Triolets: Traditional and Modified
Viewing comments for Chapter 29 "We Kissed Beneath the Waterfall"Poems employing this musical, repeating form
88 total reviews
Comment from LateBloomer
hello adewpearl, brooke,
this is such a sweet and tender poem ... just like a first kiss. i particularly liked the following:
No sweeter moment I recall
than kissing neath the waterfall
a beautiful poem - great format. you are so very talented.
regards, LateBloomer
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2010
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hello adewpearl, brooke,
this is such a sweet and tender poem ... just like a first kiss. i particularly liked the following:
No sweeter moment I recall
than kissing neath the waterfall
a beautiful poem - great format. you are so very talented.
regards, LateBloomer
Comment Written 24-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2010
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thanks, LateBloomer, for your most thoughtful comments :-) Brooke
Comment from Realist101
Hi Brooke! This is so excellent! I love it! And wonder, and am almost afraid to say? Would adding "ing" to "kiss" be right? I read it three times, just thought it sounded better? Just an idea! ") Susan
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2010
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Hi Brooke! This is so excellent! I love it! And wonder, and am almost afraid to say? Would adding "ing" to "kiss" be right? I read it three times, just thought it sounded better? Just an idea! ") Susan
Comment Written 23-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2010
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You are not the only person who had a hard time with that line - so I just edited to say kissing neath instead of kiss beneath - that keeps the meter and syllable count and makes it an easier read for people - thanks for your input, Susan :-) brooke
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Oh good! I am happy to help you for a change! ") It is a lovely piece Brooke!! Susan
Comment from dtimes3
The waterfall is such a poetic image - if only it were so for all of us. I think first kiss poems would make a really cool anthology. Waterfals, parks, rivers, grassy glades, barns, front seats/back seats, dark closets, etc. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2010
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The waterfall is such a poetic image - if only it were so for all of us. I think first kiss poems would make a really cool anthology. Waterfals, parks, rivers, grassy glades, barns, front seats/back seats, dark closets, etc. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 23-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2010
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thank you, my friend - you're right - it would make a great collection. Brooke :-)
Comment from Arkine
~L~ Yeah, it'd be nice to be that age again. Of course, I was working full-time and got pregnant shortly after. Don't think I've ever kissed under a waterfall either, but I can imagine it'd be one of those mystical, special moments that lives on in memory. Nicely done! :)
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2010
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~L~ Yeah, it'd be nice to be that age again. Of course, I was working full-time and got pregnant shortly after. Don't think I've ever kissed under a waterfall either, but I can imagine it'd be one of those mystical, special moments that lives on in memory. Nicely done! :)
Comment Written 23-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2010
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And I was 18 in 1969, the very best year ever :-) Thanks, my friend :-) Brooke
Comment from WRITER1
This is a very good flowing piece. I have never been behind a waterfall. I have been to Niagara and it is beautiful. Good piece.
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2010
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This is a very good flowing piece. I have never been behind a waterfall. I have been to Niagara and it is beautiful. Good piece.
Comment Written 23-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2010
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Donna, thanks for your great review :-) Brooke
Comment from patmedium
What a wonderful wee tale this is, Brooke. Beautifully written. I have thoroughly enjoyed the memories you raise in my own mind. Standing, high above the ground, in a sunny corner of the curtain wall of a ruined castle.
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2010
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What a wonderful wee tale this is, Brooke. Beautifully written. I have thoroughly enjoyed the memories you raise in my own mind. Standing, high above the ground, in a sunny corner of the curtain wall of a ruined castle.
Comment Written 23-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2010
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Thank you, Pat - so glad you have your own great memories to relate to this :-) Brooke
Comment from Hitcher
OH, you are not wrong there Brooke, imagine knowing what we know now and taking that back with us for that one day, SHIT! We'd have a blast, OH, the trouble we could get in, ha ha. You wouldn't want to be anywhere near me, I'd be trouble with a capital T. It was a great little read friend, look where it took me, I was away... :)
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2010
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OH, you are not wrong there Brooke, imagine knowing what we know now and taking that back with us for that one day, SHIT! We'd have a blast, OH, the trouble we could get in, ha ha. You wouldn't want to be anywhere near me, I'd be trouble with a capital T. It was a great little read friend, look where it took me, I was away... :)
Comment Written 23-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2010
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Hitch, I could work up a good little fantasy about spending a day at 18 with you at a waterfall. But don't tell Jada because she would scratch my eyes out. I can just see the two of us fighting over you at 18. LOLOLOL :-) Thanks, my friend :-) Brooke
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Ha ha, a cat fight, I'm in! ha ha, but if it's my fantasy...three is never a crowd, ha ha. Have a great day friend.
Comment from gramalot8
Adewpearl, ths is very beautiful and full of rich images of such wonderful kisses. It would be so wonderful to share wuch sweet moments. As always, Jerri
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2010
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Adewpearl, ths is very beautiful and full of rich images of such wonderful kisses. It would be so wonderful to share wuch sweet moments. As always, Jerri
Comment Written 23-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2010
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Thank you, Jerri - I appreciate your thoughtful review :-) Brooke
Comment from animatqua
Lovely. The sensual aspect of it could have been lost in the discipline of the poem form. Kudos for moving beyond that and making content and form flow together.
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2010
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Lovely. The sensual aspect of it could have been lost in the discipline of the poem form. Kudos for moving beyond that and making content and form flow together.
Comment Written 22-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2010
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I am so glad you think form and content complemented each other - thank you for this lovely review :-) Brooke
Comment from ulster3
Hello Brooke.
You have written a of a very special kiss. Obviously! It is grand to have sweet memories, even if we can't go back.
Fondly, Rebecca
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2010
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Hello Brooke.
You have written a of a very special kiss. Obviously! It is grand to have sweet memories, even if we can't go back.
Fondly, Rebecca
Comment Written 22-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2010
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Thanks, Rebecca - yeah, we can't go back, but I have two gorgeous children with his smile :-) Brooke
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That is so nice to say! bet they have a lot of you as well!
