Will You Be Mine, Forever?
A short romantic story32 total reviews
Comment from Soledadpaz
How sweet. I was hoping it was a true story, it was so nice.
It read very well and I could see it actually happening. I could even feel the hail. Well done!
  |
How sweet. I was hoping it was a true story, it was so nice.
It read very well and I could see it actually happening. I could even feel the hail. Well done!
Comment Written 14-Jul-2010
Comment from missy98writer
John,
what a pleasant surprise from your usual writing. I love a sappy romance. Cool photo you found. Excellent narrative, natural dialogue, and great characterization. I got a cavity at his sappy proposal. Predictable line:
"Linda, I love you. Will you be mine, forever?"
But I love it when I know what's going to happen sometime. Excellent story. But do go totally in this direction. I love your meaty stories with sex, cheating and drama.
Melissa!
Melissa!
|
John,
what a pleasant surprise from your usual writing. I love a sappy romance. Cool photo you found. Excellent narrative, natural dialogue, and great characterization. I got a cavity at his sappy proposal. Predictable line:
"Linda, I love you. Will you be mine, forever?"
But I love it when I know what's going to happen sometime. Excellent story. But do go totally in this direction. I love your meaty stories with sex, cheating and drama.
Melissa!
Melissa!
Comment Written 13-Jul-2010
Comment from Belinda
Hi, Thesis. Where did you get that picture? It's awesome and has proved to be inspirational to you. I like this short piece although it is not typically yours, as it is so sweet and romantic!
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2010
|
Hi, Thesis. Where did you get that picture? It's awesome and has proved to be inspirational to you. I like this short piece although it is not typically yours, as it is so sweet and romantic!
Comment Written 13-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2010
-
I know. That picture affected me. I love the woman's expression. She reminds me so much of how my wife smiles, that I had to write a very simple, loving story. I'm a true romantic at heart. My wife will attest to that. Married 34 years, I don't take myself too seriously, I live for my wife and 2 daughters. They are what matter to me. - John
-
Ah, you are so sweet. Both you and your wife are fortunate. Your kids too...
Comment from lola29
This was a very warmhearted and romantic story--just my type. Sometimes, impromptu settings are the best, and in this case, simply wonderful!
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2010
|
This was a very warmhearted and romantic story--just my type. Sometimes, impromptu settings are the best, and in this case, simply wonderful!
Comment Written 13-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2010
-
Thanks, Lola. I love the simple, romantic, meaningful relationships in real life. I was inspired by the look on the womans face in the photo. It was so beautifully real. That's really sexy to me. - John
Comment from adewpearl
You're right, John, he does look like a man whose true love just accepted his marriage proposal - the genuine love the narrator of this story feels comes through in every line - he's a nice change from the sex fiend men who people so many of your stories. LOL Brooke
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2010
|
You're right, John, he does look like a man whose true love just accepted his marriage proposal - the genuine love the narrator of this story feels comes through in every line - he's a nice change from the sex fiend men who people so many of your stories. LOL Brooke
Comment Written 13-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2010
-
I know Brooke. I'm a true romantic at heart. This woman's expression, to me, is really sweet and very sexy. It's simple and seems so real. I should alter my stories more to reflect my personal view on life. - John
-
Let's just say this is a new side of you I'm seeing :-)
Comment from anabelle
Very cute, John. The picture definitely resonates the words, and everyone loves a happy story and a glorious ending.
Good read. Thanks.
Regards, anabelle
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2010
|
Very cute, John. The picture definitely resonates the words, and everyone loves a happy story and a glorious ending.
Good read. Thanks.
Regards, anabelle
Comment Written 13-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2010
-
Hi, Anabelle. Thanks for reading. I was in the mood for a simple, romantic story. The look in this woman's eyes is incredible. I liked the way it ended too. - John
Comment from Isaiah Ramesses
Not much originality, John, but it has a romantic flow to it. Very good narration and dialogue. I found no errors here. Good job.
Isaiah
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2010
|
Not much originality, John, but it has a romantic flow to it. Very good narration and dialogue. I found no errors here. Good job.
Isaiah
Comment Written 13-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2010
-
It's not like most of my work, but I found such a calm, simplicity in this woman. Women definitely set the mood. - John
Comment from Ponder
Hi Thesis,
I thought this was a wonderful little 'moment' of a story and it does suit the picture and the expressions of the pair very well.
Your descriptions here are wonderful, but not overdone. (perhaps 2 carots was a bit over the top! lol)
Altogether a very nice read, Thanks.
I have no suggestions for you, your writing is clean.
Jules
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2010
|
Hi Thesis,
I thought this was a wonderful little 'moment' of a story and it does suit the picture and the expressions of the pair very well.
Your descriptions here are wonderful, but not overdone. (perhaps 2 carots was a bit over the top! lol)
Altogether a very nice read, Thanks.
I have no suggestions for you, your writing is clean.
Jules
Comment Written 13-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2010
-
Hi, Jules. Perhaps you're right, but if he got it at Tiffany's, he'd be hard pressed to get out of there with something smaller, lol. Thank you for reading my story. - John
-
The closest I ever got to buying something in tiffany's was when I stood close enough to hear a guy hand over 120,000 for a watch. He wanted it to go with a new suit, I always wondered how much the suit cost! (I was on Hols in NYC and went in for a look)
Comment from empire76
Lovely picture and lovely story. What I like to call a slice of life. Your use of imagery makes the story interesting to read. Good flow as well
Just a couple of nits:
- Lightening forced us to break our embrace,
Should be 'lightning' (delete the 'e' after the 't')
- The water hitting ou[t] faces like chilled stones
type. should be our
Cheers
Empi
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2010
|
Lovely picture and lovely story. What I like to call a slice of life. Your use of imagery makes the story interesting to read. Good flow as well
Just a couple of nits:
- Lightening forced us to break our embrace,
Should be 'lightning' (delete the 'e' after the 't')
- The water hitting ou[t] faces like chilled stones
type. should be our
Cheers
Empi
Comment Written 13-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2010
-
Hi, Empi. Thanks for the nits. I fixed them as soon as I got this. I'm glad you enjoyed my simple romance story. - John
Comment from c_lucas
Some men will move mountains to have a fitting romantic scene to propose. This is very well written with good imagery and descriptive scheme.
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2010
|
Some men will move mountains to have a fitting romantic scene to propose. This is very well written with good imagery and descriptive scheme.
Comment Written 13-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2010
-
So true, Charlie. I don't htink it would have mattered o this young lady though. She seems so very removed from the traditional route, that it's refreshing. - John
-
The man was lucky God was on his side. (LOL)
