Another Pretty Face
Viewing comments for Chapter 9 "Chapter 4 Part one"Can love survive small town gossip?
78 total reviews
Comment from Nerdette
Aw, even if I didn't quite understand the characters, I think I could relate a bit to Sara, as far as thinking that a guy is just gonna break my heart and not trusting them. I still sometimes feel that way about my boyfriend though we have been together for two years (much longer than any teenage relationship I hear of.) but.. eh.. And some of the things she said about not expecting a person to be so honest, is the exact way I think. (: So I think the characters are great even if I haven't read previous chapters.
I also found nothing to suggest. I saw no errors, which I'm sure that if there were any, other reviewers got to them before me. (: I enjoyed reading this.
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2010
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Aw, even if I didn't quite understand the characters, I think I could relate a bit to Sara, as far as thinking that a guy is just gonna break my heart and not trusting them. I still sometimes feel that way about my boyfriend though we have been together for two years (much longer than any teenage relationship I hear of.) but.. eh.. And some of the things she said about not expecting a person to be so honest, is the exact way I think. (: So I think the characters are great even if I haven't read previous chapters.
I also found nothing to suggest. I saw no errors, which I'm sure that if there were any, other reviewers got to them before me. (: I enjoyed reading this.
Comment Written 26-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2010
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Thank you for your kind review. I enjoyed hearing from you.
Comment from Jonez08
Nice chapter Barbara, the duo continue to find a comfortable place with each other. I do like the small town feel of this story. What can I say about Joe that I haven't already said. He's a man women are just drawn to, we'll have to see if that's a good thing or bad...lol.
My observations for this chapter: You've made their feelings known based on dialog, I do think some introspection into their hearts without dialog would increase the emotions and tension. If they say everything they're feeling dillutes some of the intensity. Having Sara think of the feelings he evoke in her or vise versa would be an enhancement. IMHO.
I'm enjoying these two, truly a sweet romance.
Cassandra
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2010
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Nice chapter Barbara, the duo continue to find a comfortable place with each other. I do like the small town feel of this story. What can I say about Joe that I haven't already said. He's a man women are just drawn to, we'll have to see if that's a good thing or bad...lol.
My observations for this chapter: You've made their feelings known based on dialog, I do think some introspection into their hearts without dialog would increase the emotions and tension. If they say everything they're feeling dillutes some of the intensity. Having Sara think of the feelings he evoke in her or vise versa would be an enhancement. IMHO.
I'm enjoying these two, truly a sweet romance.
Cassandra
Comment Written 26-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2010
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I had some thought orginally in this post and edited it out because I was switching POV. I struggle with that. Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from NJTink
Oh my how romantic.....You guys are killing me with these enticing chapters of work. I am staying up half the night reading such talented writers. I shall indeed have to add your book to my little bookshelf. Keep up the amazing work honey.
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2010
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Oh my how romantic.....You guys are killing me with these enticing chapters of work. I am staying up half the night reading such talented writers. I shall indeed have to add your book to my little bookshelf. Keep up the amazing work honey.
Comment Written 26-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2010
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Thank you for your kind words. I am glad you enjoyed reading it.
Comment from ulster3
Hello Barbara.
I enjoyed this read tremendously. Joe seems to be a nice man, but one still has concerns. I feel that the shoe is going to drop in some way. A very well done write!
Thank you.
Fondly, Rebecca
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2010
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Hello Barbara.
I enjoyed this read tremendously. Joe seems to be a nice man, but one still has concerns. I feel that the shoe is going to drop in some way. A very well done write!
Thank you.
Fondly, Rebecca
Comment Written 26-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2010
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Thank you for your kind review and continued support. I enjoy hearing from you.
