Writings From the Heart
Viewing comments for Chapter 25 "As I wander through time and space"A book of Poetry & Writing
94 total reviews
Comment from kukarad70
Dear Deepwater,
Your writing poetry, As I wander from time and space, is represented your sadness in missing of love of Mom & Gram who are not with you presently. You are in grief and remembering the past moments and given happiness to you in past by them. You are thinking you are meeting them one day, but you are in the world of imagination and remembrance. Your feeling which is coming in your memory really made you tearful. But what to do life is not our hand, we must be capable tolerate everything in life whatever happens so that we must secure courage to control ourselves which I am seeing needing on you. I have found little bit lyrical pattern in your poem and nice to read to understand past with pain in present. Thanks a lot for your remembrance poem than writing. All the best. Kamal
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2010
  |
Dear Deepwater,
Your writing poetry, As I wander from time and space, is represented your sadness in missing of love of Mom & Gram who are not with you presently. You are in grief and remembering the past moments and given happiness to you in past by them. You are thinking you are meeting them one day, but you are in the world of imagination and remembrance. Your feeling which is coming in your memory really made you tearful. But what to do life is not our hand, we must be capable tolerate everything in life whatever happens so that we must secure courage to control ourselves which I am seeing needing on you. I have found little bit lyrical pattern in your poem and nice to read to understand past with pain in present. Thanks a lot for your remembrance poem than writing. All the best. Kamal
Comment Written 30-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2010
-
thank you Kamal
Comment from Isaiah Ramesses
Well rhymed and well versed, Gary. I'm glad your back-I know the gulf coudn't be as pretty as I can remember it. I'm assuming you were there when you said you'd been off shore. I enjoyed this short poem. Good job.
Isaiah Ramesses
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2010
|
Well rhymed and well versed, Gary. I'm glad your back-I know the gulf coudn't be as pretty as I can remember it. I'm assuming you were there when you said you'd been off shore. I enjoyed this short poem. Good job.
Isaiah Ramesses
Comment Written 30-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2010
-
thank you Isaiah, am still out here but just got the internet line working this last week, am on the drill rig Luigs 80 miles out of Freeport
Comment from jmyron
A very touching and loving tribute to your mother and grandmother. My only comment, by way of critique, would be to make it 3 stanza's of four lines each. Write on...
John
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2010
|
A very touching and loving tribute to your mother and grandmother. My only comment, by way of critique, would be to make it 3 stanza's of four lines each. Write on...
John
Comment Written 30-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2010
-
thank you for reading Jm
Comment from CALLAHANMR
This is a great tribute to your mother and grandmother for all the little thing they said and did. Things that must influence you from day to day.
You make me remember my own ancestors, who have influenced me from generations past. You bring out vivid images of those I remember from so long ago.
you have great rhythm, rhyme and floe. Thank you for sharing.
Roger
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2010
|
This is a great tribute to your mother and grandmother for all the little thing they said and did. Things that must influence you from day to day.
You make me remember my own ancestors, who have influenced me from generations past. You bring out vivid images of those I remember from so long ago.
you have great rhythm, rhyme and floe. Thank you for sharing.
Roger
Comment Written 30-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2010
-
thank you Call
Comment from foxtale
'my heart still carries a tear'
now that is beautiful.
What a splendid poem.
A paean? I hope that is the word.
I re read several times. This has a meter and style of gentle old times.
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2010
|
'my heart still carries a tear'
now that is beautiful.
What a splendid poem.
A paean? I hope that is the word.
I re read several times. This has a meter and style of gentle old times.
Comment Written 30-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2010
-
thank you fox
Comment from KeepSmiling
This is a lovely tribute to your mother and grandmother Well written, with excellent rhythm. I like how you mention "the little things" - that is truly what we miss about our departed loved ones, the small things that made a big difference.
The last stanza's rhyme format doesn't match with the rest of the poem, If I may suggest, it might flow better to reverse the first and second line in that stanza so it might read
I see you both inside my dreams
Dear Mom and Gram I miss you dear
The stars at night do whisper your names
My heart still carries a tear
Just a thought :). Thanks for sharing this heartfelt poem
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2010
|
This is a lovely tribute to your mother and grandmother Well written, with excellent rhythm. I like how you mention "the little things" - that is truly what we miss about our departed loved ones, the small things that made a big difference.
The last stanza's rhyme format doesn't match with the rest of the poem, If I may suggest, it might flow better to reverse the first and second line in that stanza so it might read
I see you both inside my dreams
Dear Mom and Gram I miss you dear
The stars at night do whisper your names
My heart still carries a tear
Just a thought :). Thanks for sharing this heartfelt poem
Comment Written 30-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2010
-
thanks for the comments keep
Comment from ArtGal
What a wonderful poem you have written here, from your heart, to your Mom and Gram. And how beautiful they both are. I can feel the love that you have for both of them, and how much you miss them. Just know that they are still with you. And I know for sure that our loved ones come to us in our sleep. God bless. . .Sharon
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2010
|
What a wonderful poem you have written here, from your heart, to your Mom and Gram. And how beautiful they both are. I can feel the love that you have for both of them, and how much you miss them. Just know that they are still with you. And I know for sure that our loved ones come to us in our sleep. God bless. . .Sharon
Comment Written 29-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2010
-
thank you Sharon
Comment from skye
Those precious loved ones are never far from our thoughts and hearts.
Your sweet poem of love, with good rhymes and lines, links past and present.
Well done.
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2010
|
Those precious loved ones are never far from our thoughts and hearts.
Your sweet poem of love, with good rhymes and lines, links past and present.
Well done.
Comment Written 29-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2010
-
thank you Skye
Comment from words
I liked your sweet ode to your grandmother and mom.
I especially liked your opening:
As I wander from time and space
Looking back at what we had,
All the little things you would say and do
Made me happy, not so sad
I think of both from time to time,
Knowing we'll be together again some day,
Remembering little things in life
We cherished along the way,
Yes, it is the little kindnesses of life that we remember most. Well said.
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2010
 |
I liked your sweet ode to your grandmother and mom.
I especially liked your opening:
As I wander from time and space
Looking back at what we had,
All the little things you would say and do
Made me happy, not so sad
I think of both from time to time,
Knowing we'll be together again some day,
Remembering little things in life
We cherished along the way,
Yes, it is the little kindnesses of life that we remember most. Well said.
Comment Written 29-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2010
-
thank you for your most welcome review Words Gary
Comment from ulster3
Hello deepwater.
The picture almost causes me to feel deja vu. The poem is excellent with good flow, and it brought my own Mom and Gran to mind. I also want to mention I love the tractor picture in your Portfolio.
Fondly, Rebecca :)
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2010
|
Hello deepwater.
The picture almost causes me to feel deja vu. The poem is excellent with good flow, and it brought my own Mom and Gran to mind. I also want to mention I love the tractor picture in your Portfolio.
Fondly, Rebecca :)
Comment Written 29-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2010
-
thank you Rebecca
