Writings From the Heart
Viewing comments for Chapter 25 "As I wander through time and space"A book of Poetry & Writing
94 total reviews
Comment from dmoncrief
Thanks for sharing this tribute to the memory of your mom and gram. I understand about recalling the little things. They come back to me when I least expect them.
I liked your word choices, and I think the structure of this poem flowed and suited the topic.
Thanks for sharing this with me.
Denise
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2010
  |
Thanks for sharing this tribute to the memory of your mom and gram. I understand about recalling the little things. They come back to me when I least expect them.
I liked your word choices, and I think the structure of this poem flowed and suited the topic.
Thanks for sharing this with me.
Denise
Comment Written 29-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2010
-
welcome Denise
Comment from fionageorge
A lovely dedication to your beautiful mother and grand-mother. Simple but effective, well structured and free flowing poem, which emotes the feelings you have for these two wonderful women, who will always be with you.
Warmest regards, Marijke
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2010
|
A lovely dedication to your beautiful mother and grand-mother. Simple but effective, well structured and free flowing poem, which emotes the feelings you have for these two wonderful women, who will always be with you.
Warmest regards, Marijke
Comment Written 29-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2010
-
thank you Marijke
Comment from DrJane
Hi, Deepwater: This is a lovely tribute to your Mom and Grandmother, I assume. Your imagery is very poignant and captures the reader's attention throughout. Wonderful picture for this poem. Notes: Please check your spelling in the subtitle and in Line 9: "Mom and Garm" or "Garn"; also, not sure if you mean "wander" or "wonder" in the title and Line 1. Possible rewrite: "As I wander (or wonder) through time and space.."
Blessings,
Jane
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2010
|
Hi, Deepwater: This is a lovely tribute to your Mom and Grandmother, I assume. Your imagery is very poignant and captures the reader's attention throughout. Wonderful picture for this poem. Notes: Please check your spelling in the subtitle and in Line 9: "Mom and Garm" or "Garn"; also, not sure if you mean "wander" or "wonder" in the title and Line 1. Possible rewrite: "As I wander (or wonder) through time and space.."
Blessings,
Jane
Comment Written 29-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2010
-
thanks Dr for the review and comment
Comment from LadyWave
I thought this was a lovely tribute written to people you've loved and lost. You captured your deep emotion for them so well. I really like the last line - "My heart still carries a tear"
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2010
|
I thought this was a lovely tribute written to people you've loved and lost. You captured your deep emotion for them so well. I really like the last line - "My heart still carries a tear"
Comment Written 29-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2010
-
thank you Ladywave
Comment from fictionwriter
Isn't it horrible to be the one left behind, wishing those gone before could still hear you and you could touch them. I know how that feels. great job.
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2010
|
Isn't it horrible to be the one left behind, wishing those gone before could still hear you and you could touch them. I know how that feels. great job.
Comment Written 29-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2010
-
thank you fictionwriteer for the review
Comment from fastdigits
An embrace across time and space of
memories carried in the attics of
the mind, where soft whispers of
life as it was come out and haunt
the silent night.
Well done
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2010
|
An embrace across time and space of
memories carried in the attics of
the mind, where soft whispers of
life as it was come out and haunt
the silent night.
Well done
Comment Written 29-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2010
-
thank you fastdigits for the review and comment
Comment from bowls
It seems like this poem was written right from the heart. Yes, it's all those little things we remember and cherish. Nicely rhymed with a very pleasant rhythm. Thanks for sharing this.
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2010
|
It seems like this poem was written right from the heart. Yes, it's all those little things we remember and cherish. Nicely rhymed with a very pleasant rhythm. Thanks for sharing this.
Comment Written 29-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2010
-
thank you for reading bowls
Comment from fayesh
A lovely rhymed piece for your beloved Mom and Gram (check the spelling in the fourth to the last line). Also to keep within the rhyme format of the first eight lines, think about changing the last four lines to coincide.
Dear mom and garn I miss you dear
But see you in my dreams
The stars at night do whisper your names
My heart still carries a tear,
Change to:
The stars at night do whisper your names
Dear Mom and gram I miss you dear
But see you in my dreams
My heart still carries a tear.
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2010
 |
A lovely rhymed piece for your beloved Mom and Gram (check the spelling in the fourth to the last line). Also to keep within the rhyme format of the first eight lines, think about changing the last four lines to coincide.
Dear mom and garn I miss you dear
But see you in my dreams
The stars at night do whisper your names
My heart still carries a tear,
Change to:
The stars at night do whisper your names
Dear Mom and gram I miss you dear
But see you in my dreams
My heart still carries a tear.
Comment Written 29-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2010
-
again no please if you don't like don't read
Comment from writedelight
A beautiful poem reflecting on the things that use to be.
The theme is excellent and the poem draws on your emotions about your mom. Keep up the good work.
writedelight.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2010
|
A beautiful poem reflecting on the things that use to be.
The theme is excellent and the poem draws on your emotions about your mom. Keep up the good work.
writedelight.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 29-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2010
-
thanks
Comment from minopavlic
Gary, I really appreciate and respect what you have penned for reasons I think more often than not escapes our attention. Firstly growing up on a farm is in itself satisfying, make no mistake, its a hard, rugged life and takes a special person to endure such a life.. I'm sure in your mothers time, things were harsh, but she handed everything down to you as taught to her by her own mother, your Gram. If we think life is harsh, try living and surviving during the thirties.
I can see the bond mother and daughter shared, and how that bond in togetherness helped to nuture you into the man you've become.
Mino
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2010
|
Gary, I really appreciate and respect what you have penned for reasons I think more often than not escapes our attention. Firstly growing up on a farm is in itself satisfying, make no mistake, its a hard, rugged life and takes a special person to endure such a life.. I'm sure in your mothers time, things were harsh, but she handed everything down to you as taught to her by her own mother, your Gram. If we think life is harsh, try living and surviving during the thirties.
I can see the bond mother and daughter shared, and how that bond in togetherness helped to nuture you into the man you've become.
Mino
Comment Written 29-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2010
-
thank you myfriend for reading and the comments Gary
-
your welcome
-
You are welcome Gary