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You write romance very well indeed! :)
Comment from Sarah_Goldwell
Another great chapter. I'd forgotten that Joe was only visiting and would soon need to return to base. I'm waiting for them to do the deed lol, i thought it might be coming in this chapter, but you have made us wait :-)
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2010
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Another great chapter. I'd forgotten that Joe was only visiting and would soon need to return to base. I'm waiting for them to do the deed lol, i thought it might be coming in this chapter, but you have made us wait :-)
Comment Written 26-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2010
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You will have to wait for them to do the deed. Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from cheyennewy
Hi Barbara,
I was just getting into this chapter the, poof, it was over! This is such a lovely story and I have been sorry every time I read the last word. I hope you will post the next chapter soon as the waiting is awful! Sara and Joe seem so right for each other. I love that Sara is a little shy and skeptical, she doesn't want to be hurt again. I don't think Joe will do that but maybe he will have no choice. I do hope that isn't true! Another superb chapter...blessings, chey
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2010
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Hi Barbara,
I was just getting into this chapter the, poof, it was over! This is such a lovely story and I have been sorry every time I read the last word. I hope you will post the next chapter soon as the waiting is awful! Sara and Joe seem so right for each other. I love that Sara is a little shy and skeptical, she doesn't want to be hurt again. I don't think Joe will do that but maybe he will have no choice. I do hope that isn't true! Another superb chapter...blessings, chey
Comment Written 26-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2010
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Thank you for your kind review. I appreciate your comments.
Comment from FredCollingwood
I love the way you captured their falling in love so realistically--each unsure of the other's feeling and reluctant to let go. Great ending.
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2010
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I love the way you captured their falling in love so realistically--each unsure of the other's feeling and reluctant to let go. Great ending.
Comment Written 26-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2010
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Thank you for your kind review and continued support.
Comment from Kashif Ali Abbas
Another beautiful write-- The great emphasis is how you ended this one, perfection in style and continuity of the story.
Joe put his arms around Sara and shouted, "Residents of White Oak, PA. I, Joe Barnes, am holding Sara Riley in my arms, and now I am kissing her." His lips locked firmly with hers. [[ Great lines]]
K
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2010
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Another beautiful write-- The great emphasis is how you ended this one, perfection in style and continuity of the story.
Joe put his arms around Sara and shouted, "Residents of White Oak, PA. I, Joe Barnes, am holding Sara Riley in my arms, and now I am kissing her." His lips locked firmly with hers. [[ Great lines]]
K
Comment Written 26-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2010
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Thank you for your kind review and continued support.
Comment from Stephanie Burster
I like the story, however they seem to keep telling each other over and over about their impending romance. I couldn't tell if the woman was shy. Is the man suppose to be unsavory?
It seemed to just need some tightening up, that would help, just my observation.
Stephanie
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reply by the author on 26-Jul-2010
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I like the story, however they seem to keep telling each other over and over about their impending romance. I couldn't tell if the woman was shy. Is the man suppose to be unsavory?
It seemed to just need some tightening up, that would help, just my observation.
Stephanie
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 26-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2010
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They are completely acting character. I have a feeling you have not read the previous posts. Thank you for your review.
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No, I didn't. I thought I was supposed to review the story I was reading, not all of the chapters. I've reviewed people writing a novel, they didn't expect me to read from the beginning. Sorry if I disappointed you.
Stephanie
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No, I don't expect you to read all my posts. I had mentioned in the author's notes that this is part of a novel and I have been building the charcters from the beginning and you won't understand the characters if you haven't read the previous chapters. I had hoped that would help stop some of the confusion, but I guess it didn't. Sorry, if I offended you.
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No offense taken. Thanks
Comment from gerry26
Good Chapter, I would have like to see more emotion from both of them but that is my opinion. Good dialog, I liked the end where he announced what he was doing. I also enjoyed the small mystery as to how he will continute the relationship.
gerry
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2010
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Good Chapter, I would have like to see more emotion from both of them but that is my opinion. Good dialog, I liked the end where he announced what he was doing. I also enjoyed the small mystery as to how he will continute the relationship.
gerry
Comment Written 26-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2010
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Thank you for your kind review. All of chapter 4 is a building chapter. Starting in chapter 5 and mainly in chapter 6 things begin to do down hill for this couple.
