Comment from Belinda

Excellent

Sweet mother as an angel, keeping contact with her Babushka and Peepers the cat. You have written this story so fluently, Author, I think it covers all the requirements of the contest.

 Comment Written 08-Aug-2010

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reply by the author on 08-Aug-2010

Hi Belinda! Thank you very much! I appreciate your rating and encouragment!!

Comment from adewpearl

Excellent

settle back in it's own dusty gloom - drop the apostrophe
it's = contraction for it is
play first, Peepers needed - replace comma with a semicolon or period
walked to the water's edge - add apostrophe
walked to the water's edge, sometimes - replace comma with semicolon or period
Where are you, Peepers - add comma for direct address
What is it, child - add comma
Help me find him, Grandmama - add comma
This is a lovely story, Susan - it really tugged at my heart. Great characters and natural-sounding dialogue :-) Brooke

 Comment Written 07-Aug-2010

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reply by the author on 07-Aug-2010

Thank you Brooke, I will fix these right away. Again, thank you for a wonderful and kind review...you're the best!

Comment from gschroer

Excellent

Great story! I am wondering whether there is any difference between angels and ghosts? In the first sentence of the second paragraph, I believe the word should be "sat" not "sitting" to make for consistency. I can't even think of the rule, I just think it sounds better. There are minor errors in punctuation that should be fixed.

The undercurrent of the story leads me to believe, perhaps the mother drowned in that lake or WAS drowned in the lake. Something sinister gnaws at me. Good writing.

 Comment Written 07-Aug-2010

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reply by the author on 07-Aug-2010

I will check this, I appreciate this helpful and kind review. You are very perceptive and I am thrilled you liked this. Thank you again!!

Comment from zmacgirl

Excellent

I did really enjoy this. It was a little sad but was comforting in the end. Very well written. Is this a book chapter or just a contest entry? I could see the story continuing.

 Comment Written 07-Aug-2010

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reply by the author on 07-Aug-2010

Hi there, I don't know...for now a contest entry. I want to write a book called "Little Camille"? So, who knows, I will be lucky to do either! Thank you Zmac, for this great review. I am thrilled you liked this!

Comment from Bulfornite

Excellent

a loverly story i could picture all of it as i read and the child saying grandmama sounded very cute it was upseting that her grandma went missing and i don't like kids crying...

 Comment Written 07-Aug-2010

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reply by the author on 07-Aug-2010

Hi! Thank you so much! ( I love the word loverly)! I am happy you read for me, and am sorry about the crying! Please smile, it's not real! ")

reply by Bulfornite on 07-Aug-2010

k :) hope that she find her grandmother in the end :)

Comment from Siddhartha Jatana

Excellent

Yeah...I truly enjoyed the piece and the artwork too...Lol
Wonderfully crafted with plethora of emotions...
Commendable Imagery...
Powerful ending...
Thanks for sharing...
Well done!
Keep it up!
All the best for the contest...
God bless you!

Love and Regards,
Sid

 Comment Written 07-Aug-2010

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reply by the author on 07-Aug-2010

Hi Sid! Thank you very much! I will try to keep at this, I enjoy trying, and hearing from nice people like you!! Thanks again!!

reply by Siddhartha Jatana on 07-Aug-2010

Most welcome:) All the best!

Warm regards,
Sid

Comment from sweetwoodjax

Excellent

this is very well written with good form, good flow, a good storyline and a beautiful picture, i loved the story and i wish you the best of luck in the contest. great job

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 07-Aug-2010

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reply by the author on 07-Aug-2010

Hi Sweet! Thank you so much. It's good to know you enjoyed this, and thank you for this wonderful review too!! ")