Reviews from

Another Pretty Face

Viewing comments for Chapter 3 "Chapter 2 Part One"
Can love survive small town gossip?

71 total reviews 
Comment from cheyennewy
Excellent
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Hi Barbara,

Another interesting and light-hearted chapter. I think I told you I grew up in a small town and I remember how fast gossip got from person to another like it had a life of its own. I am intrigued with Joe and Sara. You have excellent story writing ability....blessings, chey

 Comment Written 02-Jul-2010


reply by the author on 02-Jul-2010
    Thank you for your kind review. I am hoping to show how this small town gossip can hurt.
Comment from jclark
Excellent
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Good informative chapter. Gives some insight into Joe's character and a glimpse at his past. I "feel" Sara's pressure living in a small town with lots of "small minds" Your words create wonderful visuals.
Judy

 Comment Written 02-Jul-2010


reply by the author on 02-Jul-2010
    Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from lola29
Excellent
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This was a very sweet chapter, and I was impressed when Joe told the nosy girl, in essence, to mind her own business. Geez, maybe Sara should wear a scarlett letter.

 Comment Written 02-Jul-2010


reply by the author on 02-Jul-2010
    I think Sara has an invisible scarlet letter. Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from dportwood
Excellent
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barbara,

Again a nice job of writing. You have explained a lot about the characters through their dialogue. Well done.

Duane

 Comment Written 02-Jul-2010


reply by the author on 02-Jul-2010
    Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Kaladore
Excellent
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Another good continuation. The story is advancing at a good pace and the character developement is superb. Can't wait to read the next chapter!

 Comment Written 02-Jul-2010


reply by the author on 02-Jul-2010
    Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Jonez08
Excellent
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Hi Barbara, another great chapter. I'm loving your characters. They are easy to relate to and their togetherness is just so smooth and honest. I care about them already and about the outcome of their love story. I really look forward to more.

"I'm sure your mom fixed lunch, besides we don't serve lunch."
--cosider: "I'm sure your mom fixed lunch. Besides, we don't serve lunch."

OK, I came to see you."
(nice comeback)

Sure." He walked around the front of the car, opened the door, and (sat) behind the steering wheel
--may I suggest (climbed). This will transition him into the car smoother, instead of he opened the door and sat

I'm playing it by ear. I just wanted to see you again."
(he's open and honest about his feelings)

Joe stared at her. Why is she telling me this?
(lol)

can't believe the school's most famous graduate couldn't find a better,
(unreal, she deserves a slap)

He dropped a fry, picked it up, and tossed it toward a pigeon.
(great visual)

Cassandra

 Comment Written 02-Jul-2010


reply by the author on 02-Jul-2010
    Thank you for your kind review. I always appreciate hearing from you.
Comment from missy98writer
Excellent
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Barbara,
Your newest chapter is very well written and an enjoyable read. Outstanding characterization, excellent dialogue, great romantic tensions, and vivid imagery put the scenes in my head. Here are some examples of your descriptive writing scheme in this chapter:
Joe stared at her. Why is she telling me this? He shook hands and greeted other people as they came up to him. "I know your parents and vaguely remember Robert."

"I'm wondering if the rumors true. Are you really dating Sara Riley? I can't believe the school's most famous graduate couldn't find a better," she paused before she said, "I meant, a different date."
WHAT A BITCH!
Joe hesitated, keeping his anger in check. "I'm escorting Sara to her fifteenth class reunion, so yes, I am dating her." The woman behind the counter handed him their order. "Excuse me. She's waiting." He walked toward her. Rumors travel fast in this town. He motioned with his head toward the door. "Let's get out of here."

He took a sip of soda. "Do you honestly believe you're the only person in this town who had sex in high school or before you were married?" Before she could answer, he continued, "You just happened to get pregnant, so everybody knew."
"Just to set the record straight, in this town it was taboo when I was in high school too. I hope for Cassie's sake it still is." She brushed a few crumbs from the table and watched them hit the ground. "Would you tell me about a mistake you made?"
He took a bite, chewed, then swallowed before he answered, "While a junior at West Point, I invited a local girl to a dance. Halfway through the dance we left and talked someone into buying some beer at a gas station. We got drunk and ended up in my dorm room. While we were having sex, my roommate, Matt Patterson, walked in on us." Joe studied Sara, then added, "To answer your earlier question, no, I haven't waited for marriage to have sex." He ate a French fry. "Matt was interested in the same girl and already had a few dates with her, only I didn't know it at the time
He stared at her hand, touching his arm. "Nobody knows about this except the girl, Matt, and me. Just in case you're wondering, I decided drinking wasn't for me either. It wasn't the first time I'd done something stupid after drinking, but it was the last."
You've become a marvelous story teller, my friend. This deserves six stars but the highest I can give you right now is five at the moment. Keep up the wonderful writing. I look forward to the next chapter . .Melissa.

 Comment Written 02-Jul-2010


reply by the author on 02-Jul-2010
    Thank you, Missy, for the wonderful review and the support. I appreciate both.
Comment from gramalot8
Excellent
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Barbara, I really just love the relationship you are building with these two. I'm also ashamed for the town that holds such a grudge against one long ago mistake. Good job. Keep writing.

 Comment Written 02-Jul-2010


reply by the author on 02-Jul-2010
    Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from minopavlic
Excellent
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Barbara, you have a way of making the characters real, allowing for one to more readily become part of the actual story. As you have many values throughout the story, I'm sure its one that will be enjoyed by many.

Mino

 Comment Written 02-Jul-2010


reply by the author on 02-Jul-2010
    Thank you for your kind review.
reply by minopavlic on 02-Jul-2010
    Thank you for a pleasurable read.
Comment from jadapenn
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Hi Girlfriend, a sixer for this lovely chapter. You are really developing this into a terrific story. I'm guessing who's Cassie's father. Could it be Joe or is it Josh? lol. I'll just have to wait and see. But honestly, I like this story so far. Well done. luv jada

 Comment Written 02-Jul-2010


reply by the author on 02-Jul-2010
    Thank you. I will promise your neither of your guesses are right about Cassie's father. Hearing from you is always a joy.