Another Pretty Face
Viewing comments for Chapter 3 "Chapter 2 Part One"Can love survive small town gossip?
71 total reviews
Comment from adewpearl
typo - A grinned crossed her lips - A grin crossed
I like their lunchtime conversation - it indicates a lot about him and his feelings for her that he would reveal something that intimate and that secret in his life so soon in their just developing relationship. I also like the conversation with the busybody gossip in the fast food restaurant. That goes a long way toward showing the nature of this small town, in its pettiness, its intrusiveness, and in the way gossip spreads like wildfire.
I have one little suggestion - I always like specific detail. It helps make things seem alive and authentic to me.
So, I'd just be happier if they go to a Burger King or whatever than a generic fast food restaurant and if instead of food and soda, they have burgers and Coke, etc.
Overall, this is an excellent chapter that develops character and moves the plot/relationship forward. Brooke :-)
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reply by the author on 01-Jul-2010
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typo - A grinned crossed her lips - A grin crossed
I like their lunchtime conversation - it indicates a lot about him and his feelings for her that he would reveal something that intimate and that secret in his life so soon in their just developing relationship. I also like the conversation with the busybody gossip in the fast food restaurant. That goes a long way toward showing the nature of this small town, in its pettiness, its intrusiveness, and in the way gossip spreads like wildfire.
I have one little suggestion - I always like specific detail. It helps make things seem alive and authentic to me.
So, I'd just be happier if they go to a Burger King or whatever than a generic fast food restaurant and if instead of food and soda, they have burgers and Coke, etc.
Overall, this is an excellent chapter that develops character and moves the plot/relationship forward. Brooke :-)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 01-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2010
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I changed that sentence as I was posting and still got it wrong. Thank you for catching it. Can I say Burger King? I was afraid of getting into trouble for that. I wanted to, but... Thank you for your kind review.
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I've read lots of books that mention Walmart, etc, and if the book were being published and the publisher's lawyers said you would need to get permissions, etc, then you could make up the name of some local burger joint instead. LOL
