Reviews from

Another Pretty Face

Viewing comments for Chapter 6 "Chapter 3 Part One"
Can love survive small town gossip?

74 total reviews 
Comment from Readywriter52
Excellent
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Sara is afraid she is falling in love with Joe. She knows that he leaves Sunday. Joe is taking her to her reunion, but she knows he isn't staying. The reader is left wondering if these two people will ever get together. They seem so right for each other.

 Comment Written 14-Jul-2010

reply by the author on 14-Jul-2010
    Thank you for your kind review and continued support.
Comment from El.Marjie
Excellent
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I'm ready for the reunion. Am thinking that will be a very interesting chapter. Will it go well? or horribly? Anyway, I'm looking forward to it. Good job on this, Barb. I didn't spot any spags. God bless as you write. Marjie

 Comment Written 14-Jul-2010

reply by the author on 14-Jul-2010
    Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Thesis
Excellent
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Joe seems to be falling in love fast with Sara. It sounds like she's being overly cautious, tryiong to distance herself a little, so she doesn't get hurt, when he leaves.

The character development is moving along nicely. They really sound perfect for each other. - John

 Comment Written 14-Jul-2010

reply by the author on 14-Jul-2010
    Thank you for sticking with me. It's not as racey as you are used to.
Comment from Sacred Heart
Excellent
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Hi Barbara,
I really enjoyed this chapter. Joes giving her time which is good. I'm looking forward to the reunion! Smile...Your story is really developing beautifully.
Take care, Happy writing! Love Light Patty

 Comment Written 14-Jul-2010

reply by the author on 14-Jul-2010
    Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from bluedragon776
Excellent
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Good chapter, I just had a few suggestions.

Extra quote mark:

("')Bye Mom..

I love this:

Pink caressed her cheeks....

Good luck with rest of chapter. I gave you a 5 anyway.

 Comment Written 14-Jul-2010

reply by the author on 14-Jul-2010
    Thank you for your 5. I will check the extra quote, but if I'm not mistaken it's a quote then 'bye, for leaving the good off good bye. It may be the wrong way to write it. I will check. Thank you for your review.
Comment from Harrisa
Excellent
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This is a nice romance story. Sara and Joe seems to make a good couple. Hopefully the reunion turns out without a lot of problems to their friendship.

 Comment Written 14-Jul-2010

reply by the author on 14-Jul-2010
    Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Jonez08
Excellent
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Hi Barbara, nice chapter, you created a nice flow of tension between Joe and Sara. Considering her reputation in town, I'm worried about this reunion. You've created likable characters and I would feel really bad for Sara if something bad happened. Look forward to the next.

Sara opened the front door early the following morning to check the weather and saw Joe bending over
(I was excited to see you open the chapter with descriptive, however, after she checked the weather you never let us see what she was seeing. Or you could have work in by simply saying when she opened the door she was greeted by the morning sun or cloudy skies or ....)

Cassandra

 Comment Written 14-Jul-2010

reply by the author on 14-Jul-2010
    I figured the only important thing she saw was Joe. (LOL) I will work on getting more descriptions in there. I am already taking heat for having irrevlant things in my chapter, I am almost afraid to add the weather. (LOL) Thank you for your kind review. I enjoy hearing from you.
reply by Jonez08 on 14-Jul-2010
    lol..well Joe is most important and I did enjoy the muscles. Descriptive writing takes effort. When I say weather I meant something like: When she opened the door the morning sun greeted her. She noticed Joe.... something brief. But most important write only what you feel comfortable. Set yourself free from opinions (even mine..lol) and let your words flow, then we will see Barbara's writing. When I write I tune out all others and just write from my gut. I take suggestions and helpful tips by all means, but I won't change my writing style for anyone because it will no longer be me. All of us will draw a certain audience and that's the audience that will appreciate your writing, some may never appreciate your style and that's okay too. Different strokes for different folks. I think you feed into the opinion of others too much. Just be you and grow from helpful reviews.
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2010
    You are probably right about trying to please other people. I have a huge following and get at least two new fans with every post. So I must be doing something right. The people who like my style say they like the crisp to the point style. Not every body likes it. Some people want a more flowery style, that't okay too.
reply by Jonez08 on 14-Jul-2010
    That speaks for itself. So, just write away!
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2010
    I know you have as huge following too. Our styles are a little different, but there's a place for both our stories.
reply by Jonez08 on 14-Jul-2010
    So true. There are some wonderful people here on FS. No place I'd rather be.
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2010
    I agree.
Comment from fictionwriter
Excellent
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Another great chapter. I would think there needs to be some taking back, a little bit of standing off so that the sexual tension begins. Well done.

 Comment Written 14-Jul-2010

reply by the author on 14-Jul-2010
    The sexual tension will begin very soon. Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from cheyennewy
Excellent
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Hi Barbara,

I'm looking forward to the chapter on the reunion. Joe and Sara are falling in love and all is rosy...for now. I know she will grieve when he has to leave. Maybe absence will make their hearts grow fonder. As usual a perfectly written chapter. Blessings, chey

 Comment Written 14-Jul-2010

reply by the author on 14-Jul-2010
    Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from hyway94
Excellent
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Outstanding, I was right there listing to what they had to say and they didn't even see me. That's how it felt to read this great story. I'm sorry that I haven't been around but work just took off and they've been running us to death. God this was good can't wait for the next one.

 Comment Written 14-Jul-2010

reply by the author on 14-Jul-2010
    Thank you for your kind review and I have missed you. I hope work settles down.