Writings From the Heart
Viewing comments for Chapter 26 "The sailor"A book of Poetry & Writing
72 total reviews
Comment from Gungalo
I love this write in tribute to your father. It's full of his love for the sea and tells a story all at once time. Your well chosen words fit the man, me thinks. Beautifully done!!!
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2011
  |
I love this write in tribute to your father. It's full of his love for the sea and tells a story all at once time. Your well chosen words fit the man, me thinks. Beautifully done!!!
Comment Written 12-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2011
-
thank you
-
My pleasure!!!
Comment from jgirlie152
This is a very fine poem of the sailor who spent so many years at sea, and what will he do now after so much time away from family and home? You made a boat, which is reasonably right, and enjoy the sea again.
Joan
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2010
|
This is a very fine poem of the sailor who spent so many years at sea, and what will he do now after so much time away from family and home? You made a boat, which is reasonably right, and enjoy the sea again.
Joan
Comment Written 04-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2010
-
thank you joan
Comment from flygirl254
I sincerely think this poem is a wonderful dedication to those who have served their country on the waters and also a sweet tribute to your own father. I think the rhymes scattered throughout the poem keep it flowing along so the poem seems to have some structure even though it is free verse. I like the rhythm of this poem when I read it out loud. I was able to read it to my son and he thought it was very good as well.
My favorite part of this poem is the line, "The smell, the rage, the power, the tears," because it injects a sudden dose of the vivid experience/memories this sailor has. I also like the way you ended this poem, explaining that even after leaving that life, this sailor comes home to go right back out to what he has always known to find his peace.
This is a great poem and I enjoyed it very much.
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2010
|
I sincerely think this poem is a wonderful dedication to those who have served their country on the waters and also a sweet tribute to your own father. I think the rhymes scattered throughout the poem keep it flowing along so the poem seems to have some structure even though it is free verse. I like the rhythm of this poem when I read it out loud. I was able to read it to my son and he thought it was very good as well.
My favorite part of this poem is the line, "The smell, the rage, the power, the tears," because it injects a sudden dose of the vivid experience/memories this sailor has. I also like the way you ended this poem, explaining that even after leaving that life, this sailor comes home to go right back out to what he has always known to find his peace.
This is a great poem and I enjoyed it very much.
Comment Written 04-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2010
-
thank you for the review flygirl Gary
Comment from E.P. Thomas
DW,
This is a nicely written, but very sad poem that conveys the pain and bewilderment of a son left behind by a father who cd not give up the sea, even when he retired from the navy. Well done once again.
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2010
|
DW,
This is a nicely written, but very sad poem that conveys the pain and bewilderment of a son left behind by a father who cd not give up the sea, even when he retired from the navy. Well done once again.
Comment Written 04-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2010
-
thank you E P for the review
Comment from L.A.Tripp
I admit first off that I'm not a professional reviewer of poetry. I will say, however, that your message seems to come across fairly clear to me and for that well done. Seems like you prefer sea to land.
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2010
|
I admit first off that I'm not a professional reviewer of poetry. I will say, however, that your message seems to come across fairly clear to me and for that well done. Seems like you prefer sea to land.
Comment Written 03-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2010
-
thank for thr review LA my dad was navy and i was Army but work offshore
Comment from Nanette Mary
Hullo Deepwater ...
I enjoyed reading this and was especially pleased to read in your Notes at the end that the picture was that of your Father, taken in 1934 when he was in the Royal Navy.
Did he remain at sea for the rest of his working life?
There are just a few small changes to recommend ...
* You have - as you sail beyond the sky ... I suggest -
as you sail beneath the sky ... ships sail beyond the horizon but not beyond the sky ...
* You have - The smell, the rage, the power, the tears
That keeps drawing you back each year.
I suggest - That keep drawing you back ....
Thank you for sharing this with us.
Love from ..... Nanette Mary.
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2010
|
Hullo Deepwater ...
I enjoyed reading this and was especially pleased to read in your Notes at the end that the picture was that of your Father, taken in 1934 when he was in the Royal Navy.
Did he remain at sea for the rest of his working life?
There are just a few small changes to recommend ...
* You have - as you sail beyond the sky ... I suggest -
as you sail beneath the sky ... ships sail beyond the horizon but not beyond the sky ...
* You have - The smell, the rage, the power, the tears
That keeps drawing you back each year.
I suggest - That keep drawing you back ....
Thank you for sharing this with us.
Love from ..... Nanette Mary.
Comment Written 03-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2010
-
thank you Mary for the comments and review
Comment from dtimes3
Nice tribute to your dad. It is always hard to see the world through the eyes of another but you have done a good job of seeing here and of expressing the emotions of your vision. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2010
|
Nice tribute to your dad. It is always hard to see the world through the eyes of another but you have done a good job of seeing here and of expressing the emotions of your vision. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 03-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2010
-
thank you for reading dtimes
Comment from SamanthaD.
What a wonderful tribute to your dad. I can see through your writing- especially in the second reading- that your dad was only comfortable in his life when at sea even though it wasn't always easy. It still called to him- that's where he was most at home- did I come close to "getting it"?
Hugs, Samantha
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2010
|
What a wonderful tribute to your dad. I can see through your writing- especially in the second reading- that your dad was only comfortable in his life when at sea even though it wasn't always easy. It still called to him- that's where he was most at home- did I come close to "getting it"?
Hugs, Samantha
Comment Written 03-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2010
-
you did Samantha and thank you for the review Gary
Comment from fluffnstuff
Is that what you did, or once you set foot on solid ground, you dug those heels in forever? Oh, i just saw it was a picture of your dad? beg ur pardon. My daddy was in the Navy WWII. He is gone also. Mom is 96 in sept. married 67 years if u can fathom that. I'l be glad to live that long. Nicely done, and nice talkin to ya again. defluffs
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2010
|
Is that what you did, or once you set foot on solid ground, you dug those heels in forever? Oh, i just saw it was a picture of your dad? beg ur pardon. My daddy was in the Navy WWII. He is gone also. Mom is 96 in sept. married 67 years if u can fathom that. I'l be glad to live that long. Nicely done, and nice talkin to ya again. defluffs
Comment Written 03-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2010
-
thank you fluff for this review and comments
Comment from Gert sherwood
Hello deepwater,
very well done. Nice even flow within your free verse poem.
I will have to read your poem to my hubby, he was a sailor and was on many aircraft carriers.
Gert
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2010
|
Hello deepwater,
very well done. Nice even flow within your free verse poem.
I will have to read your poem to my hubby, he was a sailor and was on many aircraft carriers.
Gert
Comment Written 03-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2010
-
thank you Gert
