers.
Another wonderful chapter. I guess Joe kicked Ginger's ass reall good. pat
Comment Written 16-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2010
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Thank you for your prayers. I will keep you posted. I appreciate your kind review.
Comment from patmedium
I was so concerned I might have missed one of these ... I needn't have worried. Lovely, as usual. I find the three characters marvellous. Pat. xxx
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2010
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I was so concerned I might have missed one of these ... I needn't have worried. Lovely, as usual. I find the three characters marvellous. Pat. xxx
Comment Written 16-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2010
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from bookishfabler
Great chapter. The things I'm pointing out are minor, and I'm sure you'll have a look.
I love the baseball scene, it seemed very real, brought to life.
Minor thing,
"Hand me that blue hot pad on the table." Taking the hot pad from her daughter, she continued, "Your breakfast is on the counter."
(Do you want to say hot pad twice?)
"Good luck and I'll be there as soon as the last batch of cookies is (are) done." (I think 'is' okay, but 'are' may be better)
Joe grinned, watching her leave. I love you too, Sara.
When Sara returned wearing blue jeans and a lavender blouse, she stared at the goods packed for the bake sale. "Ready? I'll help you carry everything to the car." Joe grinned.
(Okay, you switched POV in the last line. Maybe she felt him watch her. and leave out grinned, because he grins again in the POV switch proceeding this.
Joe grinned as he lifted her hand and kissed her little finger. (I know this si a little after, but Joe sure does grin a lot.
hugs book
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2010
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Great chapter. The things I'm pointing out are minor, and I'm sure you'll have a look.
I love the baseball scene, it seemed very real, brought to life.
Minor thing,
"Hand me that blue hot pad on the table." Taking the hot pad from her daughter, she continued, "Your breakfast is on the counter."
(Do you want to say hot pad twice?)
"Good luck and I'll be there as soon as the last batch of cookies is (are) done." (I think 'is' okay, but 'are' may be better)
Joe grinned, watching her leave. I love you too, Sara.
When Sara returned wearing blue jeans and a lavender blouse, she stared at the goods packed for the bake sale. "Ready? I'll help you carry everything to the car." Joe grinned.
(Okay, you switched POV in the last line. Maybe she felt him watch her. and leave out grinned, because he grins again in the POV switch proceeding this.
Joe grinned as he lifted her hand and kissed her little finger. (I know this si a little after, but Joe sure does grin a lot.
hugs book
Comment Written 16-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2010
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I will take a look at those areas. The one about the cookies. I think the subject is batch not cookies, but will double check. I appreciate your review.
Comment from Allezw2
Lady barbara.wilkey,
You have crafted a charming little tale with a vivacious young girl and her mother's awareness of her attraction to a career military man.
With your background, I'm certain you can draw on various incidents.
My experience in the military made it very clear that military marriages are stern tests of a couple's committment to each other. I saw few indeed that could have been enjoyable for the participants.
Nicely done story,
Fantasist
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2010
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Lady barbara.wilkey,
You have crafted a charming little tale with a vivacious young girl and her mother's awareness of her attraction to a career military man.
With your background, I'm certain you can draw on various incidents.
My experience in the military made it very clear that military marriages are stern tests of a couple's committment to each other. I saw few indeed that could have been enjoyable for the participants.
Nicely done story,
Fantasist
Comment Written 16-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2010
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Thank you for your kind review and I appreciate your support.
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You're quite welcome. Keep the FAITH!
